Will therapy affect your military career?

J D — Thu, 12 Mar 2020 02:05:10 -0400

My wife is new to the Army she's only been in about 7 months. While she was in AIT her mother passed away and she has been having a really tough time dealing with it. Now that she is out of training and in the regular Army we both think that she needs to see a therapist but she's been told by multiple people in her unit that she shouldn't. They've said that it will be viewed as a negative and especially so because of how new she is. She was told that it would be part of her file and potentially prevent her from moving up. We want to know if this is true and if so what options she has. Any help is greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 12 at 2020 2:16 AM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 12 Mar 2020 02:16:48 -0400

With the army having a suicide stand down every other month, I think the army is more Sympathetic. Have her talk to a chaplain.

We have had too many generals commit suicide because they felt they were too good to seek professional help. If somebody gives your wife crap tell them a lieutenant colonel (Me) sent you this story.
https://www.armytimes.com/news/your-army/2017/01/11/army-report-self-doubt-and-sleep-deprivation-led-to-2-star-s-suicide/

Army report: Self-doubt and sleep deprivation led to 2-star's suicide

Maj. Gen. John Rossi was two days away from pinning on a third star and taking the reins at U.S. Army Space and Missile Defense Command last July when he hanged himself.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 12 at 2020 2:17 AM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 12 Mar 2020 02:17:28 -0400

CPT Private RallyPoint Member Father, Could you help this person out off line?

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 12 at 2020 2:22 AM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 12 Mar 2020 02:22:08 -0400

I worked with a Full bird colonel who went to The funeral of this lieutenant colonel. This new tenant colonel was a DEA agent stressed out about his work. He told his CO workers and went home and blew his brains Out. I don't feel there's anything wrong with your wife seeking counseling. Just have her do the best job she can. You can bring these stories along for good measure because her commander will be able to say a damn thing!!

https://www.military.com/daily-news/2018/03/14/police-investigating-death-marine-battalion-commander.html

Marine Battalion Commander Found Dead in Home

Officials have ruled a suicide after the commander of a Marine Forces Reserve unit was discovered dead earlier this month.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 12 at 2020 3:16 AM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 12 Mar 2020 03:16:18 -0400

You reminded me about mental Health! I put this on my Facebook. 3 Generals are on my friends list... I am not afraid to discuss sobriety and mental health! Thank you for inquiring!

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 12 at 2020 3:21 AM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 12 Mar 2020 03:21:01 -0400

Response by MAJ Byron Oyler made Mar 12 at 2020 5:21 AM

MAJ Byron Oyler — Thu, 12 Mar 2020 05:21:57 -0400

If she does not get better, that will affect her career much more than seeking help. I am in people's medical charts daily and unless you have a need to know, I do not even have access. There are certain markers than can affect a career but like I said in the beginning, if this does not get resolved, the issues will affect far more than getting seen.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 12 at 2020 8:14 AM

1SG Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 12 Mar 2020 08:14:45 -0400

Those encouraging her to not seek therapy/counseling are mistaken.
I strongly encourage you to support her in
seeking counseling/therapy. Please note that the Chaplain, in addition to health care providers, is another source.
Failing to seek counseling/therapy is unwise, and, truth be told, has the potential to have a negative impact on duty performance and family life.
Tell her to seek it; support her; and, tell her to hold her head high.

Response by SGM Erik Marquez made Mar 12 at 2020 9:30 AM

SGM Erik Marquez — Thu, 12 Mar 2020 09:30:45 -0400

1: Life is supposed to be long and full of events, the Army is not for ever...plan and act for life..Do that well and the Army will take care of itself for as long as she chooses to stay.
2: If therapy reviled her incompatibility with service, then yes it will effect her retention.
3: If the therapist decides the best course of treatment is medication, working no more then 2 hours per day, no more then 15min at a time then yes it will effect her retention.
4: If she sees a therapist for 30 min a week for 6 months, is able to perform normal duties everyday, and after some time working though the grief process she becomes comfortable in dealing with it on her own as time passes......I can not see that as an impediment to a long career in the current environment.

Response by COL Mikel J. Burroughs made Mar 12 at 2020 9:35 AM

COL Mikel J. Burroughs — Thu, 12 Mar 2020 09:35:30 -0400

J D Absolutely have seek help immediately through the chaplain services on base and don't wait. The loss of love one can be devastating and she needs the counseling. She can also connect with me and Warriors for Life (WFL) Virtual Support Group - it's private, no judgment, no stigma, and we've all been through the loss of a love one and even those who've died from Suicide. We meet on Satruday, Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday evening every week. We're here for veterans Juan. Here is my contact: [login to see] You can both reach out to me and I will give you the information to connect. Take care of her my friend.

Response by LT Brad McInnis made Mar 12 at 2020 10:30 AM

LT Brad McInnis — Thu, 12 Mar 2020 10:30:20 -0400

Not sure what the regs are, but as a leader I would much rather someone be proactive rather than reactive to mental health. I had a number of sailors that I sent to mental health, and none of them had their careers affected. Get the help, deal with what may come after words. Sorry about her Mom.

Edit: Saw some of the other posts and want to re-iterate about talking to a Chaplain. Even if you aren't religious, they are a very underutilized source that are VERY GOOD at dealing with stuff like this, and they know all the regs.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 12 at 2020 11:18 AM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 12 Mar 2020 11:18:43 -0400

The Army has worked hard to remove the stigma of receiving therapy ever since Green Berets started returning from Iraq and killing their spouses/murder-suicide. We now have embedded behavior health counselors right in the Brigade and the chaplains are trained in counseling as well for those who prefer to talk to the chaplains. I myself have sought out counseling several times during the more stressful and traumatic periods of my career. Military One Source also provides six free counseling sessions with a local civilian counselor for you and your spouse for each for each separate issue and does not report that to her command.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 12 at 2020 11:49 AM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 12 Mar 2020 11:49:05 -0400

Any leader that tells Soldiers that seeking help from Behavioral Health is seen/will be seen as a flaw/weakness....is a shitty leader IMHO. Behavioral Health is there for a reason. For Soldiers to get the help they need. I have told my Soldiers that if they need assistance...to seek out that assistance. Hell, I've told my Soldiers that I will personally go with them if they wanted me to. Hell, I've sought out the help of Behavioral Health. Your wife is getting bad intel. And any teammate that tells your wife to not seek help, they are some serious BLUE FALCONS

Response by SGT(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 12 at 2020 12:58 PM

SGT(P) Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 12 Mar 2020 12:58:37 -0400

IMO, any leadership telling your

Response by PO1 Don Gulizia made Mar 12 at 2020 1:00 PM

PO1 Don Gulizia — Thu, 12 Mar 2020 13:00:28 -0400

The chaplain is one source, but she should go to her primary care physician and get a referral to mental/behavioral health. For certain jobs, there was a stigma, in the past. For grief counseling, I don't think the same stigma applies. Good luck.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 12 at 2020 1:57 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 12 Mar 2020 13:57:01 -0400

She should seek help.
Nothing wrong with it

Response by 1LT(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 12 at 2020 5:17 PM

1LT(P) Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 12 Mar 2020 17:17:21 -0400

Having her go see a mental/behavioral health specialist or even a chaplain is important for her as her need to be of a sound and peaceful mind is far more important than the supposed stigma. If her leadership gives her issues is IMHO weak and toxic, unworthy to command soldiers. The stigma is severely reduced and will most likely shrink away as time progresses. Ultimately, she must make the best decision for herself which sounds like seeing a professional.

Response by J D made Mar 13 at 2020 2:49 PM

J D — Fri, 13 Mar 2020 14:49:19 -0400

Just wanted to thank everyone that took the time out to reply. I appreciate the support and it provided the push we needed to disregard whatever negative comments we've heard and move forward with getting help. Thank you all so much.

Response by CPT Jason Boggs made Mar 14 at 2020 8:13 AM

CPT Jason Boggs — Sat, 14 Mar 2020 08:13:30 -0400

Chaplain or social worker/psychologist both are good options. Getting therapy after a traumatic life event wouldn't have an impact on a career or prevent someone from deploying/attending schools,etc. Before starting therapy the behavioral health person will let them know what things they are mandated to report to command. Chaplains, however, are required to be 100% confidential.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 14 at 2020 9:36 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 14 Mar 2020 21:36:20 -0400

Personally I have used counseling in the past. It never effected my career it was encouraged that I went to counseling due to the army’s stand down on suicide now.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Jan 5 at 2024 11:24 PM

MAJ Ken Landgren — Fri, 05 Jan 2024 23:24:34 -0500

An honest assessment must be made. Does she need help? Sometimes getting help is more important than serving in the military.