Why did you get divorced?

CPT Joseph K Murdock — Wed, 04 May 2016 13:55:51 -0400

I divorced her because she spent more than I earned, she was a drunk and did not take care of the children, and she got a DUI on post. She was also abusive to me. The best advice I got was from the post CSM who said sometimes you need to get rid of the wife to have a career.

I can share in the broken love and dreams, the fear, and the pain I compartmentalized at best.

Response by SFC Josh Billingsley made May 4 at 2016 1:57 PM

SFC Josh Billingsley — Wed, 04 May 2016 13:57:35 -0400

Combo factor-married young and dumb and then I deployed. The military is not at fault for my divorce though. It would have ended eventually, but the stress accelerated the process, for which I am thankful. I was more careful the next time I married and have been in a great relationship for over 10 years now.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made May 4 at 2016 1:58 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 04 May 2016 13:58:19 -0400

She wanted boyfriends while I was deployed and I didn't think that was right.

Response by LTJG Robert M. made May 4 at 2016 2:00 PM

LTJG Robert M. — Wed, 04 May 2016 14:00:35 -0400

I was deployed, she got a boyfriend

Response by SGT Bryon Sergent made May 4 at 2016 2:11 PM

SGT Bryon Sergent — Wed, 04 May 2016 14:11:16 -0400

Because she was a money grubbing, back stabbing, cheating W#$@e!
While overseas in Belgium right after 9-11 my unit deployed on a Force Protection mission. She spent all the money I earned while overseas, got a 20 yr old boy friend(she was 35 at the time), got rid of our apartment. Putting everything in storage and not paying the storage bill while it was there. Sold my truck! Then wrote 8500 dollars in bad checks, and got 5 years for being part of a check fraud ring!

Response by CW3 Private RallyPoint Member made May 4 at 2016 2:13 PM

CW3 Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 04 May 2016 14:13:47 -0400

She wasn't right for my Army career, so I Went to CIF and they issued me a better one

Response by SGM Erik Marquez made May 4 at 2016 2:25 PM

SGM Erik Marquez — Wed, 04 May 2016 14:25:48 -0400

Upfront I mean absolutely no disrespect to anybody they posted nor my looking down on anyone for choices made conditions that existed

I saw the question pop up in my feed and thought wow that could actually be a really helpful thread to those younger soldiers not yet married
Then I read the responses and realized the question wasn't really answered or it was but like saying why did you have an ND and the answer is I got shot in the head and bled a lot
I was thinking another way to answer the question as asked would be what went wrong how did you go from meeting and Mehring the spouse that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with to all the other negative things you all posted about
I ask this truly from the position of ignorance
I've never been divorced I've been married 24 years and our biggest argument and fight was the year I bought a bunch of parts for one of my motorcycles just before Christmas and she was mad at me because I didn't leave her anything to get me for Christmas
And that followed me buying a bunch of tools just before my birthday a few months before

If those with experience could articulate how they went from the love of your life to the person you hate
It might provide insight to those in a new beginning or even established relationship

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made May 4 at 2016 2:41 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 04 May 2016 14:41:14 -0400

My wife divorced me because it seemed that her, the Army and I were not compatible anymore.

CORRECTION....my ex-wife. Not my current wife.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made May 4 at 2016 2:50 PM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 04 May 2016 14:50:25 -0400

Went to Afghanistan and things fell apart 3 months in to the tour. Realized the "best friend" she was texting all times of the day and night was more than that. She didn't want to fix things so mutual agreed divorce. I kept everything, her family resented her, I'm happier now. Military life wasn't for her and I deserve someone better.

Response by SFC Pete Kain made May 4 at 2016 2:55 PM

SFC Pete Kain — Wed, 04 May 2016 14:55:55 -0400

Wife was banging the mailman while I was stationed in Germany. Nuff said.

Response by MSgt Kenneth Nahrwold made May 4 at 2016 3:09 PM

MSgt Kenneth Nahrwold — Wed, 04 May 2016 15:09:49 -0400

Was married before I joined the Air Force, once we realized how life would be in the military we grew apart. I loved what I was doing and she was miserable being a military wife. We thought having kids might solve the problem but that just made things worse (LOL). Between the assignments and deployments it was just a matter of time before the inventible happened, she was lonely and looking for someone not in the military and found someone. We spoke during my deployment and told me what happened and it lifted a huge weight off my chest. Returned from 6 month deployment to find her and kids gone to Nebraska starting her new life without me. So I found a wife that was happy to support me and my career in the Air Force. Thank you God for brining my soul mate into my life!

Response by SPC Jillian O'Malley made May 4 at 2016 3:46 PM

SPC Jillian O'Malley — Wed, 04 May 2016 15:46:55 -0400

My ex husband could just not keep it in his pants. We were dual military, and although we never experienced a deployment together, he cheated every second he could. I was young and stupid at the time and I honestly thought he was joking when I asked him what his hobbies were and his answer was "women". My family (mom and dad family) hated him so much they paid for my divorce. Happy to say that I was able to move on from it and I have been with my soulmate and love of my life for 11 years with 2 children together

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made May 4 at 2016 3:58 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 04 May 2016 15:58:01 -0400

(Looks around) Soooooo no women gonna post? I actually like this topic. Guess Ill go first. I divorced because I married for all the wrong reasons. It wasn't for love (we eventually grew to love one another). I was pregnant. Lesson learned. We tried. We failed. Life went on, but we tried for the child's sake. Simple as that.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made May 4 at 2016 4:29 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 04 May 2016 16:29:49 -0400

i came back from iraq a different person, the ambush, the lose of my 18 yo daughter, the ptsd and heavy drinking, and everthing else, she stood by me for 4 years after i came home but finally had enough, hooked up with another guy, and i devorced her

Response by SSG Jeremy Kohlwes made May 4 at 2016 5:59 PM

SSG Jeremy Kohlwes — Wed, 04 May 2016 17:59:44 -0400

I don't think my ex ever really knew HOW to be married. Kept living life like she was single (didn't cheat on me though). I remember one time when I came back from gunnery, I called to let her know my bus was almost back so she could come pick me up. Soooooo, it turned out she had decided to jump on a trip to Berlin with her friends. Luckily one of my battles gave me a ride home. Then I got stationed at Ft. Irwin and she decided within the first couple weeks that place was hell on earth (pretty accurate actually) and she couldn't live there.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made May 5 at 2016 2:35 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 05 May 2016 14:35:56 -0400

I was divorced because I'm a pig. at least I am honest.

Response by PO3 David Fries made May 5 at 2016 6:57 PM

PO3 David Fries — Thu, 05 May 2016 18:57:48 -0400

I got divorced for a variety of reasons. I was too young, she was even younger. We didn't know each other long enough. She wasn't mature enough to handle me being gone. She cheated on me when I was gone for my units MCRE at PTA, which was only 3 weeks after we got married. I offered her forgiveness and me raising her child from her infidelity if she moved with me when I EAS'd. She refused. That was the breaking point.

Response by Capt Private RallyPoint Member made May 5 at 2016 7:39 PM

Capt Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 05 May 2016 19:39:11 -0400

A bit too personal for this site.

Response by SN Greg Wright made May 5 at 2016 8:18 PM

SN Greg Wright — Thu, 05 May 2016 20:18:30 -0400

Caught her cheating on Christmas Eve 2003. I left on Christmas.

Response by Keri S made May 5 at 2016 10:30 PM

Keri S — Thu, 05 May 2016 22:30:39 -0400

I got divorced because he pretty much lost it after retiring. I tried everything I could to stay but the "I hates you's and you're a piece of shit" came way to often.
I left him with everything. Walked away with my kids and me. No child support, no alimony, no retirement, I signed the house and the atv's and land over to him.
I begged him to seek help and he stated he didn't need it.
I loved that man and still do, it hurt me more then I thought it would to walk away.

He's a wonderful man, wonderful provider, has a huge heart.
However, after he retired he felt he lost everything. No matter how much I tried to tell him no he didn't he felt he did. He said that he was just a civilian and lost all rank and he felt like nobody.
Even though he had already before even completely retiring landed another job just down the road on base for A company working on base. He moved up quick and becAme a lead instructor within 3 mo of even working there yet he still felt like he lost all rank and was a nobody.
I was at wits end and all I could do was support him threat I could and tolerate and accept whatever he dished out to me till one day he said I hate you one too many times and all because he was mad that there was a dish left in the sink.
I told him ok I'll leave tomorrow and I did.
He didn't believe me till he came home and I left with the kids and our personally belongings which all for in my truck.
Again, I loved and still love this man. It was truly hrs to walk away but sometimes even when you love someone you can't be with them.

Response by Tj Parker made Nov 7 at 2017 10:09 PM

Tj Parker — Tue, 07 Nov 2017 22:09:40 -0500

He cheated with a co-worker (both military, he outranks her). Reported both of them for adultery, but likely nothing will happen...

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Jun 20 at 2018 12:56 PM

MAJ Ken Landgren — Wed, 20 Jun 2018 12:56:01 -0400

My ex was a drunk who spent too much money.