Why am I feeling depressed sad lonely empty my father passed barely knew him an Army 11th LIB Infantry Radio Operator Vietnam 66-68?

PO3 Aaron Hassay — Wed, 10 Oct 2018 00:26:37 -0400

He passed away a year ago almost to date and I have not been able to mobilize

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 10 at 2018 12:34 AM

SSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 10 Oct 2018 00:34:27 -0400

It's always tough losing a loved one, especially a father. I haven't gone through the loss of my own father yet. But, I know if I live long enough, I will.

The closest family member that I lost was my cousin Stephen, who died in a freak motorcycle accident the same day my eldest son was born. I was already emotional over the birth over my son, and then moments after he was born, I received word about my cousin. It pushed me over the edge. I was both crying tears of joy for my son, and tears of grief for my cousin.

I can't imagine what kind of emotional pain you must be going through having lost your dad. I invite you to contact me privately, and I can offer you some additional help on a more personal level, if you wish.

Response by Cpl Jeff N. made Oct 10 at 2018 6:24 AM

Cpl Jeff N. — Wed, 10 Oct 2018 06:24:26 -0400

Aaron, I lost my Dad almost a year ago too (October 26). Dying is a part of living. That doesn't means it is a pain free ordeal but you have to move forward. You have to put one foot in front of the other. Ultimately we all die and those left behind have to move on. I know we do not all grieve the same way and for the same amount of time but we miss those that have left us.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 10 at 2018 8:53 AM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 10 Oct 2018 08:53:04 -0400

The entire time he was alive, the opportunity to renew a relationship with him was there. In the back of your mind it was still a possibility, even if it was one you weren't interested or ready to invest in. Once he was gone, that opportunity was gone forever. A lot of times we grieve the loss of opportunities not taken when a door closes forever.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Oct 10 at 2018 11:28 AM

MAJ Ken Landgren — Wed, 10 Oct 2018 11:28:13 -0400

When my father died, I did not grieve for him. I celebrated his long and good life.

Response by Sgt Jesus Rodriguez made Oct 10 at 2018 3:57 PM

Sgt Jesus Rodriguez — Wed, 10 Oct 2018 15:57:33 -0400

Take time to think if the passing of your father is what has you feeling this way, or is it other issues (in combination with) that are making it difficult for you to let go and move on. When we are depressed and/or sad our minds can trigger other negative issues to resurface taking us deeper in to a depressive state. Understanding that we cannot change the past, only the present and future, can help you move on and out of this state. People often refer to closure in this situations, unfortunately, our memories cannot be put in boxes that can be sealed and put away. Your mind will continue to recall those sad memories when least expected. But that’s fine, we need to know that our past is there to learn from it, and not to control us, and be grateful for what we have and not for what’s no longer there.
Take a deep breath and challenge yourself that you can manage this. Get outdoors, go for a walk, bike ride or a drive. Find a quiet place where you can think thing through and enjoy the beauty around you.
Hope you get better Aaron.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 10 at 2018 7:05 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 10 Oct 2018 19:05:36 -0400

I know not everyone believes in something after this life, but I do, and I believe we will again see those people we have lost. In the meantime, it is my view that the living still have work to do. I don't know if that helps, but it is how things look to me.