Will being in a relationship with a convicted felon affect my military career?

2019-10-27T21:34:23-04:00

I am currently dating a convicted felon he has assault and drug charges and we are talking about getting married, will it affect my military career. I am a guy also.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Oct 27 at 2019 9:48 PM

2019-10-27T21:48:34-04:00

How does his family act. Do you want to risk marrying him?

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 27 at 2019 9:57 PM

2019-10-27T21:57:54-04:00

Everyone makes mistakes in their life, some change for the good after they learn their lesson. That's to include myself, if you're happy with him, take it one day at a time and see where it goes.
How can his history effect your military career, it's your career, now, take it where it goes and have a happy life with him.
You know what's best for you, note, love is blind, open your eyes, and live at your best to what you give in it.
"Take Care, young lady"

Response by CSM Charles Hayden made Oct 27 at 2019 10:03 PM

2019-10-27T22:03:09-04:00

Steady! Be professional and fully aware of his background . SPC Private RallyPoint Member

One of the kids’ from the old neighborhood went to a Psychologist
for confirmation of success and long term prospects before he married his second wife.

Current cost and delay is nothing compared to long term havoc!

EDIT — Bobbie also had the prospective bride undergo compatabile testing.

Response by SGM Bill Frazer made Oct 27 at 2019 10:47 PM

2019-10-27T22:47:50-04:00

You can bet any security clearance you have or want will be affected greatly

Response by COL Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 28 at 2019 12:27 AM

2019-10-28T00:27:06-04:00

The biggest issue would be if you require a security clearance. Look at the 13 adjudicative guidelines. https://www.cdse.edu/documents/cdse/job-aid-13-adjudicative-guidelines-v2.pdf

If he falls back into the old habits it could jeopardize your career or keep you from commissioning if you choose in the future.
Good luck.

job-aid-13-adjudicative-guidelines-v2.pdf

Response by SSG Brian G. made Oct 28 at 2019 4:40 AM

2019-10-28T04:40:22-04:00

As you are in the reserves according to what you have on your profile, unlikely. Things like this only come up if there is a need for a clearance other than secret and generally it comes up more in AD than in reserve. Just be aware of his past and the recidivism rate to re-offend. What he does can affect you. What he has done however cannot prevent you from getting promoted etc. His being a felon will affect you if you decide or are forced to reclass into a field that requires a TS or better clearance.

Response by PO3 Donald Murphy made Oct 28 at 2019 5:08 AM

2019-10-28T05:08:26-04:00

Do you plan on ever getting a security clearance? If the answer is “yes” then you may wish to find someone else. Likewise if you wish to have a school career post-military, etc.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Oct 28 at 2019 11:22 AM

2019-10-28T11:22:50-04:00

Does he drink heavily and take drugs?

Response by CSM Richard StCyr made Oct 28 at 2019 11:59 AM

2019-10-28T11:59:08-04:00

Could effect things like clearances and in some locations they may encounter difficulties with post access. You should go see the Jag or the IG and see what they say.

Response by CPL Gary Pifer made Oct 28 at 2019 3:56 PM

2019-10-28T15:56:49-04:00

I am surprised you know?..Do a background check if you have not done so.. Check court transcripts... then go talk with women at a battered women's shelter and hear their stories..

Response by CPL Gary Pifer made Oct 28 at 2019 4:03 PM

2019-10-28T16:03:33-04:00

PS: Married for 10 years he can get 1/2 your retirement. And unemployed felons can get spousal support.. I knew a nurse who married a rapist.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 28 at 2019 5:43 PM

2019-10-28T17:43:00-04:00

Why would you? Okay - so my ex husband is a felon; however, I have known him since we were like 18. I joined the Army, he married someone else didn't see each other for awhile. When I got with him again after his divorce and I was closer to home, he had some DUIs and I think a burglary felony at that point from years before. I had no clue; however, how bad of a meth addict he had turned into until it was too late. It did affect my career because all the stress from his drug addiction, his lying, stealing, cheating and then on top of that eventually our daughter's medical issues - it took a toll on me at work. I was in a compassionate reassignment then but I could tell I turned into someone I didn't like. Because of him.

I was only married to him for a year and divorced due to his drug abuse which a few times resulted in physical abuse. ALso he mooched most of my savings. Now I have had a clearance the whole time and it didn't affect my clearance. By the time I had my last PR we were divorced so I just had to explain all that. If we had stayed married not sure what would have happened.

However - if I had met him in our 30s with all his stuff he has now there's no way in hell I'd have ever been with him. Never.

Do yourself a favor and break up with that and run. Do not get involved with a felon. I don't care if he's been clean or stable or whatever he says. Assault and drug charges - he's going to use again. He's going to assault someone again and possibly you. My ex husband has a felony assault conviction against me. Two years ago (we divorced in 2015) he got arrested for burglary the day after our daughter's transplant. And possession. He ended up getting plead down to trespassing because "technically" his friend busted in the door. He got out last year in Nov - and on post release - and he's getting his post release revoked with a month left.

Some people change - some people don't. I'm telling you right now don't get married to this guy. If you plan to stay in stay away from guys like that. You can do better.

Response by MSG John Duchesneau made Oct 29 at 2019 12:42 AM

2019-10-29T00:42:13-04:00

Why are you worrying about how this will affect your military career when you should be worrying about how long it will be before he beats you up? I'd like to believe that every ex con learns their lesson and has a productive life but many, if not most, return to crime because of the character flaws they have that got them into trouble in the first place.
The bottom line is this - your partner will probably do something bad to you or someone else and you will be injured by it directly or indirectly.
I don't know anything about you but my guess is that you deserve better.

Response by MSgt Michael Smith made Oct 29 at 2019 11:00 AM

2019-10-29T11:00:54-04:00

Yes it could have implications. He might not be allowed on a military installation, it could effect your security clearance process. If you get orders overseas it is almost impossible for him to get command sponsorship (not even to mention a U.S. passport). Being married to a criminal like this is not all that conducive to a military lifestyle.

Response by SSG Omar Ruiz-Canales made Oct 29 at 2019 12:59 PM

2019-10-29T12:59:21-04:00

Nowhere did you state that this felon is on the clean and narrow, making it sound to some of us that you are accepting his criminal ways and that he may still be doing his criminal things. Do not let this become some kind of federal crime that involves your livelihood because of your blindness of acceptance to this fellow.

Response by LCpl Sandy Moran made Oct 29 at 2019 2:02 PM

2019-10-29T14:02:54-04:00

Take it from a 60 something father. say"good bye" your career is more important. you WILL find someone to be with. Your young don't settle for any Tom ,Dick Or Harry that comes along. My advise go with friends and meet someone other then in a bar. And if you find someone in a bar watch his drinking. See how many times he gets drunk{tippsy} And how often he drinks. {every time you go on a date?}. Its hard but doable. Remember we lye but our actions speak for themself. GOOD LUCK. Oh send a picture I'll marry you my wife won't mind. hahaha

Response by PV2 Morris Graham made Oct 29 at 2019 5:22 PM

2019-10-29T17:22:42-04:00

And your still in the service? Why would you want a felon in the first place??? Grow up if you want to stay in . Once a druggy always a druggy. They don't change. God what a question......

Response by MGySgt Joseph Magyar made Oct 29 at 2019 11:32 PM

2019-10-29T23:32:34-04:00

You will not listen to any advise you get from us. What you see is what you'll get. On average few of us change from who or what we are. In your heart you know what you should do but in your mind you know we do not know him/her and do not understand. So let your panty hose make the decision for you. Wish you luck and hope you do not live to regret your choice. I am more interested in your life then your career

Response by CSM Darieus ZaGara made Oct 30 at 2019 5:54 AM

2019-10-30T05:54:20-04:00

You will likely not be able to update your security clearance, which may be grounds for a chapter provided you require a clearance. It is a gamble. It may also affect his ability to gain a passport or Visa in order to move with you over seas. Thank you your service.

Response by CW3 Michael Clifford made Oct 31 at 2019 8:29 AM

2019-10-31T08:29:51-04:00

There are so many things which can and will go wrong with this relationship. If you have a clearance and work around classified material, you will draw the attention of MI and possibly CID for that alone. The CID will also be involved if your unit has a spike in urinalysis positives. Boys in the joint are not gay out of “finding themselves” rather out of necessity. They also do not consider themselves “gay”. Openly gay inmates are used by the heterosexual gang leaders for anything they damn want and prison is not a democratic republic. In your MOS, gangs on the outside, through your squeeze, have probably already targeted you. Making inventory will be what they want. Today, it will be something innocent. Tomorrow it will be body armor, vehicles, ammunition and weapons. He only has to get you to help them steal once and then they have you. They will then use the threat of exposure to get you to continue. The rate of return is exceptionally high for convicted felons and prison.

Response by CW3 Michael Clifford made Oct 31 at 2019 8:31 AM

2019-10-31T08:31:39-04:00

Sorry... should read “making inventory disappear” below.

Response by SrA John Monette made Oct 31 at 2019 11:27 AM

2019-10-31T11:27:09-04:00

slam on the brakes and shift into reverse. assault AND drugs???? no bueno!!!!!!! find a non-convict for a lifetime commitment. this loser already has his future written. and it probably entails more drugs. not saying it's definite, but it is likely. think about that when you decide to be career military or want a job in the federal government. you will not get any kind of clearance if you are with him.
dump him like yesterday's trash

Response by SPC Steven Nihipali made Dec 16 at 2019 11:53 AM

2019-12-16T11:53:11-05:00

First off, no one cares if you're gay. Who cares... if you can pass that background check, now that millions of people have one and doesn't mean shit anymore, yeah, you'll be just fine... there's higher up people civil service who've broken the law ans walked away with a good game pat. Security clearances don't mean shit anymore. Now, why in the hell are you trying to marry a convicted felon when your supposed to be an outstanding citizen, someone everyone can look at and say, I wanna be that guy... when you're questioning your career

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 16 at 2019 12:30 PM

2019-12-16T12:30:39-05:00

This should not impact your career directly, but indirectly, you may have to mention this person on a security clearance background check.