Why do spouses insist on wearing uniform items that they didn't earn? Better yet, why are the military members letting them?

2014-10-22T14:26:36-04:00

If I see another spouse half naked in either military blouse or draped in flag, I might loose it. And then claim 'I serve to'. NO. YOU DON'T. 'Toughest job in ___(insert branch here)' I'm a military spouse and I am a Marine, and once I'm off contract, I will not be saying that we serve together while he's gone. I run the home. So do you. Period. Self-entitled lazy .......

Response by 1LT Nick Kidwell made Oct 22 at 2014 2:39 PM

2014-10-22T14:39:56-04:00

Well, I know my wife wore my DXed PTs after the Army switched from the gray PTs to the reflective stuff, but she has never worn them out of the house.

I have also stripped my old BDUs of rank and insignia so that my son could use them for hunting gear.

However...generally speaking, unless you are in the branch of service for which that uniform item is intended, you shouldn't be wearing it, especially out in public.

Response by MAJ Dallas D. made Oct 23 at 2014 1:00 PM

2014-10-23T13:00:17-04:00

The Army made (IMHO) a mistake when they allowed the PT uniform to be worn mixed with civilian clothes, I think that opened everything up.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 23 at 2014 3:28 PM

2014-10-23T15:28:36-04:00

My wife is prior service, and she has an ACU print purse. I don't see anything wrong with that though.

Response by TSgt Joshua Copeland made Dec 15 at 2014 11:02 AM

2014-12-15T11:02:48-05:00

If it is the "moto" gear sold at the MCSS, I really don't care. My wife has held me up for 14 years of my 16 years. actual uniform items/rank that is a no go. Then again my wife would never do that in the first place. She is proud of the Air Force, she is proud of my service, she is proud to support me (and push me), but doesn't take it as "her own" the way I have seen some spouses (male and female) do.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 15 at 2014 11:05 AM

2014-12-15T11:05:18-05:00

You say spouses don't serve the run the house, that in and of itself is true but who gets the uniform to and from the cleaners. Who picks up every three or four years and move having to start over from scratch at a job, school or making friends. So yes the spouses job is the toughest job in any branch and although they have no rank or are not on contract they are serving just as much as the service member do if they want to wear a pt shirt that can be bought at any surplus store or wear the uniform again bought in a surplus store or on that I'd unserviceable then as long as it has no insignia then who are you to say no. By the way there is no law against wearing the uniform its against wearing the insignia of the military.

Response by PV2 Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 15 at 2014 12:01 PM

2014-12-15T12:01:59-05:00

As a former Army spouse and Army vet, I would never presume to take on my former spouse's rank. He earned that not me. I wear the grey Army PT tshirts for working out, but that is it. I feel since I served I can wear the tshirt. I would NEVER make a purse out of ACUs or BDUs or dye any camo pink for the love of God. That's horrible fashion taste and would so clash with my Coach purse!

Response by CPT Zachary Brooks made Dec 15 at 2014 12:08 PM

2014-12-15T12:08:33-05:00

How else are privates going to get any?

It's like having your girlfriend wear your dog tags (flopping out for all to see) when you are dating.

It's all hilarious to me.

Response by Lt Col Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 15 at 2014 12:44 PM

2014-12-15T12:44:41-05:00

Generally, I think any show of support for our troops, and those that make our service possible is a good thing. It may have been decades ago, but there was a time when service was not necessarily appreciated by the general public. I appreciate the support I've received from my family, and I apprecaite that my children have had to change schools and friends without complaint. I don't get my nose out of joint if they're proud of me, my service, and their indirect support of the US military.

Response by MSG Scott McBride made Dec 15 at 2014 1:03 PM

2014-12-15T13:03:30-05:00

Saying that spouses don't serve is an unfair and ignorant statement. You obviously have an absurd outlook on the importance of spouses, male or female. If you are leading servicemeners, you might to re look at that...Now, I agree that Their are some out there who think they are their spouses rank and think they have power of decisions, that is also ignorant. As far as wearing the clothing for a fashion statement, (not acu purses or handbags, etc) I don't agree with that but there is no law against it (clothing articles only) but what about those musicians who wear digital camo suits? T-pang for example? Leave the spouses out of it.

Response by SMSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 15 at 2014 1:18 PM

2014-12-15T13:18:13-05:00

It's one thing to be supportive, but it's another to feel entitled!

Response by Capt Richard I P. made Dec 15 at 2014 1:49 PM

2014-12-15T13:49:25-05:00

Sgt Sasha Cruz It looks like you were more interested in excoriating these spouses for their behavior than in finding out why they act the way they do. Your original question really hasn't gotten much attention on this discussion, so I'll take a shot at it. First, a disclaimer, my wife doesn't wear Marine Corps gear (with the rare exception of the fleece when we're camping-or a sweatshirt at home), nor does she have any of those silly bumper-stickers or moto shirts etc. and those things irritate us also.

That being said: the reason these significant others likely behave the way they do is out of a sense of vulnerability and a lack of confidence. They feel like their relationship is in danger (statistically it often is-usually due to choices of one partner or another-but sometimes just due to the possibility of traumatic loss) and seek the social payoff of attention, sympathy, and respect to compensate them for it.

The same regime exists for those of us actually in the military. We have very hard lives, we risk much, and we have intangible rewards of respect and adulation heaped on us by the public at large to recompense us for it above and beyond our monetary pay. While their risk, and their sacrifice may or may not equal ours, surely it is greater than that of a spouse married to someone in most any other industry.

I would argue that "boot spouses" act a lot like "boot Marines." They bluster and brag, they wear their statuses on their sleeves (not just in uniform) they seek the public admiration and adulation, and they do it gratingly. More senior and experienced spouses, just like more senior and experienced Marines and leaders have grown into their life and their leadership roles. They have learned how to console grieving widows, and how to advise friends dealing with infidelity (one way or another). They've learned how the deployment cycle, loss, longing, and re-integration go. And as they learn they become publicly quieter, calmer, stronger.

Not all Marines are strong, quiet professionals, but we surely hope as they develop they become such. The same applies to spouses.

You are in a unique position, having experienced both sides of this coin to compare and contrast, if you choose to do so thoughtfully. I challenge you especially (but also Sgt Private RallyPoint Member and all Marine NCO's) to approach it that way, and to leave the mockery and bitterness to those with less experience and leadership potential. A very good book that talks on the topic of the strength required by a military spouse is Gates of Fire by Steven Pressfield (https://www.rallypoint.com/answers/what-is-the-best-professional-military-fiction)

We all like to have a little laugh at those less experienced than us when they act silly (http://terminallance.com/2010/02/26/terminal-lance-16-lol-boots/). But then it is our duty to develop and mentor them.

What is the best professional military fiction? | RallyPoint

Of the options offered? Warning: mentioning the movies without having read the books is a down-votable offense. Offering an alternative professional military fiction is acceptable, but six answers to a survey is not supportable.

Response by SFC Mark Merino made Dec 15 at 2014 2:33 PM

2014-12-15T14:33:37-05:00

My ex just spent all the money I earned from the Army.

Response by CPO Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 15 at 2014 5:27 PM

2014-12-15T17:27:40-05:00

If your wife is half-naked in your uniform why would you post those to a public forum in the first place? Seems like that should be a "private" picture. In the end they need to realize that and stop it. My wife has several pieces of moral gear and she likes to show them off but it definitely stops at my uniform items unless its just us.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 15 at 2014 5:28 PM

2014-12-15T17:28:46-05:00

I have even seen an officer's wife demand that she be saluted by lower enlisted due to the DOD sticker and name on her windshield. She is not the officer and doesn't deserve anything more than the respect she shows, in my opinion.

Response by SGM Erik Marquez made Dec 15 at 2014 5:32 PM

2014-12-15T17:32:39-05:00

Half naked spouses do what ?????

I must be hanging out in the wrong (right?) forums ...lol

And wait... They pose while wearing uniform components and then claim "I serve too" ?

Ok never mind I'm not missing anything worthwhile not being in "those" forums

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 15 at 2014 5:30 PM

2014-12-15T17:30:11-05:00

I agree. I can't stand to see a wife flaunt their husbands service. I can't stand that stupid wanna be sexy horse ****. I found this nugget of joy just googling. It is wrong on so many levels. If that was one of my joes I would have counseled both of them. It looks horrible and why would you show off your nude pregnant wife? What does the AF have to do with anything about it. I have taken photos before. I have never taken a professional photo in ACUs. It is not professional to start off. A dress uniform is what should be worn. i hope you enjoy this photo.

Response by SGT(P) Harry Clyde Jr. made Dec 15 at 2014 9:16 PM

2014-12-15T21:16:42-05:00

During 13 years of being married to the army, my wife would have nothing to do with it. "Thats your buisiness, raising your kids is mine"
The only military thing she wore was a ST Michael pendant but only on days I jumped.
Supported me and Instructed AFTB for a while but otherwise wanted nothing to do with the military.

Response by 1LT Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 15 at 2014 9:21 PM

2014-12-15T21:21:07-05:00

I believe some of these courageous ladies are just supportive of their partners and expressing their appreciation of belonging to the great military family. But now there may be some that are overzealous...

Response by John Russell made Dec 15 at 2014 9:43 PM

2014-12-15T21:43:10-05:00

They served?...Yes! They served pancakes for breakfast in bed with the new boyfriend-on-call while the husband is paying the bills with his life down range while SERVING his country.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 16 at 2014 4:19 AM

2014-12-16T04:19:29-05:00

I can agree on some points like not wearing the flag as clothing, assuming the rank of their serving spouse, or wearing duty uniforms in public, but PT shirts, cammo purses, and even dyed ACU, is not such a big deal. Some of you are hyper-sensitive and it’s that hyper-sensitivity that has us in such a politically correct mess today.

I can even defend that photo with the pregnant woman to a point. It is tastefully done and maybe it was not mention for public display. If it was intentionally posted on facebook or other social media, then that was poor judgment.

Military spouses in general do have it harder than many non-military spouses. I don’t believe they sacrifice more or work harder than the actual SM, but they do at times have it hard. Given that I would cut them a little slack on how they display their pride in being a military spouse.

In summary, lighten up.

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 16 at 2014 8:21 PM

2014-12-16T20:21:55-05:00

Ugh yes! The wrapping your half naked ass in the flag for photos kills me. Classless.

Response by MSgt B Bell made Dec 17 at 2014 1:13 AM

2014-12-17T01:13:57-05:00

If you go back and look at where this originated which was WWII. Pinups and aircraft nose art was hot. They were sexy then and the occasional half naked shot of a beautiful woman wearing a Blues Jacket with a Blues cover are still hot. This discussion is much to do about nothing.

Response by CMSgt Mark Schubert made Dec 17 at 2014 9:06 AM

2014-12-17T09:06:49-05:00

Nobody should feel entitled - it's certainly not a good characteristic to have as a leader - and all of us in military service need to be leaders - both on the job, at home and in the community. I do think having a supportive family is important to achieving military goals. The better you lead your family, the more chance for success you will have in the military. A military spouse serves the military member - and therefore indirectly the service itself - it reminds me of this poem.

"THE SILENT RANKS"

I wear no uniforms, no blues or army greens
But I am in the Army in the ranks rarely seen
I have no rank upon my shoulders - salutes I do not give
But the military world is the place where I live
I'm not in the chain of command, orders I do not get
But my husband is the one who does, this I can not forget
I'm not the one who fires the weapon, who puts my life on the line
But my job is just as tough. I'm the one that's left behind
My husband is a patriot, a brave and prideful man
And the call to serve his country not all can understand
Behind the lines I see the things needed to keep this country free
My husband makes the sacrifice, but so do our kids and me
I love the man I married, Soldiering is his life
But I stand among the silent ranks known as the Army Wife

Author: Unknown
Read more at http://www.scrapbook.com/poems/doc/2445.html#xDzx0eDTdAOeUfJT.99

In any case, I certainly agree spouses do not need to publicly profile themselves as service members!

Poem: The Silent Ranks

I wear no uniforms no blues or army greens But I am in the Army in the ranks rarely seen I have no rank upon my shoulders salutes I do not give But the military world is the place where I live I m not in the chain of command orders I do not get But my hus

Response by SGT K C made Dec 17 at 2014 1:17 PM

2014-12-17T13:17:43-05:00

As someone who has served and been a military spouse I don't have a problem with it at all. Spouses are just trying to be supportive in the only way they can think of. Do they look ridiculous? Absolutely. So do all the military members wearing PT or tan shirts or boots off duty. The truck with the huge EGA plastered on the rear windshield with a thousand military stickers also looks just as dumb. The idea that we, as service members, are superior to our spouses since they did not "earn" the right is absolutely ridiculous. Sports fan's wear their favorite team/players jersey's, people who love their country wear their national flag, people who love a certain band wear the band's logo. If the OP Hdpesnt have a single item of branded clothing then fine. Hate on all those ridiculous spouses. However, it would be better if you chilled the attitude and realized they are just full of love and pride.

Response by PO2 Rick Godejohn made Dec 17 at 2014 2:27 PM

2014-12-17T14:27:24-05:00

As a veteran, and a father of four, I maintain proper display of military items and the flag. I educate my daughters on the importance of reverence and respect, so that as adults they will have that foundation.
It's not the spouse that is at fault. It is the service member that is not properly policing his or her gear.

Response by SPC Tanya Simmons made Dec 17 at 2014 2:58 PM

2014-12-17T14:58:38-05:00

I think it should be also said that it isn’t just wives or girlfriends who do it. I have been in the company of men who wear their girl’s uniforms and rank. They flash it off as their own until asked about it and then claim they wear it to support their girl. I had a boyfriend ask me to have some old uniforms so her could wear them and I wouldn’t let him, but a lot of military women let the person they are with do it.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 17 at 2014 3:16 PM

2014-12-17T15:16:06-05:00

I think you are misinterpreting the spouses intentions.

Response by SPC David S. made Dec 17 at 2014 4:07 PM

2014-12-17T16:07:21-05:00

Before I make a formal judgement I would need to see these half naked, scantily clad photos that you speak of. All kidding aside spouses do endure some really sucky hardships not found typical of a civilian lifestyle. A friend of mine was KIA and left a wife with two kids to raise. I know this is not exactly what you're talking about and while I do get what your saying and were you're coming from if she wants to were a SF t-shirt for sentimental purposes by all means I feel her husband has earned her that right. So some are due a little slack as they either have supported or are supporting a member in service. However to the less deserving offenders send me those awful pictures.

Response by Capt James Clement made Dec 17 at 2014 4:38 PM

2014-12-17T16:38:52-05:00

Sgt Cruz, I think the answer to your question is that many people have lost respect for military service. I think what you are describing is a symptom of that. I would never, ever wear Sgt's Chevrons on my arm because I respect what they represent and know that I haven't earned them.

Today, there is very little that can be considered "sacred." We are taught from a young age to question all authority in all forms and that has bread what in my opinion is a systemic lack of esteem for anything.

I like to compare what you are talking about to the "everyone is a winner" mentality that is forced on our children in school. If everyone is a winner, then no one is, and no one respects those who achieve - hence why someone might think they could wear Sgt's Chevrons without earning them.

Even worse, I see some very disturbing "social experiments" being conducted in the military today that play no role whatsoever in improving our armed forces ability to fight and win our nation's battles - and like it or not, the average american sees that and it only reinforces their lack of respect. The military is supposed to be different from everyone else and I fear that is slowly becoming just another government job controlled by politicians.

And that is the ultimate disrespect to Marines like you - and all other services/veterans.

Response by SrA Debbie Mead made Dec 17 at 2014 4:53 PM

2014-12-17T16:53:24-05:00

I don't get it either I am a veteran and a active duty spouse, but I don't wear any of the gear. I just don't have the desire to wear it and the idea of draping a flag over me naked I find that is disrespecting the flag. I have tried to interact with other military spouses and I just get annoyed with most of them. And i find that the ones that don't work are the ones who usually wear the gear.

Response by TSgt Gerald Wilson made Dec 17 at 2014 4:59 PM

2014-12-17T16:59:40-05:00

Emphatically agree that there are wrong photos out there and plenty of stupid judgment. Moreover I applaud you for not joining the self-entitled and lazy wives club. However, I suggest, after my 19 years with many hundreds of days gone from my family, we DO serve together. NONE of this play-war-stuff would happen without mom (usually) handling the home and a thousand other odious duties with zero recognition or applause. And, she often does it alone on another continent with no support and all the usual BS obstructions from the hospital, finance, housing, TMO etc... Some of the fliers wives will wear our Nomex or leather jackets with "sweetheart wings" for spouse incentive flights, unit functions...maybe holding hands in the commissary. That is simply a gesture which says. "you're part of this, mom." I'm sure sticklers for the uniform regs disapprove - usually the same rear-echelon types yelling about reflective belts in broad daylight in the desert.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 17 at 2014 5:08 PM

2014-12-17T17:08:13-05:00

I believe all spouses serve the military just in a different way. They give up many things when we leave and for those of us with kids they are left to answer the endless questions of when is daddy or mommy coming home. I think you are putting two totally different things together.

Response by Cpl Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 17 at 2014 7:14 PM

2014-12-17T19:14:14-05:00

I personally hate it when spouses are almost naked with some kind of military uniform or even worse, the American Flag.

Response by PO2 Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 17 at 2014 7:45 PM

2014-12-17T19:45:53-05:00

Hats off to those of us who's significant other rate their own uniforms!

Response by SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 17 at 2014 7:50 PM

2014-12-17T19:50:47-05:00

I would imagine it is "immense pride' that makes spouses want to wear militaria. I am certainly okay if my wife wants to slip into my blouse...she deserves to feel a little pride.

Imagine this...your spouse goes through life seeing you respected, and thanked for your military service, all the while, the spouse gets little recognition, that would get old.

I think a little wearing of paraphernalia is totally appropriate. I'm not sure why you let it get to you.

Marines are a different breed, and we do take serious pride in who is called a Marine, and who is not.

However, a spouse deserves a little recognition, if my spouse wants to play around the house in just my top...I'm totally down. I wouldn't let her wear it out in town with fish-net stocking, although, that might be hot, and some day I may have to ask her to try that. Until then Sgt, chill, and let the spouse bathe in the glory of wearing the uniform, even if it is just for a few minutes.

Response by SSG Tim Everett made Dec 18 at 2014 12:09 AM

2014-12-18T00:09:40-05:00

I had a wife whilst I was in -- she had ETS'd. She knew better.

Response by SSG Peter Muse made Dec 18 at 2014 2:25 AM

2014-12-18T02:25:26-05:00

I think the blame here goes squarely on the military member to educate the spouse on uniform do's and don'ts. Also depends what uniform items we're talking about as not everything is considered official if worn a certain way. I wouldn't want my spouse wearing a jacket or a cap with crests or patches but there probably isn't anything wrong with it or with them having pride in the units we were assigned to...again.. there are limits and a whole lot of taste goes into it. Pick your battles, not everything should get your dander up.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 18 at 2014 9:57 AM

2014-12-18T09:57:05-05:00

SGT I understand your feelings, however my spouse has run the household during two deployments the first was 15 month the second only 12. She did something similar to what you are referencing. It was more to motivate me and to let me know she was proud of what we where doing. She worked hard raising four other children while seven months pregnant. She is amazingly strong and a great helper. While your experiences with some dependapotimus may have soured your attitude; for some of us who have been gone for 11 months before we get to see our loved ones again it can help break up the lonliness. I would argue with managing the kids, household, bills and our small farm she did have a much tougher job than I did herding 55 Joes.

Response by SSG Mannix Brooks made Dec 18 at 2014 11:41 AM

2014-12-18T11:41:46-05:00

No they shouldn't but you can only control what goes on at the base. Off post or base behavior is another issue. One thing is do not sell it to them at the exchanges and it will discourage some of this plus rules against it on the installation can curb it too. Military members have to uphold an image and it's not a good look when someone who does not serve is wearing gear meant for military members without respect for it nor any idea how and why certain items are worn the way they are. Serving in the military is federal service so all gear should be treated the same way as it is in other federal departments.

Response by SGT Zila Winstead made Dec 18 at 2014 2:22 PM

2014-12-18T14:22:24-05:00

There are two ways you can go about this:

One, yes you can believe that they may make that statement out of ignorance, as if they suffer and endure PTSD, or any military problems.. but then there is also..

Two, they serve by having to endure long deployments without their service member, they have to move away from families, they don't get to stay at the same location and be long-lasting with their co-workers, or whatever.

I think going at it negatively and taking it personal is not the right way. There will always be those type of spouses who make the term "I serve too" a negative outlook but there are some good ones as well. I'm not saying you can't express your feelings or opinion about it, but just look at the bigger picture.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 18 at 2014 6:44 PM

2014-12-18T18:44:47-05:00

I don't have an issue with it long as it's with the right intent. But I see your point.

Response by TSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 18 at 2014 9:21 PM

2014-12-18T21:21:43-05:00

My wife serves right beside me so this is not an issue here. She is Air Transport and I am Aircrew. She only wears the uniform according to regulation and honors the uniform when wearing it.

Response by PFC Dan Martin made Dec 19 at 2014 12:11 AM

2014-12-19T00:11:46-05:00

Army spouse is a really hard job. It has a 99% wash out rate. Spending a deployment with legs closed damn near deserves a medal.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 19 at 2014 6:18 AM

2014-12-19T06:18:44-05:00

Coming from Active Duty in an infantry unit, I agree wives do not understand exactly what it means to serve and shouldn't be allowed to wear their spouses uniforms. Having said that, wives do sacrifice a lot more than people think. While in Ft Lewis, my wife left her family, job, friends, etc to be with me. She was their with nobody but supported me every step of the way. No my cars were not covered in stupid "Army Wife" stickers, but she deserves a lot of respect for keeping me motivated and moving forward.

Response by PFC Zanie Young made Dec 22 at 2014 2:18 PM

2014-12-22T14:18:30-05:00

Sgt Sasha Cruz, go ahead and lose it, because it won't end. Until these women get off their duffs and serve, I would smoke the service members who allow that kind of behavior. If it were me, I would find and shoot that guy who made the internet public... Not meant for the women who are serving or have served, just the wanna-bes...

Response by SPC Leisel Luman made Dec 23 at 2014 11:50 AM

2014-12-23T11:50:00-05:00

It irks me so see anyone wearing parts of AD uniform. The only exceptions are: (1)Veterans at ceremonial functions.
(2) I love to see the old vets at the va proudly wearing pins and patches on their hats it reminds us of their service in their time period. The price of freedom is very evident there. Respectfully this is only my opinion from my frame of reference.

Response by SSgt Dennis Dillon made Dec 25 at 2014 11:22 AM

2014-12-25T11:22:47-05:00

I would rather see an attractive female wrapped up in the flag then some asshole burning it in Fergusion!! Sgt USMC

Response by SGM Erik Marquez made Dec 26 at 2014 11:17 AM

2014-12-26T11:17:58-05:00

"Why do spouses insist on wearing uniform items that they didn't earn? Better yet, why are the military members letting them?"

Define Earn?
Define uniform item...

Is a uniform item still a uniform item when it is not being worn by a service member?> Or is it then just clothing and accessories?

I will assume for the sake of discussion we are not talking stolen valor and a spouse wearing military uniform items for the sake of posing as one.

My wife, a former Us Army member, has no desire to wear my uniform items, she had her own... But I will say... after many deployments with me gone many dozens of training events that had me gone, PDSS trips, Site survey trips, service schools, late nights, walking out the door in the morning and not coming home for days trips...help studying this or another.. To say my wife is not an integral part of my military career is false.

If she wanted to wear my fleece (no rank, no Us Army) I have no issue. If she wanted to wear my old BDU or ACU top around the house.. go for it...Army PT T shirt? Sure why not.

Would I feel ok with her wearing my ASU's to Walmart.. well of course not(actually Id prefer she not go to Walmart at all....)

Half naked wearing my ACU top....hmmm, I'll let you know how I feel about that after the weekend.. but NO there will not be video or pictures.

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 26 at 2014 7:14 PM

2014-12-26T19:14:32-05:00

I disagree whole heartedly with some of this post. The uniform portion I got, my wife doesn't wear uniformed items, so no issue with that. She wanted an ACU purse, I advised her not to simply because of the ridicule she'll receive for something as innocent as wanting to support what I do. In my opinion Wives and families serve too, you even said so in your original post, "running the home". It's all about support. Wives and families face hardships during deployments, late work nights, training exercises, you name it. It maybe different types of hardships, but hardships still nonetheless. If you're used to living a two parent lifestyle then one deploys, what was accomplished by two is now being accomplished by one. That in itself places strain and stress on our wives and husbands that those outside of the military rarely have to deal with. No, my wife isn't in the military, but to down play her role in supporting what I do, won't fly with me. I wouldn't be able to focus on my job without knowing she has everything in control at home. And if you think about all that goes into ensuring the home and my kids are taken care of, it's a physical and psychological toll that many don't respect, recognize, and not at all understand, (especially by some of the comments I've seen on this page). Think what you want, my wife serves by supporting me and ensuring that I have nothing to worry about when I'm not there. That, to me is vital and invaluable.

Response by PO3 Maria Flasher made Dec 26 at 2014 10:08 PM

2014-12-26T22:08:36-05:00

As a former service member I cannot fathom why military spouses feel they have some sort of entitlement to their spouse's rank. As a military spouse I cannot understand the reasoning behind this either. I am extremely proud of my husband but I am just as proud of what I accomplished while active duty. I just wish they'd get over themselves and realize how selfish they're being when being a spouse of an armed forces member is meant to be one of selfless sacrifice and honorable servitude.

Response by MAJ Wayne Smith made Dec 27 at 2014 10:10 AM

2014-12-27T10:10:55-05:00

Two separate issues. Bringing both issues togother create more conflict. These signs of support should be private just like conversation about non classified work activities.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 27 at 2014 11:16 AM

2014-12-27T11:16:28-05:00

Response by Sgt David Garcia made Dec 27 at 2014 12:28 PM

2014-12-27T12:28:20-05:00

Do not care

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 27 at 2014 12:28 PM

2014-12-27T12:28:25-05:00

I'm going to add that the only part of this that truly gets my back up is the 'army/whatever branch wife, toughest job in the army/whatever branch. '. I'm aware that it's not terrible but personally it annoys the crap out of me.

Response by SGT Leonard Harrison made Dec 27 at 2014 12:32 PM

2014-12-27T12:32:03-05:00

I do believe military spouses make sacrifices. But this young woman's statement is dead on.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 27 at 2014 5:09 PM

2014-12-27T17:09:14-05:00

That has got to be the biggest pile of crap I have ever heard come from a soldiers mouth. I am a fifteen year veteran and my wife has been with me for most of it. She has helped me study and prepare for more boards and classes than any of my fellow soldiers. So I would say that she has served too. Your soouse may be lazy and nonsupportive but mine isn't. Keep that in mind before you open your mouth again.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 27 at 2014 8:05 PM

2014-12-27T20:05:03-05:00

Where's the half naked pics?

Response by CSM Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 28 at 2014 7:10 AM

2014-12-28T07:10:07-05:00

Because they are in control at home

Response by Cpl Jim Pope made Dec 28 at 2014 1:10 PM

2014-12-28T13:10:12-05:00

Really? Get over your self. You think a wife who take a sex picture in their husbands blouse is trying or acting entitled? Very very few say they served. I don't understand you saying they insist on wearing uniform. Do you think the wife takes the pic the goes to grocery store dressed like that? They are doing something they think is nice for there man. When your husband leaves and your taking care of house you should send him a picture like this and bet he loves it. And u don't expect you'll be trying steal his glory or something. They will think you love you man.

Response by SPC Erica Simonsen made Dec 28 at 2014 3:06 PM

2014-12-28T15:06:04-05:00

As a prior service member who is married to an active duty member, I just don't get the whole thing of wearing SMs uniforms. Not at all. I don't even wear any of MY old Army uniforms.

You don't see spouses of UPS, FEDEX, McDonald's, Police Officers, Firemen, EMTs, ect wearing their uniforms to the commissary, grocery store, Wally World, etc, but tons of military spouses wearing their soldiers uniforms, and I don't mean the Exchange ones, but actually issued ones. *SMH*

Response by PO2 Tim Elliott made Dec 28 at 2014 4:01 PM

2014-12-28T16:01:50-05:00

My Ex -wife tells every one that she served. She wasn't involved in any thing military related functions. She was very racist towards other. Very hard to live with. But now she tries to get vet discounts. I agree with your post

Response by LCpl Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 28 at 2014 4:19 PM

2014-12-28T16:19:48-05:00

Posting photos like that on the internet, I have to agree. Spouses should not post those photos publicly. Originally their intent was to keep their spouse motivated during hard times. Very personal photos like that should not be shared.

Response by Sgt Heath Olliv made Dec 28 at 2014 4:23 PM

2014-12-28T16:23:04-05:00

Well, make dependas take a class on how not to disrespect. Start repremanding or council.

Response by SFC Dave Piper made Dec 28 at 2014 7:27 PM

2014-12-28T19:27:00-05:00

I think that my wife has given up just as much as I have / did. So if she wants to put on my blouse it doesn't bother me at all.. As for the Flag it is her flag as much as it is mine. I don't ever remember reading in the doctrine of our flag that doesn't say anything about wrapping up in the flag is disrespectful.. My wife is far from being self entitled lazy.

Response by TSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 28 at 2014 8:39 PM

2014-12-28T20:39:16-05:00

I agree with you except for the flag/ uniform thing. Wearing your husband's blouse or just a flag in a Boudouir shoot isn't claiming to have earned anything. Now, if they say crap like they earned their spouse's rank, that's a WHOLE other ball game.

Response by CPL James Howerton made Dec 28 at 2014 8:48 PM

2014-12-28T20:48:58-05:00

No problem

Response by SN Brian Riter made Dec 28 at 2014 9:10 PM

2014-12-28T21:10:49-05:00

We had a chick that was married to the supply officer here at command fleet activities Yokosuka scream at a petty officer demanding that the petty officer salute her because her husband is the suppo of the base I nearly died when I heard this story

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 28 at 2014 9:09 PM

2014-12-28T21:09:11-05:00

I believe military spouses deserve their recognition, serving, obviously, in a much different way. However, a military spouse who demands recognition is just as disgraceful as a service member demanding recognition. I would not demand it but I do appreciate it. Prior to my service I worked in EMS. If I stopped somewhere which I knew have a discount to us, I would never think to ask for the discount.
To the question, you may find it offensive in some way but one cannot be narrow minded towards the general public. If they are wearing the flag in a way that is artistic or beautiful, I would think it patriotic and would rather they wear it with pride than burn it with ignorance.
I also agree with a previous comment, that some are also young in their new military/military spouse life and careers. They are doing what they feel is flattering in it's own light.

Response by PO2 James Hayes made Dec 28 at 2014 10:58 PM

2014-12-28T22:58:32-05:00

I agree but then disagree too. I believe in proper etiquette of the uniform and flag. My wife was never in a forward area or over seas or even taken an oath but she has definitely served with me! There are worse things than being shot at.

Response by Cpl Wayne Dillon made Dec 28 at 2014 11:04 PM

2014-12-28T23:04:42-05:00

The spouse serve as much as the service member

Response by GySgt Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 29 at 2014 1:05 AM

2014-12-29T01:05:22-05:00

For one, your a reserve Marine Spouse, try waking a day in an active duty Marine spouse's shoes. For two, how about you hold everything together, run a household with kids and no help from the service member who is deployed and then be told you don't do anything to benefit or support the service member. A spouse who wears her husband's rank, blouse, uniform is showing pride in what he does, who cares if you don't like it. You obviously have too much time between your one weekend a month and your 2 weeks a year to worry about what the rest of us do with our spouses. My wife hasn't put on a single thread of my uniforms and she uses my rank which she supported me to get, to help the junior spouses and help in family readiness. I'm proud to see my wife sport unit logos that I being to, it let's me know the most important person in my life had my back, and if she wants to put on my blouse then so be it.

Response by SSG Richard Mitchell made Dec 29 at 2014 2:26 AM

2014-12-29T02:26:28-05:00

JUST DON'T DO IT

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 29 at 2014 3:43 AM

2014-12-29T03:43:04-05:00

As has been stated by many already on here, I believe that my spouse is serving just as much if not more than I am.

Right now, I'm in the Middle East, sleeping on a cozy bed uninterrupted and pretty much doing as I please in my free time, while she is at home as a single mother raising two kids (4 and 1). Bottom line, there is no way I would be able to serve my country without her service as well. Sure, she isn't getting shot at, but believe me, her job is far tougher than mine, and I know for a fact that if the roles were reversed, I'd be in way over my head trying to be a single father raising two kids right now.

As for spouses that are draped in a flag, lets get real. You don't see spouses wearing the flag out in public. Chances are, they took some "motivational" pics for their significant other, and that is fine by me, same for "motivational" pics spouses take in their Soldiers uniforms. What happened was, you found some pics that never should have made it online, private pics, and now your upset.

Wearing a serviceable blouse out in public with name/rank/hooah badges I would agree is a no-go. Also, I've been in 11 years now, I've never seen a spouse demand a salute. While I'm sure it's happened before, I'd make a bet that the vast majority of us have never seen that happen, but online a good story is a good story.

Spouses "wearing" their husband's rank is a more tricky subject. On one hand, a spouse shouldn't feel entitled or privileged based off of her/his Soldier's rank. On the other hand, I do believe (my experiences as an Officer) that your spouse does need to be a positive reflection of not only them, but of you as well, and I do believe that the command/Soldiers will notice if they are not--could lead to negative situations down the road.

And as for lumping spouses who support their Soldiers and calling them "Self-entitled lazy...", well, I'm just going to politely say that I believe you are wrong on the path you are headed down.

Response by SGT Chad Holmes made Dec 29 at 2014 6:21 AM

2014-12-29T06:21:10-05:00

Most of these chicks feel entitled. This has been a debate for a long time officers wife's feel that they need to be saluted and so on. I have always said if the military wanted you to have a spouse they would issue us one. Grow a pair and put your spouse in check.

Response by SSG Marshal Carrier made Dec 29 at 2014 9:25 AM

2014-12-29T09:25:01-05:00

When I was still in I had spouses come in to my dfac attempting to throw around their spouses rank. THAT drove me bonkers. wearing the uniform and parading around like you're something special is another bs move. I'm assuming the flag thing is them trying to be Betty page or some other pinup, I can see if its just for your spouse but on fb thinking you're going to cause a stir...please get over yourself. That whole I serve too crap reminds me of the we are pregnant crap, unless you have a fetus in both of you, no. Same for the I serve too crap.

Response by SGT Andrea Therrien made Dec 29 at 2014 11:29 AM

2014-12-29T11:29:44-05:00

I find it pretty hilarious, how defensive some people are getting over this! It seems to me that the majority of the defensive comments are coming from the husbands of the same types of spouses you are talking about lol! I really hope you aren't taking these personally because you and I know first hand that these types of women usually act this way when their husbands aren't around to see their despicable behavior, making their comments null and void anyway lol. No they didn't sign up for this? Sorry but they did when they chose to marry a Soldier! If anything the children are the ones who "serve", they are the only ones that didn't choose this life!

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 29 at 2014 11:44 AM

2014-12-29T11:44:50-05:00

I do agree with you on almost all of it - but civilians do some messed up things all the time. However, pin up can be a motivational tool but should be kept more private.

This topic reminds me of all the "Just the Tip, Wook, POG" facebook pages putting people on blast haha.

Response by PO3 Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 29 at 2014 11:48 AM

2014-12-29T11:48:25-05:00

i know right.......

Response by PO3 Chasity Perez Parada made Dec 29 at 2014 12:12 PM

2014-12-29T12:12:33-05:00

I believe the whole problem here is that they are young.

Response by PO3 Shannon Taylor made Dec 29 at 2014 1:28 PM

2014-12-29T13:28:53-05:00

I met a few spouses after I returned from deployment. They made me sick when they talked about how "hard" they had it. So many of them want to use their spouse's rank to act like the world owes them too.

Response by PFC Lea Armstrong made Dec 29 at 2014 2:40 PM

2014-12-29T14:40:22-05:00

First I think it's pretty disrespectful for any spouse to be draped half naked in the American flag. I did come across many spouses that felt entitled because of their husband/wife's rank. I've also had the unfortunate pleasure of having to deal with those spouses who had a little bit of "power" by volunteering to be a part of the "family support group" or whatever. It's incredibly frustrating to deal with people like them. I've been a soldier and the wife of a soldier. I have to say it was difficult waiting on him. To find out if/when he would come home. Raising children alone. I'm not saying it's the toughest job because it's much harder to be in a war torn country, not knowing if you're going to make it home. But, it is a give and take. By no means does that mean I feel like spouses deserve to use their spouses rank and should be garnered the same respect because they shouldn't. Gaining respect comes from standing back and allowing your spouse the accolades they deserve without trying to take away from it.

Response by PFC Pamala (Hall) Foster made Dec 29 at 2014 3:04 PM

2014-12-29T15:04:01-05:00

OK, here are my 2 cents:

First of all- I am a veteran of the US Army and have seen alot of BS and heard it too. One time I was wearing my jacket and told by someone to take it off- soon as they said that I pulled out my ID and they shut the H### up and walked away, lowered head and eyes. Wearing a uniform component is NOT for civilians- it is a UNIFORM not a fashion accessory. I still to this day wear ARMY shirts and sweats as a sign of honor to my brothers and sisters-I EARNED THAT RIGHT!!! But to drape yourself in the flag naked-that is DISRESPECT!!!!! If I was an NCO, I would write you up and smoke you to the last breath for that; my family has fought since the Revolution for the Flag of The United States.

Second, if you want a 'bedroom photo' then get one, but do NOT post for the world to see, it is to be between you and your spouse-not you, your spouse and the world. I haven't done one and never will.

Third, Spouses, you didn't EARN the rank, your spouse did, so stay out of the lane you don't belong in. Let the NCO/Soldier handle discipline of troops, it is NOT your job. WE respect you cause you are keeping the home, family and morale high and for that I salute and respect you. Yes, there are dual rank homes where both are military, but in single military homes, leave troop discipline to the soldier please...cause if not, it could maybe lead to court martial in certain commands and morale descimation at the least.

Support is one thing, but come on and think about how far is too far.

Response by SGT Chris Hill made Dec 29 at 2014 10:19 PM

2014-12-29T22:19:33-05:00

I agree that it's extremely annoying to see anyone non military to wear our uniform items, unless it's the common pt shirt (typical thing guys give to their ladies).

I have seen army wives wearing the fleece with "army wife" name tape and the rank said "don't confuse your rank with my authority". I saw this in yongsan in Korea at the dragon hill lodge shopette.

Her husband was a PFC and I asked him if he felt that it was wrong in any way that she's wearing that. He told me no because she bought it online so it's hot his issued fleece. I then told him that it may draw attention from someone who isn't so nice about it, so consider my words as cautionary.

So I'd have to say it is wrong, but there's nothing we can do to the civilians doing this, so it's just something we must bite out tongues and walk away. That or speak up and attempt to put a bug in their ears.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 29 at 2014 11:06 PM

2014-12-29T23:06:00-05:00

It don't matter to me if spouses wear the "I was there T-shirts or the uniform parts. I agree with a few people who posted here. It is when spouses think they are the rank of their other half. I had a wife of a commander's wife tell me I needed to stand at a attention when I spoke to her. In fact its attitudes like that, the Family Readiness Groups are failing.

Response by Cpl Christopher Peter made Dec 29 at 2014 11:06 PM

2014-12-29T23:06:07-05:00

If that gives support to spouses and attractive pictures to military men, seriously who cares. There's plenty of ignorant people in the military too. I know more SELF-ENTITLED people in the military than in the civilian world.
Their not walking the streets in uniforms faking combat action ribbons and Purple Hearts.
Your degree of difficulty and struggles might be different than those of other spouses.
I don't compare my Infantry experiences in Iraq to your experiences or your self entitlements.

Response by SPC Crystal Griggs made Dec 30 at 2014 2:48 AM

2014-12-30T02:48:23-05:00

I do not think that anyone's spouse she wear their uniform because if you haven't earned it you don't deserve to wear it

Response by CPL Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 30 at 2014 2:43 PM

2014-12-30T14:43:29-05:00

Yea that shit bugs the hell outta me. Like 200 lbs Wifey walking around in jeans n a PT shirt. Like wtf?

Response by PO1 John Mansfield made Dec 30 at 2014 6:21 PM

2014-12-30T18:21:09-05:00

Lighten up Francis

Response by GySgt Nathan Kump made Dec 30 at 2014 7:30 PM

2014-12-30T19:30:26-05:00

It's not just boot wives. I had a light birds wife get into it wife my wife when shopping. "I'm ltCol so and so's wife," as if she has shine on her shoulder. Jess was a feisty lady, she didn't go for that.

Response by 1SG Robert Flint made Dec 30 at 2014 8:01 PM

2014-12-30T20:01:15-05:00

I feel as long as no uniform is or has unit insignia, rank, name, any affiliation I'm ok with it. I have an army green fleece jacket and if my wife wore it I would be ok since there is nothing on it.

Response by SPC Mike Torello made Dec 30 at 2014 8:13 PM

2014-12-30T20:13:42-05:00

I defended the first ammendment just the same so I can say/ask this. Why do I see soldiers on face book off base wearing acu? I read they are authorize for events. Is the class a uniform no longer part of the army? WWF wrestling show soldiers in duty uniform. Last I remember, Basic and AIT,Civilian clothes were not aloud. Rangers to me wear black berets. I am old school.

Response by SGT Stephen Smith made Dec 31 at 2014 5:49 AM

2014-12-31T05:49:14-05:00

Not sure how I feel. If the pic is tasteful and doesn't disrespect the uniform of flag. I guess it's ok

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 31 at 2014 6:17 AM

2014-12-31T06:17:04-05:00

My wife said that we made staff one time and laughing I said "oh really, when did you enlist." She wasn't happy but I told her that it was disrespectful in my opinion.

Response by LCpl Christopher Leonard made Dec 31 at 2014 9:04 AM

2014-12-31T09:04:00-05:00

When I served my now ex wife wore a set of my cammies, and was immediately told to take them off because she was NOT a marine and that she didn't deserve to wear the uniform. Then I was chastised for the same offense saying I needed to control my wife. I was overseas at the time and had no control. I agree that military spouses need to NOT wear the uniform or pieces of it if they do not serve in the military. The same goes for the children of military members.

Response by SSgt Thomas Crosser Jr. made Dec 31 at 2014 10:25 AM

2014-12-31T10:25:24-05:00

And because I like stirring the pot, let me tell you all something I did. During GW-1, both my father and I, reservists, him Navy, me Marines, volunteered to go. Dad was put on Stand-By, while I was recalled to Camp Pendleton. As I had been assigned to Range 214 at Camp Horno while on active duty, the Corps sent me back to Range Control to help out with the enormous amount of Rifle Quals that needed to get done. Prior to departing my home AO, my father and I each removed one of our metal collar rank insignia's and gave it to the other. As I arrived at the range each morning, I discreetly pinned his black rank to a black portion at the rear of my woodland cover. It was almost invisible, but it was there. I never wore it off the range, but it was there. No one ever noticed. Pops put my Cpl. chevrons on his ships ball cap in the same position.

Well, almost no one. Marine Gunners, ie, Chief Warrant Officer 5's don't miss much, and the Gunner who ran the range caught me and stood me tall. Cpl Crosser, what the.......... I explained what it was and why I was wearing it, gave him a very brief history of my fathers service in Vietnam, and told him I did not leave the range with it on. After that, I awaited my imminent demise. What I got was one of the warmest smiles I have ever seen on another person. He shook my hand, told me to give my father his best and finished with "Carry On".

I figured though that I had better be a little more discreet, and for the remainder of my time, I kept the rank in my left breast pocket. Dad retired after 30 years combined Active and Reserves. After 9/11, when I was again on active duty, I took that rank insignia and affixed it to my LBV. It was my good luck charm, and connected me to my father and his service, a constant reminder of where I came from and the honor it was to serve.

I fully expect to receive plenty of backlash for this posting, however, my daughter, currently a young sailor, carries one of my rank insignia's with her. The tradition of service continues.

Response by LCpl Jesse Robinson made Dec 31 at 2014 11:44 AM

2014-12-31T11:44:37-05:00

I am a Marine Vet and a AF Spouse! It seems to me the Female spouses feel more entitled then male spouses.

Response by SGT Rob Eustice made Dec 31 at 2014 12:28 PM

2014-12-31T12:28:16-05:00

I feel that wearing your spouses rank is disrespectful to those that actually serve. Yes, they deserve acknowledgement when FAITHFULLY supporting their SM. However I have seen spouses that think because they are married to a 2LT they should be saluted. And to that I say GFY!

Response by Cpl Taylor Moser made Dec 31 at 2014 8:45 PM

2014-12-31T20:45:31-05:00

a girl friend or wife naked with a part of a marine corps uniform is fucking hot

Response by PO3 Stephen Evans made Dec 31 at 2014 9:10 PM

2014-12-31T21:10:53-05:00

There is a certain amount of kinship with wearing your significant others' clothes or making a sense of connection. I think it is ok provided it is not done in an insulting way. I thoroughly understand the sense of pride with the proper wearing of an earned uniform, but a civilian does not have to abide by the same rules we do. Self expression, pride, and freedom are what we all have fought for. I cannot concur with any type of rule that causes anything like censorship for our civilian families. Let the communists and fascists pull that. Finally, NO SPOUSE should be saying that their service is the same as being in a forward area, but I know that many veterans would agree with the sentiment.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 3 at 2015 5:02 PM

2015-01-03T17:02:55-05:00

Some just want attention

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 3 at 2015 5:31 PM

2015-01-03T17:31:37-05:00

Why would it bother you!!!

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 3 at 2015 7:44 PM

2015-01-03T19:44:46-05:00

The gf are the worst. My goodness

Response by SSG Dirk Baker made Jan 4 at 2015 5:11 AM

2015-01-04T05:11:05-05:00

I know a few spouses that feel they are entitled to say they served with there husbands. I've argued with them until blue in the face. They just don't understand!!!!

Response by LT Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 4 at 2015 8:08 AM

2015-01-04T08:08:35-05:00

The sacrifice they go through on deployment is unlike anything other families have to go through in this country, it is indeed special and remarkable. Doing everything with a family of 6 while I am deployed for 10 months from school, extracurriculars, etc all by herself is nothing short of amazing. It is absolutely an act of selfless service what she does. You can say things without trying to take away the enormity of what they do for us.

Response by A1C Steve Cornell made Jan 4 at 2015 11:30 AM

2015-01-04T11:30:59-05:00

same reason we Sulted the wife of some officers and said "sorry we did not know". just to shut them up!!!

Response by SSG Trevor S. made Jan 4 at 2015 2:42 PM

2015-01-04T14:42:23-05:00

While I agree with you about wearing un-earned uniform items I will have to part with you about spouses being "Self-entitled lazy....." I completely respect the way many of the spouses:
1. Became un-credited project managers, ensuring mail was sent to our troops, the home was upgraded or even moved to meet the needs of a greedy military that decided to send their significant other on PCS in conjunction with a school, ...
2. Learned the art of social support, helping those less experienced military spouses deal with a job where half of their support structure went away right after raising the household responsibility level by a child
3. Busted their knuckles assembling furniture, fixing pipes, and figuring out all those handy man items they used to put on a "honey-do list"
4. Became an un-licensed child therapist while dealing with their own feelings that result from long separations

I don't think they deserve our uniform items, but I don't know if I would want to lace up their boots for ruck march.

Response by AA Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 4 at 2015 8:33 PM

2015-01-04T20:33:52-05:00

I don't really tell people I'm a navy wife but if people ever find out they always tell me "thank you and your husband for you service" and it really bothers me... Because I'm not the one serving. My husband is. He's the one who earned the uniform and fights our country and not me.

Response by Sgt Richard Martin made Jan 4 at 2015 11:44 PM

2015-01-04T23:44:47-05:00

I will say this that my wife has worn my blues blouse a couple of times before when we lived in NC. However, I was not a dumb idiot about it and took pictures and posted them on the internet. PERIOD!!!!!

Response by PO2 Nicholas Mann made Jan 5 at 2015 12:31 AM

2015-01-05T00:31:49-05:00

My spouse is AD Army and I'm a Navy vet so I wouldn't be caught dead wearing any of that ugly nonsense. :p The only thing I still wear are the PT shorts and my old OCS t-shirts that's the USMC OCS from when I was stationed at the Bradley clinic. That color green is acceptable.

Response by PFC Gage Cantrell made Jan 5 at 2015 4:01 AM

2015-01-05T04:01:16-05:00

Sorry but your being ridiculous and your self entitled pride and ego piss me off. Sorry marine but you are not better than any american in our great world. You should not feel better than them in any way. What you have is more honor than most Americans by being a marine. That's it don't act like your a better person because that doesn't make a team. You need to learn which side your on if you think its wrong to support that beautiful flag any way you can

Response by CPO Ron Edwards made Jan 6 at 2015 9:44 AM

2015-01-06T09:44:45-05:00

I think your getting your panties in a wad over nothing,...I see nothing wrong with a Husband or wife being proud of their spouses service,....as long as they arent Disrespectful of that service it's their own business what pictures they take or choose to display.

Response by MSgt Mike Haynes made Jan 6 at 2015 10:11 AM

2015-01-06T10:11:13-05:00

Better question for you. Why should the spouse (non military) be entitled to the veterans pension after a divorce?

Response by SSG Thomas Bodnar made Jan 6 at 2015 2:01 PM

2015-01-06T14:01:41-05:00

though spouces do not sighn a contract they do have a part in that military partners Moral ,they help run the home raise the kids send him packages when hes deployed ,and what better thing to come back to the barrex while deployed and get that sented letter from your spouce with a sexy photo of them in or with a piece of your clothing !and if your a lifer and that spouce has been at your side all that time yes they do have a sort of intitlement !

Response by PO3 Michael Missey made Jan 6 at 2015 2:04 PM

2015-01-06T14:04:36-05:00

It makes the women feel close to there spouse like Waring there t-shirt to sleep in

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 6 at 2015 2:37 PM

2015-01-06T14:37:20-05:00

It drives me nuts, especially when they try to cover up by saying they serve too. I approached a...volumptuous woman in Walmart the other day and politely asked that she not wear the PT shirt unless she was prior military. She claimed she was. I apologized for the mistake and asked her what her MOS was. Her reply was that she worked in a top secret base at the north pole....

Response by FN Yvonne Belisle made Jan 6 at 2015 2:45 PM

2015-01-06T14:45:15-05:00

As both a vet and an ex military wife I have seen it as well. My friend lived in housing and after dealing with her friends there I swore I would never live in a military housing unit. I ended up in one at one point and didn't socialize. I was still welcome at my friends house after I tore some of her friends a new one but chose not to when she was having any kind of party. When her friends first learned I was another military spouse they tried to push me into their pecking order of my husband is a ..... I looked at the chiefs wife and told her she ranked lower than me as I was an actual veteran. They had figured their pecking order based on their spouses. I never saw any of them wearing uniform parts but saw many supportive tees and sweats.

Response by SSgt Thomas Crosser Jr. made Jan 6 at 2015 6:37 PM

2015-01-06T18:37:42-05:00

Being shot at is easy. We trained for that right? Cover, concealment, well aimed fire, fire superiority, etc. etc. We are gonna get shot at, thats the job description. And it is what we have trained for since Boot or Basic. We know how we are supposed to respond, what we need to do to stop that SOB from shooting at us, toss a grenade at his ass, etc. etc. Spouses do not get trained to watch their loved one head into a war zone, raise the kids by themselves and take care of the hundreds of mundane tasks that were once shared with a spouse. We have it easier, yeah the conditions are harder, but we have friends on our side and they work their asses off to protect ours. Spouses do not have a fire team, squad, or platoon at their backs. I dont care for the wife wearing hubbies rank, but to claim spouses have it easier is just shit. We are better prepared for our environment than they are.

Response by SSgt Charles Welshans made Jan 7 at 2015 3:03 PM

2015-01-07T15:03:45-05:00

If she is in my quarters half naked no problem .i hate to see uniform being worn out of reg.but as kids we wore our fathersr uniform shirts to play marine there was no disrespect just the opposit

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 14 at 2015 12:11 AM

2015-01-14T00:11:57-05:00

The worse thing is when a spouses think they hold rank. The makes me angry. My wife never didn't and I would have left her if she tried. You see I do not tolerate this form of disrespect of others by giving power or authority to someone who did not earn it or was not trained to lead.

Response by MSG William Wold made Jan 14 at 2015 1:05 AM

2015-01-14T01:05:25-05:00

My brother was in the Navy; 32 years before finally retiring in 2000. His wife was not. Absolutely not, she almost would not even let him in the house with a uniform on, let alone her wearing anything, or the children. She would not touch anything of his gear, or anything. That all changed the week after he made Senior Master Chief. They had to move into new quarters about 3 blocks from where they were already. Now the school bus came directly to their house and picked up their children, driving past on the same street they used to live on, and past all the other children walking to school. The kids lost friends because they now live on "snob hill". He just couldn't fathom that.
After they got settled in their new house, the commander of the base's wife knocked on her door, and showed her the roster of her schedule to be the hostess of the tea social. His wife told her in no certain terms that she was not in the Navy, he was, and slammed the door. A couple hours later my brother was on the carpet in front of the commander and was basically told if he wanted to keep his rank, then his wife needs to get in line.
On the day she held the tea social, she was dressed in his uniform. She said If I'm in the Navy then there...That didn't go over at all. It got ugly. She left, filed for divorce. My brother kept his rank but transferred to another job at a different base. But that was just 3 years before retiring;.. I'm sure that no longer happens (?)

Response by CPO Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 14 at 2015 10:15 PM

2015-01-14T22:15:20-05:00

My wife might hate spouses that wear it on there sleeves more than I do! She'll. tell them too! That's why I married her.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 20 at 2015 5:12 PM

2015-01-20T17:12:19-05:00

Sgt Sasha Cruz I have to both agree and disagree with you here. I agree with the half naked in military blouse or draped flag being inappropriate, just the same as I would for a servicememeber doing the same thing (we shouldn't limit that to just spouses).

I would have to disagree about spouses not serving though. I would say they do serve, maybe not in the same capacity as the service member, but they are valued members of the team that make what we do as servicemembers possible (as I am sure you know). Now, does that entitle them to same "rights / benefits" we receive, probably not, but say to write them off as not serving, I thinkg that is a bit much.

Just my thoughts!

Response by SFC Collin McMillion made Jan 20 at 2015 5:14 PM

2015-01-20T17:14:37-05:00

I have really tried to stay away from the uniform did is sion, but must speak my piece. I don'the care who you are or what you do, but when you think it'should "cool" to improperly wear a uniform, or part there of, you have disgraced mines and the reasons I wear it, that is unexceptable. We have lost too many great people and spilled too much blood to be disgraced. You have attacked my pride and commitment, it should "NOT", be allowed.

Response by SFC Collin McMillion made Jan 20 at 2015 10:37 PM

2015-01-20T22:37:22-05:00

Sorry, I was corrected by a PO3, we fight and die for the right to wear our uniforms anyway we desire even if disgraceful. So I guess if spouses or anyone else wishes to degrade our dress code then it is fine.

Response by CPL James Cunningham made Jan 22 at 2015 1:40 AM

2015-01-22T01:40:24-05:00

This has been going on for like 3 months Really? Sgt Aleksandra Cruz... I am a Wife of an 82nd Airborne Ranger .. I do not wear his gear. I think your issue is more about Women...Notice she says Self- entitled lazy.... hum .... I am just saying, maybe you need to take some live or get a psych evaluation. You are very upset, maybe a good vacation is in order. If anyone knows her they could recommend that. I think that is a good idea, she seems stressed.

Response by LTC Stephen C. made Jan 24 at 2015 12:21 AM

2015-01-24T00:21:28-05:00

Sgt Sasha Cruz, you'll be delighted to know that my wife never wore any of my Army stuff. Never. Her sense of style was such that she would never even consider wearing any items of the uniform!

Response by Sgt Joe Brett made Mar 11 at 2015 3:09 PM

2015-03-11T15:09:24-04:00

So I guess y'all despise this as well

Response by SSgt Rilene Ann made Mar 11 at 2015 3:10 PM

2015-03-11T15:10:31-04:00

I hate when incivilian life run into someone saying their aveteran but it their husband.

Response by Cpl Bo Dronet made Mar 11 at 2015 3:51 PM

2015-03-11T15:51:22-04:00

I couldn't say it better myself.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 17 at 2015 8:18 PM

2015-03-17T20:18:50-04:00

Why Hillbillies Make Good Marines
Sent Tuesday, March 17, 2015
Dear Ma & Pa,

Am well. Hope you are. Tell brother Walt & brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before maybe all of the places are filled.
I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m., but am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt & Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.

Men got to shave but it is not so bad, they git warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings.

Like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc..., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie, and other regular food. But tell Walt & Elmer you can always sit between two city boys that live on coffee.

Their food plus yours holds you till noon, when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much. We go on "route" marches, which the Platoon Sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it is not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys gets sore feet and we all ride back in trucks. The country is nice, but awful flat. The Sergeant is like a schoolteacher. He nags some. The Capt. is like the school board.

Majors & Colonels just ride around & frown. They don't bother you none. This next will kill Walt & Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk and don't move. And it ain't shooting at you, like the Higgett boys at home.

All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges.

They come in boxes. Be sure to tell Walt & Elmer to hurry & join before other fellers get into this setup & come stampeding in.

Your loving daughter,
Gail

Response by PO1 Bill Adams made Sep 6 at 2016 5:38 PM

2016-09-06T17:38:51-04:00

I've been out since 91. My wife still won't wear a military uniform item without asking me if it's proper.

Response by PFC Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 17 at 2017 2:56 PM

2017-04-17T14:56:00-04:00

Have you all ever thought it may not be out of disrespect towards the service but to be close to the family member that might be overseas serving our country. It could be a way for them to feel close to that family member, to wrap themselves in a uniform shirt or piece of clothing.

People do this when they lose a loved suddenly to a tragic accident. They submerge themselves in the life of the missing person.

When my husband is gone for work or trips that are work related or family related and I miss him, I wrap up in his blanket and sleep on his pillows. Just so I feel closer to him.

Response by SrA Jamie Kennedy (Fox) made Apr 17 at 2017 9:52 PM

2017-04-17T21:52:50-04:00

I have a problem with military spouses who like to pull rank just because of their husbands rank especially over the lower spouses. I would especially hate seeing them showing up wearing apart of their spouses uniforms. If you didn't earn it don't wear it. I have been known to put another spouse in their place. Unless you are at home and not going out in public, then that is your business. Most of the spouses I have had the pleasure of meeting have been amazing there are always the few that give the rest a bad taste in the mouth. I for one would never wear my uniform in public (outside of work), or wear even a part of my ex's. There is pride in the uniform. Respecting the uniform, your service, respecting yourself, and respecting your service member is something as a spouse we should achieve for. I also believe new military spouses should be tought about the proper military and uniform etiquette just because most military spouses just don't know.

Response by LTC Stephen F. made Apr 20 at 2017 4:41 PM

2017-04-20T16:41:51-04:00

Sgt Sasha Cruz somebody just tagged me today in this discussion you posted 5 months before I joined RallyPoint. You asked a great question which seems to be reverberating still :-)
My wife has never disrespected the flag of the USA. She escaped from communist Cuba the age of 14 decades ago and values her citizenship and all that its stand for.
My wife is proud of my military achievements and would never even consider wearing any military uniforms. The only thing my wife has ever worn of my military clothing are my old OD green tee-shirts for painting, and some of the socks I was given at Walter Reed Army Medical Center after my mitral valve surgery in 2003.
COL Mikel J. Burroughs LTC Stephen C. Maj William W. 'Bill' Price Capt Seid Waddell CW5 Private RallyPoint Member SMSgt Minister Gerald A. Thomas SGM David W. Carr LOM, DMSM MP SGT SFC Joe S. Davis Jr., MSM, DSL SSG James J. Palmer IV aka "JP4" SSgt Private RallyPoint Member] SP5 Mark Kuzinski SGT John " Mac " McConnell SGT Robert George SP5 Robert Ruck SCPO Morris Ramsey CPL Eric Escasio SPC Private RallyPoint Member SrA Christopher Wright SPC Margaret Higgins

Response by MSG James Hughs made Apr 21 at 2017 9:47 AM

2017-04-21T09:47:14-04:00

As a captain.....I refused to ride my 1100 BMW motorcycle in uniform because I felt it was not fitting..... a personal decision.... most people do what they can get away with..... if the military deteriorates .....it is because we allow it to deteriorate.... the military spouse does what her partner allows her / him to do..... often the act like they hold the rank.... seen military wives weal their power just like their husbands ..... I am old school..... I made sure my conduct and that of my family did not bring shame on the service.....
At Fort Bragg...."Gun Fighter" General Emerson set the example....his standing order was NO HEAT WOULD BE TURNED ON UNTIL***** his new wife called post engineers and had her heat turned on early...... last I heard they are still divorced..... what you do in your private life is one thing; what you do in your public life is another.... WE REPRESENT AMERICA's BEST.... we should honor that responsibility by doing our best

Response by COL Mikel J. Burroughs made Apr 22 at 2017 8:59 AM

2017-04-22T08:59:57-04:00

Sgt Sasha Cruz Me and my wife reside down in Castle Rock and periodcially go for a long walk on a cold day and she where my green fleece jacket that I brough back from OIF 05-07 every once in a great while and I wear the black one. That's all and we are usally together. She wears it because its warm. She would never remotley think about wearing any of my other old uniforms, plus all I have left is my my formal dining dress blues and my dress whites. I just didn't give those up because they cost so much for an officer (LOL). Great question by the way! Thanks

Response by PO3 James Bobiney made Apr 23 at 2017 3:37 AM

2017-04-23T03:37:36-04:00

Is that a thing? When I was in I've never seen civilian spouses wearing their service members insignias, badges or patches etc. Now if they want to wear the field jacket or such because it's warm, as long as it doesn't have insignia or the branch name on it then I have no problem with it. They sell that shit on the civilian market. But I never knew that was a thing to be honest.

Response by Renee Steel made May 4 at 2017 8:23 PM

2017-05-04T20:23:15-04:00

It's just attention-seeking behavior. And usually just a female trait. These are usually the women that married the soldier, and not the man. I find it pretty ridiculous. Have your own identity besides "army wife". My husband loves me and is very proud of my profession. He,however, isn't making wallets out of my scrub pants, nor is wearing my hospital ID around on his chest and telling everyone he's a "nurse husband".

Response by Marc Grossbard made Jul 30 at 2017 2:16 AM

2017-07-30T02:16:26-04:00

I have this mindset, I have a buddy who was a Ranger. If he gave me a Ranger t-shirt I wouldn't wear it. I wasn't a Ranger and I didn't earn the right to wear it. Also I wouldn't want to run into regiment guys who would beat me senseless for wearing it.
Some things are earned, plain and simple. If you can't say your clothing, insignia, etc, was earned by you...just don't wear it.

Response by SSgt Boyd Herrst made Jul 30 at 2017 9:16 PM

2017-07-30T21:16:46-04:00

I have a M1A jacket that I obtained legally and had some miniature Cmnd patches and a regular size Rapid feployment patch from when I was in the AF... my gal friend had it on when we went into a truck stop
Enroute to home.. she got told by a Twp
Police officer the RDF patch is a controlled patch for AD mbrs only.. I informed him it was my jacket and she hair it on because she was cold(it was Feb
And cold in Mi. at That time.). He said I should know better having been a SSG. I didn't want to cause any waves so I said I'd take care of it and we left. All we got was gas in the truck and was on our way..
I took if he seen my leather name patch and seen the rank .. I didn't need some small Twp Officer trying to make s name
For himself.. why throw fuel on a smoldering fire..

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 3 at 2017 1:37 PM

2017-08-03T13:37:24-04:00

So I would ask the question to everyone that responded to this question; "Is this really important?" There isn't any reason to have an issue with spouses that want to support and show pride in what we all dedicated our lives to support. Instead focus your efforts on those who are hell bent to portrait all military and first responders in a negative manner. I'd like to return to the days when any member of the military could proudly walk down the street without having a target on their backs.

Response by Shannon Collier made Oct 26 at 2017 2:44 PM

2017-10-26T14:44:48-04:00

As an Army spouse and an Air Force mom, both have bought me a set of their PT’s. I do wear them from time to time. I think spouses wear uniforms for different reasons. I wear mine because I’m freakin proud of my men. It’s also good walking advertisement for both branches. ;) Helping out the recruiting offices. As far as actual ACU’s/BDU’s and dress blues (including covers), I’ve never worn any of those, nor would I ask to. That’s like them asking me to buy them a nursing uniform to wear. Doesn’t make sense. So, to recap this gal’s reasoning...... I couldn’t be more proud. I’m still one of those that get chill bumps with our National Anthem. Proud American here. Shoot, our door bell chimes the American Anthem.

Response by SFC Greg Bruorton made May 17 at 2018 6:01 PM

2018-05-17T18:01:05-04:00

Maybe that's the way spouses show support for their military husbands. Wearing the unit patch is one thing; wearing the husband's rank insignia is not recommended.

On another note, I once saw a teenage girl wearing an OD T-shirt having master sergeants' stripes on both sleeves. I commented to her that she was a mite young sporting that rank. She had no clue what a master sergeant was nor its implications. All I could do was to shake my head, grin, and then walk away.

Response by Lt Col George Roll made Sep 1 at 2018 8:00 PM

2018-09-01T20:00:06-04:00

,because they are proud of the military member and wish to show their associatiion with him or her, not out of disrespect for the service or the uniform.
My wife proudly wears my old flight jacket, without rank on it. She sewes a Name Tape with our last nane on it to her key chain, for the same reason. Her daughter served in the AF and she is equallyproud of her.