How might my command handle my situation of having a spouse needing surgery, while she also has a baby and is unable to lift over 20lbs?

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 05 Feb 2023 14:13:18 -0500

Has anyone been in the situation where your spouse needs their gallbladder removed and isn’t able to lift over 20lbs, but have an infant? What did your chain of command do for you? Has anyone had this specific situation where their command has afforded the sm leave or flexibility?

Response by COL Randall C. made Feb 5 at 2023 2:23 PM

COL Randall C. — Sun, 05 Feb 2023 14:23:48 -0500

SGT Private RallyPoint Member, you're asking such a specific question (which is good compared to an overly general one), but it's very unlikely anyone has been in that specific situation.

What exactly are you looking for? Validation? Advice? Clarity on regulations or policy?

To answer your topic question, a simple answer of "support you how they may be able" would be appropriate.

Are you looking for something specific? If so, you'll have to give some specifics - i.e., "I need to take time off to take care of my home because......" or "I've been trying to get my chain of command to do .........."

Response by SCPO Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 5 at 2023 3:28 PM

SCPO Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 05 Feb 2023 15:28:49 -0500

Your chain of command could and should do everything in their power to help you. They can be very creative with your work and duty schedule. They can "stretch" the regulations and policies out there as far as they can to let you have time off by whatever means necessary until your wife heals enough for your spouse physical restriction to end. Your first line supervisor, which I presume is going to be at least an E-6, should help advocate for you with the higher ups. My opinion is that the rest of your unit will gladly pick up the slack because they will see that if they are in a similar hard personal situation that their command will have their back as well. When your fellow Soldiers see your command helping you it will boost morale not deflate it. Also, does the Army have an emergency relief fund that you could use to pay for a hired caregiver to provide assistance? Your chain of command should advocate and endorse you for that as well. Another thought that I just had is that if you put the word out another Soldier's spouse (or more than one) would maybe want to volunteer to help with your child some of the time. Best wishes with your situation.

Response by SMSgt Bob Wilson made Feb 5 at 2023 4:57 PM

SMSgt Bob Wilson — Sun, 05 Feb 2023 16:57:44 -0500

Kevin,
Work half days and have a family member [your mother and/or her mother] come in for two weeks to help out [that should take care of a month]. Years ago, we called it "humanitarian leave" whereby the Commander would grant you I believe it was 15-day increments with a maximum of 45 days. You had to check in with the "orderly room" weekly and present a request from the doctor for continue leave. I believe this was after you had exhausted your leave time. Also, with the kinder, gentler military, I believe you get 30-days family leave. Check it out.

Response by CPT Lawrence Cable made Feb 6 at 2023 10:55 AM

CPT Lawrence Cable — Mon, 06 Feb 2023 10:55:27 -0500

Your chain of command can do a number of things, but if I understand the problem, you need child care when you aren't at home. It might be a simple fix. I would contact Military Child Care and see what they can accomplish. https://public.militarychildcare.csd.disa.mil/mcc-central/mcchome/mccyn/army

MCCYN Army | MCC Central

Response by CSM Darieus ZaGara made Feb 6 at 2023 11:30 AM

CSM Darieus ZaGara — Mon, 06 Feb 2023 11:30:40 -0500

It depends on the length of time required until the wife heels sufficiently. I have never seen a unit not support and approve a plan that can have a couple of components in support. However, if her condition is long term there will have to be a permanent plan from the Soldier to the unit. Family care plans place the burden on the Soldier, if not constructed and complied with them a separation action will take place.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 6 at 2023 12:38 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 06 Feb 2023 12:38:26 -0500

Did you even talk to your leadership about this yet? You know them better than anyone on here would know them. Everyone's leadership chain is different. Some people have leaders who are decent humans. Some don't.

You need to go to your first line leadership and talk to them about it and they should escalate it up and come up with a plan where you can at least be there for surgery and help out at first but you're probably going to have to reach out to see if any family can come help your spouse out as well.