YOU are the 1SG. Your spouse tells you about a FaceBook post with disparaging remarks about the unit leadership. What do you do?

2014-05-11T17:12:31-04:00

Your spouse calls you at work one night to tell you about the latest FaceBook drama. It seems that one of your Platoon Sergeant's spouses has posted remarks on their personal FaceBook discussing the terrible leadership in your unit. What do you do?

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made May 11 at 2014 5:20 PM

2014-05-11T17:20:12-04:00

Not much you can do, other than talk to the PSG in hopes that they can talk to their spouse and explain why it could be detrimental to the unit's morale

Response by SSG Robin Rushlo made May 11 at 2014 5:20 PM

2014-05-11T17:20:58-04:00

Opinion is like the end you sit on and they all stink

Response by SSG V. Michelle Woods made May 11 at 2014 5:35 PM

2014-05-11T17:35:52-04:00

Tell your Army wife to deal with that Army wife and then tell all Army wives to stop wearing your PT SHIRT!!!
:)

Response by SSG Trevor S. made May 11 at 2014 6:30 PM

2014-05-11T18:30:41-04:00

Aside from giving SSG Woods some gruff, my thoughts on this were developed by an LT who had a flash of brilliance between sessions exploring which way was North. I do not accept current unit/work "friends" on my personal face book account until I leave that unit/job. It cuts down on drama like turning the channel on a soap opera.

Response by SPC Charles Brown made May 11 at 2014 6:49 PM

2014-05-11T18:49:02-04:00

Personally I would consider it to be a non-issue simply because it is an opinion of a spouse on a social networking site. Everyone is entitled to their opinion no matter what it may be. Unfortunately in todays society perception is the rule, and that quite possibly the spouses perception of the unit leadership. Why waste my time on something that is the problem of a civilian who happens to be attached by marriage to a service member. I would also quickly tell my wife to mind her own business and this isn't any of hers.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made May 11 at 2014 8:31 PM

2014-05-11T20:31:44-04:00

Can you really do anything about it? No. But id argue that it gives you insight into the climate of your organization. Which is pretty useful. There's no way id let it go without talking to my PSG. But the options about formal counseling, bashing them back, etc....not going to do that.

I'd pull him in, show him what I saw and talk to him. Obviously there is a larger issue at hand. Time to get to the bottom of it.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made May 11 at 2014 8:41 PM

2014-05-11T20:41:42-04:00

You absolutely should talk the PSG, but not with the intent to squelch it. Is this what he/she is saying at home? Is it true? Is there a problem? As 1SG, it is your job to know! Ignore this to your peril; it's a red flag.

I want to address a separate issue...how many of you said "wife?" MSG Stewart never mentioned gender and never said that the "spouse" was not currently serving (or prior service). And even if the person was a female who never served a day, if she is married to a PSG, this is probably not her first day as an Army spouse and her input should not be automatically devalued.

None of the voting options were to take the spouse's remark as a legitimate concern so I didn't vote.

Response by SSG Jeffrey Spencer made May 11 at 2014 9:40 PM

2014-05-11T21:40:59-04:00

None of the above. I would read it as it should be a peek into reality. It's worth an internal check to ensure you are doing your best as a leader.

If unfounded, I would privately consult the PSG, noting that opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made May 11 at 2014 10:45 PM

2014-05-11T22:45:02-04:00

While I would be annoyed, 1SG, the path I would take wasn't one of your options on the survey. I would use the opportunity to discuss with the PSG AND his spouse the very concerns she is discontent about. Put the burden of responsibility to speak out on he and her by showing you take her concern seriously and would like to address the issues at hand. Bring the commander in on it to. If she is just talking crap she will feel stupid for doing so and for embarrassing her husband. And if she has legitimate complaints then you will have the advantage of gaining situational awareness of problems you may be able to solve at your level before the pot is over stirred. Either way you will have done your due diligence and demonstrated who is in charge of your Company's best interests.

Response by SSG (ret) William Martin made May 12 at 2014 12:15 AM

2014-05-12T00:15:30-04:00

Get some screen shots or it never happened. Also, while the Army does not hold any authority over a spouse and their disparaging comments about anyone, I can decide to speak to the SM of the spouse and advise him or her on the matter.

Response by SFC Michael Hasbun made May 12 at 2014 6:59 AM

2014-05-12T06:59:29-04:00

That's the nice thing about being a civilian, they can bash whomever they want. Having said that, I think the command is duty bound to discuss the allegations. This might be the clue that uncovers some real problems in the unit.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made May 12 at 2014 7:01 AM

2014-05-12T07:01:32-04:00

Definitely discuss this with the PSG because it seems they are airing unit laundry at home or venting about unit leadership to his spouse. It is unlikely the spouse could develop such an opinion without some ammo from within, but then again some spouses are just whiners and love drama.

Response by SFC Christopher Perry made May 12 at 2014 7:24 AM

2014-05-12T07:24:55-04:00

MSG Stewart,

I have not really dealt with FB issues in this respect. I have however had some issues with a FB group and some major OPSEC issues. However, when the issues were addressed with the administrators they did the right thing and deleted all the problem posts and now seem to be monitoring their content much more closely. We must keep an eye on all FB groups that show any sort of affiliation to our units! The OPSEC officers cannot be everywhere at all times.

Response by SPC Christopher Smith made May 12 at 2014 1:03 PM

2014-05-12T13:03:44-04:00

Nothing you really could do, yes, you could talk to the PSG but seeing how it is the spouses account, not much can be done. Take the moment to review what is being said, figure out if their is something to learn, or what could be fixed. Unless you are going to kick out the military spouse for the trash talking of the civilian spouse not much can be done to stop them.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made May 12 at 2014 1:58 PM

2014-05-12T13:58:53-04:00

I put it this way, if that spouse stood up on top of her car shouting this stuff in front of the PX where everyone could hear her, would you do something? Facebook is the same thing.... I would first talk to the Platoon Sergeant. If his wife is disgruntled, he is probably disgruntled. If he is disgruntled, most likely his platoon is feeling the heat as well. It is time for either a new platoon sergeant or the old one to fix his issues.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made May 12 at 2014 3:48 PM

2014-05-12T15:48:09-04:00

Fix it at the lowest leave possible. Talk to the spouse with the issues in person.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made May 12 at 2014 3:52 PM

2014-05-12T15:52:13-04:00

This is a sensitive subject with multiple levels. You cannot take action against the PSG for the statements made by a family member on a public forum. The family members are still US citizens, and therefore have rights of free speech and are not bound by the same rules we are. However, exercising those rights can sometimes cause friction for the Soldier of whom they are a dependent...whether intentional or not.

However, what is more important is finding out why. I feel that it is absolutely within the scope of responsibility of the 1SG to sit down with the PSG to find out what is causing the spouse to make the disparaging comments.

Often times, our families (because they are not in the military themselves) do not fully understand the culture that we live and operate in. By showing care and addressing the issue with the Soldier, it may help to alleviate some concerns the family member has. It may also indicate that some additional FRG support that may be needed for the families.

Response by LT Jessica Kellogg made May 12 at 2014 9:14 PM

2014-05-12T21:14:27-04:00

Depending on the situation, it might also be appropriate for the leadership to attend an FRG meeting to address potentially valid concerns.
Of course, this could backfire and turn into a bash the unit session, but it could also be a really good way to build and develop the ties between the unit and the families. I'm not saying you should drop everything at every single complaint, but if there is a true pattern of genuine complaints, it might be worth an hour of your time to hear what they have to say.

Response by MAJ Bryan Zeski made May 13 at 2014 12:04 AM

2014-05-13T00:04:14-04:00

From personal experience, I leave Facebook drama to Facebook.

Response by SGT Shon D. Hill made May 13 at 2014 5:16 AM

2014-05-13T05:16:49-04:00

I could be wrong, I'm just old enough to be OLD SCHOOL, but any slamming of chain-of-command or unit/ leadership on social media like FB, by a spouse even, not appropriate and PSG needs to get affairs in order, PERIOD! instant unit/leadership killer! Glad I'm a vet now, I feel for you guys with FB, twitter, WTF else out there :(. Seems exhausting

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made May 13 at 2014 6:07 AM

2014-05-13T06:07:34-04:00

If I could vote for B and C, I would.

Response by SGT James P. Davidson, MSM made May 13 at 2014 12:17 PM

2014-05-13T12:17:53-04:00

None of the above. I would find the soldier of said spouse and the Company Commander and discuss first the issue with posting publicly like that, and second work toward discovering WHY the soldier feels as such (as the spouse got the idea from 'somewhere'). There may be valid reasons for his/her (the soldier's) thoughts and feelings on the topic. If that is the case, move quickly to remedy the issue. Second discussion point would be to ensure there is a degree of trust between the PSG and the chain of command to ensure that disparities could be resolved through proper channels. Third point of discussion would involve possible discipline scenarios for the PSG if it happens again,

If the breakdown is 'that bad' in the chain, there are problems far worse than a soldier's spouse expressing his or her disdain.

If the issue was at levels higher than the immediate chain, a transfer may be in order for that soldier.

Finally, the PSG would be required have removed the offending post and made to understand that his or her spouse refrain from posting publicly about unit business unless he or she (the PSG) desires any point of the aforementioned disciplinary action.

There would be a second discussion involving the spouse ASAP, as well, regarding the implications and possible outcomes if the situation is not remedied immediately.

Response by SFC Stephen P. made May 15 at 2014 1:39 AM

2014-05-15T01:39:11-04:00

Other:
Determine if the comments have merit, conduct self evaluations, seek input from my PSGs, and work to improve the organization's leadership.

"When things go wrong in your command, start searching for the reason in increasingly larger concentric circles around your own desk.” ––GEN Bruce Clarke.

Response by PO2 Private RallyPoint Member made May 15 at 2014 6:09 AM

2014-05-15T06:09:46-04:00

I believe the best approach to this is to discuss your concerns with the PSG and see what is really going on. In some of my units we have had times when spouses have vented on FB about situations just like this. Turned up half of them were due to lack of information and/or communication between the spouses. Others was due to lack of belief in their Chain of Command. These situations are like mold you leave it alone and it will spread.
Unfortuanetly ignoring statements towards leaders or other statments of concerns is a poor choice of leadership, you can never improve yourself, the situation, or the members/spouses understanding of what may/may not be the problem.
As some of the Navy goes, a lot of us sailors use social media to get a "feel" for there next duty station, locate sponsors, and/or have someone show them around their next destination. Who would show up with motivation and dedication when they read smack about their gaining leadership.

Response by PO2 Corey Ferretti made Nov 25 at 2014 2:40 PM

2014-11-25T14:40:06-05:00

I would call the PSG and have him/her and spouse into my office and have a close door meeting. He may not have known about his wifes post. Inform both that what was done was unprofessional and how those comments could affect their spouses career path.

Response by MSgt Denise Smith made Mar 17 at 2015 11:07 AM

2015-03-17T11:07:06-04:00

As the 1SG it would be good to talk to the PSG out of the office in a neutral location because there are potentially problems that you should be aware of. Additionally, by chat with the PSG you may find that there is a communication problem within the unit. Many years ago while stationed in Germany there was an Army General that would hang out at the Rod & Gun Club and chat up the troops. If he found out about issues from those young troops that he should have been told by his staff/unit commanders he would be asking why they were not giving him the information he needed to correct the problem or better communicate the situation to the personnel.

Response by SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 17 at 2015 11:32 AM

2015-03-17T11:32:04-04:00

Or...you could create a fictitious FB account and drill her for additional info...playing devils advocate, and get to the heart I the matter being complained about. Another option.

Response by CW5 Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 17 at 2015 7:54 PM

2015-03-17T19:54:38-04:00

I voted discuss with the PSG; however, logging into your own Facebook account and slamming the spouse might earn you an ARCOM!

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 17 at 2015 11:03 PM

2015-03-17T23:03:47-04:00

Honestly, unless OPSEC is involved or the spouse is also a service member, my opinion falls between Nothing and Discuss (leaning towards "Discuss" as far as how I would want to handle it and towards "Nothing" if we're talking about establishing policy/laws). The spouse has no obligation (ethical, maybe...but you can't enforce ethical) to meet the expectations of the SM's command or the Army (or other military), and his/her ability to say whatever he/she is saying is part of what we fight for.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 18 at 2015 6:36 AM

2015-03-18T06:36:54-04:00

A rant such as this implies a couple things that require First Sergeant attention -
The spouse has formed this opinion due to interactions with unit leadership and they came across poorly and/or the PSG goes home at night and tells the spouse about the trials and tribulations of the day's events, and the spouse has formed this opinion over time.

These are problems because it undermines the family's support to the service member, ultimately costing you in retention and morale. Additionally it might be that the command climate is not what it should be. Spouses do not do things like this in a vacuum. As the spouse of a PSG, this one has probably been around the Army for a while, and would be influential to other spouses when they interact.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 18 at 2015 6:38 AM

2015-03-18T06:38:10-04:00

then I will c heck their Instagram Twitter and Pinterest accounts see if they said anything about the battalion commander because my job is now the police the Internet, I understand if they posted something on a unit page but if It is a personal account then there is nothing you can do about it, remember when we used to fight the enemy and not each other

Response by SGT Chris Owens made Mar 18 at 2015 8:12 PM

2015-03-18T20:12:46-04:00

you know what my reaction looks like when a civilian has an opinion about anything military....that goes for wives of enlisted men

the platoon SGT needs to get his spouse out of the discussion

and as 1st SGT I would have another look at leadership without saying a word to anyone, this way if the spouse is wrong, no harm done......but if she is wrong I would pull the PLT SGT aside and counsel him on his wife, who is not enlisted and let him know that action can be taken against her should she continue ....and yes, action can be taken against her

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 19 at 2015 12:37 AM

2015-03-19T00:37:43-04:00

I have dealt with this and it cost my wife a friendship.. worst part the Battalion Commander and Executive Officer weren't aware of the impact of their behavior on spouses. Frustrating situation with another spouse wanting to go to media about toxic leadership. I protected my Battalion leadership and was made to regret it. That is why I couldn't fault a former FACCC student in command later calling and telling me, he got my former BN XO relieved as a BN CDR for toxic leadership.

Lesson learned whatever caused the comment needs to be addressed

Response by SGT Alan Sledge made Mar 19 at 2015 7:27 AM

2015-03-19T07:27:04-04:00

I would discuss it in the FRG meeting. Obviously, it needs to be addressed, but I would do it indirectly. It's very easy to complain about what's wrong, broken, etc., but why not band together and make it better? There's more of an accomplishment in that.

Response by SrA Matthew Knight made Mar 19 at 2015 8:16 AM

2015-03-19T08:16:22-04:00

I am thinking about it of course from an AF perspective here and I would have to say of all the options, number 2 is the best...sort of. I wouldn't necessarily say that it is "Detrimental" to unit morale. However, I would definitely speak with them about it and let them know they need to talk with their spouse and have them tone their personal opinions down on very public social media. Obviously since it is a spouse there isn't really much you can do but said NCO should be accountable for their spouses actions.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 20 at 2015 10:01 AM

2015-03-20T10:01:17-04:00

This is something that should be discussed. Our spouse are a part of our career and sphere of influence. Just like when the Commanders wife are a part of the Change of command they have a role. If they are act in such a way it would be bad in the units morale.

Response by 1SG Brian Adams made Dec 7 at 2016 12:18 AM

2016-12-07T00:18:06-05:00

I have fond memories of dealing with Family support spouses. First I would try to determine if the spouse is frustrated because of the husband/wifes work hours ( which normally is the case). Perhaps the spouse is having marital problems, financial problems, and again this could be that their spouse is over worked and never home etc....Facebook is open social media. What is said on Facebook could be one in the same as a Family support meeting.
I would sit the Platoon Sergeant down and discuss what may be the reasoning behind the facebooks comments.

Response by SSgt Michael Cox made Feb 8 at 2017 10:40 AM

2017-02-08T10:40:12-05:00

I would remind the Sergeant that what your spouse and dependents do effects yourself. I personally didn't add any military personnel to my Facebook until after I separated. I would also tell them that if they felt something was off with leadership they should come talk to me about it.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Feb 27 at 2021 9:26 PM

2021-02-27T21:26:55-05:00

Detrimental then the next step is counseling if needed.