Why do some vets, and humans in general, commit suicide all alone?

2017-03-16T17:34:24-04:00

It seems doing it shows how distant upset alone you feel with bags of lies confusion illness on your head. You're dream of greatness was assigned path to destruction. I don't want to feel alone. My personal dreams were left for dead on that ship. Life is hard when 18 yo military bootcamp honor integrity selfless service for peanuts are soon trumped by college resume-credit score-investments.

Response by SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth made Mar 16 at 2017 5:39 PM

2017-03-16T17:39:35-04:00

That is a tough one to answer. Some people commit suicide, because they don't want to deal with day to day situations, others need help, but don't want to ask or can't afford it. Just my honest opinion.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 16 at 2017 5:40 PM

2017-03-16T17:40:00-04:00

you really should contact your nearest emergency room.

Response by Sgt Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 16 at 2017 6:40 PM

2017-03-16T18:40:27-04:00

Have you called the Veterans Crisis Line?

https://www.veteranscrisisline.net/

Veterans Crisis Line | Suicide Prevention Hotline, Chat, & Text

Free, confidential support for Veterans in crisis and their families and friends. Call the Veterans Crisis Line at 1-800-273-8255 and Press 1, text to 838255, or chat online 24/7/365.

Response by PO3 Christopher Jonah Nelson made Mar 16 at 2017 6:46 PM

2017-03-16T18:46:52-04:00

PO3 Aaron Hassay You need to really examine yourself and honestly figure out why you're here and find a purpose to stay here. Personally, I have my family. It's my job to maintain the affairs of my family and to keep them healthy.

The second thing you need is to stop judging yourself by the standards of the society at large; you're not a civilian who started working at a job at 17, stayed with the same company for 20 years, and worked in to an executive position, and that's okay. You're a badass who knows how to slip a line, you're qualified as a firefighter at sea, you struck (and gained) a rating, and as a Third Class Petty Officer, you were responsible, whether you had people specifically assigned to you or not, for being a leader to every E3 and below on your ship. You can't lower yourself to the scale that civilians use, because civilians don't have a measurement for someone who has done as much as you have.

Third, you need to find someone you trust and spend as much time with them as possible. This might mean twice weekly appointments with a social worker, or it might mean going to the park five days a week to hang out with the old lady throwing bread at the ducks in the pond; whatever works for you, just find someone you trust and be someone they can trust.

It's going to take you a long time. There will be times when you think you can't hold out. There will be times when you sit and seriously think about whether or not your being there will actually affect the people around you. These times are when you're being the most affected by the demons that are torturing you, and if you're weak that's okay. If you're strong, that's okay. If all you can manage to do is lie in bed for two or three days, well...all I can say is make sure at least that you keep drinking water, but if that's what you need to do to heal, then do it.

Just don't entertain the idea that you or anybody else is better off without you. As tempting as it might be, it's simply not the truth. Everybody who knows you personally, really knows you, knows how much you're worth, even if you don't see it at the moment. Maybe you have to reach out to them. I joke about how my wife is my "Service Human", but really it's more true than joke. She stabilizes me, she protects me, she even goes out of her way to block physical contact or to field conversations for me in public. This goes back to finding someone you can trust; find yourself a Service Human who can help you understand, even at your darkest, how much you're actually worth.

Response by COL Charles Williams made Mar 16 at 2017 11:19 PM

2017-03-16T23:19:30-04:00

PO3 Aaron Hassay As Sgt Private RallyPoint Member stated, you need to make a call. Take a deep breath. The sun will always come up tomorrow if you let it. Suicide is never the answer. It is quick for the victim, and forever for everyone else who knew the victim. Make that call, and ask for help. This is not best place for help. The various veterans hotlines are.

Response by 1LT William Clardy made Mar 17 at 2017 7:14 AM

2017-03-17T07:14:13-04:00

PO3 Aaron Hassay, being a veteran is not and should not be the entirety of how you define yourself, just as the VA is not the only resource available to you and medication may not be the best cure for the things which ail you.

Find a good church near you, go in and talk with one of the pastors. Ministers are trained counselors, and they are networked with local assistance groups and programs. They will care less about what kind of discharge you got and more about resuscitating your soul and helping you be a fully functioning human being.

And don't underestimate the power of local charities and volunteers. For what it's worth, I have seen very, very few organizations which could match the quietly competent dedication of the Methodist Women groups at United Methodist churches I was a member of while living in SoCal.

If you want additional information or suggestions for which church, give me some idea of where you are and I could reach back to old acquaintances for recommended pastors.

Response by PO3 John Wagner made Mar 17 at 2017 8:39 AM

2017-03-17T08:39:30-04:00

I thought everyone committed suicide alone....except the crazies who haven't got the courage and feel the need to take others with. Wether you leave a note is optional I suppose. Seems better. It at least shows you weren't blaming anyone.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 20 at 2017 5:34 PM

2017-03-20T17:34:59-04:00

because as they see it, its a way to stop the pain and suffering, their life is no longer manageable and feel there is nothing left, there is no one to turn to, and the people you do turn to may not understand, make the call to the VA help line, there are better meds out there to help, and counselling services to get you through your nightmare, I've been doing it since 2009, through proper medication and counselling the guilt, anger and sense of hopelessness will get better, it wont go away, but you will have the tools to defeat it. the time is now whether civilian or VA you need to get your head spacing correct, just do it the time of suffering needs to end

Response by Teresa Varela made Mar 29 at 2017 10:57 AM

2017-03-29T10:57:24-04:00

Sir, I do not know you but I have 2 things to say on this subject. First listen to everyone who is advising you to get medical help because they are trained to know exactly what you are feeling and suffering through and are equipped to help you get past this very low point in your life. Second I wish to inform you that you are in no way second to someone with a college degree. In today's America where half the population want to kill you for what you have or what you believe in your expertise is needed. No matter what your job was in the service you were still trained to defend, protect and serve. Just because you are not paid by the military to defend and protect your fellow Americans does not mean your job of doing this is obsolete. From the time you signed up this was and still is your job sir. We need men who have been trained to protect, defend and serve to continue this even after their tour is finished. I can tell you the men around my neighborhood would only do this for themselves and not for the good of the whole. This feeling you are having can pass with help so please reach out and get that help and then do what you were trained to do. While in the military if you were reassigned to another task you would learn it and go from there so do just that and go to school and take advantage of the GI Bill or Veterans Aide for tuition. Get an Associates and become a firefighter or a police officer or start your own business but please do not leave the rest of us here to deal with the crazies who want to hurt us all on our own. Thank you for your service.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Aug 24 at 2018 3:27 PM

2018-08-24T15:27:06-04:00

You must always have hope and a don't quit attitude.