Who gives the death notification if one member in a dual-military couple is killed when witnessing a crime?

2021-08-02T02:05:52-04:00

I'm a yet to be published author working on a novel involving military spouses. I served 3 years in the mid to late 70s. My husband retired in 1990. So, I am asking for current information to write it the right way.

My question is if the husband and wife are both active duty. She's pregnant, they both pulled duty the night before and are on the way home. They stop for gas; he goes in to pay cash and grab some coffee. He walks in on an armed robbery in progress and is shot and killed almost as soon as he walks in the door. Will the police on the scene break the news to her that he was killed? Will anyone from the unit come to the scene to be with her? She's pregnant around 12 weeks give or take. I'm a surviving spouse of a retired soldier, but I was interested in how this particular scenario would play out with the army. They're stationed at Fort Carson, Co both are from Texas if that matters. Both are enlisted Specialist 4?

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 2 at 2021 2:09 AM

2021-08-02T02:09:51-04:00

SPC Kathy Crouch Why wouldn't she already know... she was there?

Response by SSgt Christophe Murphy made Aug 2 at 2021 7:34 AM

2021-08-02T07:34:16-04:00

The Command will assign a CACO (casually assistance call officer). It’s normally an Officer or SNCO who will be the POC for families to walk them through the process. They will be the ones knocking on the door.

https://www.militaryonesource.mil/family-relationships/gold-star-surviving-family/support-after-loss/overview-of-casualty-assistance/

DOD Casualty Assistance Program | Military OneSource

The Casualty Assistance Program makes sure that military families have support in their time of need, including understanding all benefits and other forms of assistance. Casualty support to eligible family members also means support after injury and illness, and when a service member is missing.

Response by SGM Steve Wettstein made Aug 2 at 2021 7:34 AM

2021-08-02T07:34:46-04:00

1. She's already at the gas station, she already knows he's dead.
2. No one from the unit, unless already there, will go because it's a crime scene and won't be able to get in. I've kept O6 and up out of crime scenes because they don't have a reason to be there.
3. Their rank and state they're from have no effect on the outcome.
4. As an MP, I've done death notifications.

Response by SFC Casey O'Mally made Aug 2 at 2021 8:09 AM

2021-08-02T08:09:26-04:00

I have been on CNO / CAO (Casualty Notification Officer / Casualty Assistance Officer) duty before. CNO's are the ones who knock on the door and give the official notification. They briefly cover this type of scenario in training - making notification to someone who already knows. Simply put, we don't do it, at least not in the Army.

The way we do it in the Army is that The CNO goes and knocks on the door and makes the official notification. The CNO comes with a Chaplain, and together they make sure that the person receiving the notification is stable and has support to get them through the next couple of hours. Then they notify the surviving family member that another person will be reaching out to them in a couple of hours. The second person is the CAO, who walks the survivor through the process of applying for and receiving all of the benefits they are due.

In your scenario, no CNO would be dispatched. Once the dust had settled, a CAO would be dispatched to walk through the process. CNO is not required because the surviving family member already knows.

I will caveat, that if we *think* the family member knows, but we are not 100% positive, we will (almost always) dispatch a CNO to make sure. So, if, in your novel, the husband is rushed to the ER, and dies there (assuming she is, for some reason, not at his bedside), then the CNO *may* be required.

There are a lot if "ifs" involved. But the bottom line is if we *know* the surviving family member already knows (which happens a lot with secondary dependents - for instance if a surviving wife calls the children while the CNO is there) then we do not dispatch the CNO. If we are not sure, we dispatch the CNO - with Chaplian - to be sure. Also, generally speaking, different surviving family members get their own CNO and CAO. There are exceptions, such as younger children living with surviving parent, but especially when it comes to adults (like older children who have moved out), usually each person will have their own. Knocking on the door is EXCEPTIONALLY rough, emotionally, for that NCO or Officer making notification. Having them do it twice in one day is usually too much. And walking through the process as a CAO is very demanding, and walking two different people (who may have competing interests) through it at the same time may not always be possible.

The final thing to note is that both the CAO and CNO should be an equal or higher rank than both the deceased and the survivor (if survivor rank is known). CNO and CAO duty is only done by SNCOs and Officers (SFC- CSM, CPT - GEN, I think CW3 - CW5, but not sure on the WO ranks). The Casualty Assistance Center (CAC) will usually assign the lowest eligible rank (because there are more SFCs than CSMs, and more CPTs than COLs, not out of disrespect). In your scneario, with both being SPCs, the CNO (if needed) and CAO would almost definitely be SFCs.

I gave a bit more than you asked, because I felt it might be good background for your novel. I hope it was helpful rather than tedious.

Response by SFC Michael Hasbun made Aug 2 at 2021 8:41 AM

2021-08-02T08:41:32-04:00

She was right there. She saw it. Does she have cognitive disabilities?

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 2 at 2021 8:45 AM

2021-08-02T08:45:13-04:00

She's already there - how would she not know he was killed? If she witnessed it - why would anyone need to tell her he's dead?

I mean - the police aren't going to be there immediately. So she's most definitely going to get out of the car when she hears shots fired and probably go inside, especially if she sees the armed robber(s) take off. Even if she waits until the police arrive, she's going to see it as she walks up.

I doubt there's the need for a casualty notification officer when she witnessed her husband's murder. She would get a casualty assistance officer though to help through everything with SGLI, funeral proceedings, etc. That's what the CAO is for. The CNO just notify people of a SMs death. But no one needs to notify her - she witnessed the death.

They may possibly send a CNO to immediate family but I don't know why when she would likely call his immediate family to tell them he was murdered.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 2 at 2021 10:21 AM

2021-08-02T10:21:24-04:00

She's already on the scene. There would be no need for a CNO.

Response by Lt Col Jim Coe made Aug 2 at 2021 10:34 AM

2021-08-02T10:34:18-04:00

Based on your scenario, law enforcement may be the first to notify the spouse as part of their investigation. Somebody will formally notify the military. Again it might be law enforcement or the county coroner’s office. A memorandum of agreement between the county and installation may spell out how this works. The notification kicks off a series of events on the installation including:
-notifications to the Soldier’s unit commander
-up channel notification to chain of command including Major Commands
-formation of a death notification team
-unit and installation family support centers will contact the new widow
Lots of other stuff happens to take care of a myriad of details. Legal office and finance will contact the widow. Widow’s unit commander will get involved also to make sure she has support she needs.

I had a SSgt who worked for me die on a hunting trip. Wife was a SRA. Above is only a part of what happened. My wife stayed with the widow until some of her friends and relatives showed up to provide support.

Response by SrA John Monette made Aug 2 at 2021 10:42 AM

2021-08-02T10:42:03-04:00

how are the pregnancy, base, rank, or home of record relevant?

Response by SMSgt Bob Wilson made Aug 4 at 2021 12:00 AM

2021-08-04T00:00:40-04:00

DAH!! She's with him, you would think the wife would have been the first to know. To answer your question, the Police Officer in charge would do the duty. Now, if he was by himself, the Police Officer in charge MAY contact the Military Installation and request they notify the NOK or request a joint notification.

Response by Lt Col Timothy Cassidy-Curtis made Aug 15 at 2023 12:33 PM

2023-08-15T12:33:12-04:00

There is something of a plot hole, here. If she's there, why did she not notice that there was an incident, and he was shot?

With that said, it might work if they drove separate vehicles, and, along the way, (or, perhaps, just before each one got into their respective cars) he mentions that he'll stop for gas. So, why separate vehicles? My wife and I were Joint Spouse couples, and it was a very great convenience to have our own cars. You could have some incidental dialogue about that. "Two cars have been a bit expensive." She worriedly held her checkbook. "Honey," his soothing voice was the best balm "you know our schedules are crazy. We talked about this. It's the best way." She smiled and remembered their discussions about it. He wasn't great on the details, but he had a good handle on the big picture.

So, there's a suggestion. I imagine the wife being a detail-oriented person. Just my guess. Make it any way that you want, even switch the genders.

As far as the official response, the local Law Enforcement would be the first responders, along with an ambulance. If he was in uniform (likely) then LE would contact the Base Commander and/or First Sergeant. Notification would be up to them (LE, Base Commander, 1st Sgt). At that point, you have literary license to do whatever you want. One or the other could go, and dialog could help establish the relationship between the city and the base, and/or personnel thereof. Or, one or two from each could go. Dialog on the way would be interesting.

I hope you find this helpful.

Response by MSG Thomas Currie made Aug 15 at 2023 12:44 PM

2023-08-15T12:44:51-04:00

Yes the police are probably going to "notify" her, but it would not be "at the scene" because police don't get to decide he is dead. She knows more than they do, because the police wouldn't get there until after she or someone else at the scene called them.

It is very unlikely that either unit will "come to the scene" -- neither unit is going to know until someone notifies them, and the most likely person to notify the unit is the wife, once she calms down. How either unit reacts will depend greatly on the people in the chain of command (and how the chain of command felt about each of them as soldiers). Some units will be more supportive than others.

SFC Casey O'Mally explained the official part of the process for the Army. The assistance officer is tasked to provide assistance as needed. She may not need much assistance depending on how well she understands the process and how much help the units are providing. Unless regs have changed the Assistance Officer for the survivor of an enlisted member can be an E7 or above and would almost certainly be an NCO who is not from either unit.