You might be a veteran if....

SSG Warren Swan — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 13:22:47 -0500

Rally Point, it's been a very long weekend with the events that have been going on over the last 10 days. With many of the discussions focusing on that, there isn't much room to decompress, so being I'm a Jeff Foxworthy fan, instead of "You know you're Redneck if...Let's do "You know you're a Veteran if..... I'm posting these memes of mine to get it going. But to add to them..You know you're a veteran if:

1. Your credit score is higher than your first paycheck as a private
2. You laugh when you hear troops talking about how broke they are, but have money for beer.
3. You smiled when told the forecast for rain, just to show up to PT formation and it's dry...UNTIL you start doing PT...
4. Your favorite brand of liquor was called "whatever someone else bought"...meaning it was free.
5. You remember laughing at troops who thought 29% APR was good...
6. Your version of giving directions to get somewhere near Ft. Bragg uses strip clubs, tattoo parlors, and used car dealerships as reference points...
7. You were told by your PSG that Top wanted to see you in his office. The current temp outside his office is a nice 72 degrees....the moment you go in, it's 172 degrees and rising, and when you crawl out, it's below zero being you just got done sweating half your body weight.
8. You're scared to walk on your own grass at home, so you hire someone to do it.
9. You are no longer active military, but still know where your PT belt is
10. You can look at all the meds you take in one hand, but the total count is more than you have fingers, toes, and limbs.
11. You're in PT formation and all the NCO's line up in the first rank to call cadence, and EVERY one of them can only know...C130 rolling down the strip.....

AND GO.......

Response by 1stSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 16 at 2015 1:26 PM

1stSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 13:26:19 -0500

Response by SSG Audwin Scott made Nov 16 at 2015 1:27 PM

SSG Audwin Scott — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 13:27:50 -0500

Man you got me rolling over here.

Response by SSG Warren Swan made Nov 16 at 2015 1:34 PM

SSG Warren Swan — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 13:34:33 -0500

If you think CLP is an awesome cologne....you MIGHT be a Veteran...

Response by SN Greg Wright made Nov 16 at 2015 1:54 PM

SN Greg Wright — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 13:54:32 -0500

SSG Warren Swan You reflexively say 'pay me back 30' when your child asks to borrow 20 bucks.

Response by SGT Patrick Reno made Nov 16 at 2015 1:56 PM

SGT Patrick Reno — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 13:56:19 -0500

You might be a veteran if you tell an employee his Head Space and Timing is all fucked up.

Response by SN Greg Wright made Nov 16 at 2015 1:58 PM

SN Greg Wright — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 13:58:08 -0500

SSG Warren Swan You might be a veteran if you instantly know ALL of the units, symbols and ribbons on an old vet's hat.

Response by SN Greg Wright made Nov 16 at 2015 1:59 PM

SN Greg Wright — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 13:59:23 -0500

SSG Warren Swan If you still instinctively look for a place to hide upon seeing an e-9 without coffee in hand...you might be a vet.

Response by SSG Warren Swan made Nov 16 at 2015 2:07 PM

SSG Warren Swan — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 14:07:38 -0500

The last one is Army specific....glad I NEVER gad to go through that.

Response by SSG Audwin Scott made Nov 16 at 2015 2:13 PM

SSG Audwin Scott — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 14:13:46 -0500

You might be a veteran if you telling your children be in bed at 20:30 hrs.

Response by SGT Dave Tracy made Nov 16 at 2015 2:16 PM

SGT Dave Tracy — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 14:16:25 -0500

You might be a veteran if your friends & family don't want to watch military themed movies with you around to critique the accuracy of the actor's uniforms.

Response by MSgt James Mullis made Nov 16 at 2015 3:10 PM

MSgt James Mullis — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 15:10:03 -0500

You catch yourself taking your hat off when you enter a building...look around and see everyone else wearing their hats...think about it...then put it back on. For years I kept it off.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 16 at 2015 3:27 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 15:27:13 -0500

You go to receive your paycheck and look up above you to see the armed guards with NBC masks on the hips.

Response by SSgt Alex Robinson made Nov 16 at 2015 3:28 PM

SSgt Alex Robinson — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 15:28:59 -0500

great post!

Response by MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca made Nov 16 at 2015 4:10 PM

MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 16:10:27 -0500

1. You know the only "boats" the Navy owns work best underwater.
2. "Whiskey Tango Foxtrot" and "Charlie Foxtrot" are your most used quotes.
3. Your definition of constructive criticism is telling a co-worker to get their head out of their 4th point of contact".
4. Your kids know that their full name followed by "front & center" means they're in it deep!
5. You're still on 24 hour time and no one knows what you mean when you tell them you'll meet them at 1500.
6. Your vacation planning involves a 5 paragraph OPORD.
7. You can hold an entire conversation using nothing but acronyms.
8. You know that a P38 and an M1 can each refer to very different items based on the context of the conversation.
9. You comprehend that "peace" is an extremely volatile term.
10. You are not afraid of the fact that everything you wear, carry, use, fire, drive and eat was obtained through the lowest bidding contractor.

Response by LTC Stephen F. made Nov 16 at 2015 4:11 PM

LTC Stephen F. — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 16:11:52 -0500

You are probably a veteran if you joined the military with an idea that you wanted to defend this nation SSG Warren Swan. You would definitely be a veteran if you were sent to places you never heard of before and either fought there or grew to like the place you never heard of.
You could also be a veteran if near where you worked there were streets lined with bars, liquor stores, pawn shops, check-cashing places, houses of prostitution, and cheap motels and on paydays people were lined up to take your money.

Response by SSgt Ed Lewandowski made Nov 16 at 2015 4:43 PM

SSgt Ed Lewandowski — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 16:43:00 -0500

your vet went you treat your kids basic trainee when they mess up and your the ti

Response by SFC Eric Williams made Nov 16 at 2015 4:45 PM

SFC Eric Williams — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 16:45:23 -0500

I must have given you directions at some point in our careers...gotta love number 6

Response by MCPO Steve Spence made Nov 16 at 2015 4:48 PM

MCPO Steve Spence — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 16:48:18 -0500

You have a standing appointment with the barber every Saturday morning.

Response by MSgt Daniel Attilio made Nov 16 at 2015 4:54 PM

MSgt Daniel Attilio — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 16:54:13 -0500

When your audience isn't disturbed when you start a story
"There I was, balls deep in a camel's a$$"
or you respond
"Well f#*k me in the goat's a$$ running uphill backwards!"

Response by SFC Eric Williams made Nov 16 at 2015 5:09 PM

SFC Eric Williams — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 17:09:15 -0500

You might be a veteran if you see a sign that says "ABSOLUTLY No profanity, no smoking and no Drinking" and you respond by patting all of your battle dress pockets and screaming out "dammit I left my cigarettes at the bar"....

Response by TSgt John Temblador, PI, CIPA made Nov 16 at 2015 5:48 PM

TSgt John Temblador, PI, CIPA — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 17:48:22 -0500

FROM MY GENERATION.. OLD FARTS! From a Friend on Facebook...

Tony Rose
I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing backwards.

Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every ten seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a month, leaving us more than 280,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' Were bad-tempered and impatient, and maybe letting us kill some ***hole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.....

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys.... We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however..... I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any push-ups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too..... I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave or to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those terrorists..... The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million hacked off old farts with bad attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them.

HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50.... in menopause! You think MEN have attitudes? Ohhhhhhhh my goodness!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!

Send this to all of your senior friends in big type so they can read it.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 16 at 2015 5:59 PM

1SG Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 17:59:26 -0500

My first pay check was a little over $300 (mid month). So yeah, I get it.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 16 at 2015 6:05 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 18:05:35 -0500

#12 You were able to see the beer fumes rise of from your 1SG AND CO during a Regimental run

Response by SSG Michael Hartsfield made Nov 16 at 2015 8:26 PM

SSG Michael Hartsfield — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 20:26:29 -0500

SSG Warren Swan If you've ever said "I was in (insert unit/fort/base/camp/port/military branch) when it was hard" you might be a veteran.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 16 at 2015 9:02 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 21:02:02 -0500

You have ever sent a private for break light fluid or to the Commo Sergeant for a battery for the PRC (prick) E7 (radio... supposedly)!

Response by SGM Mikel Dawson made Nov 16 at 2015 9:10 PM

SGM Mikel Dawson — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 21:10:51 -0500

When a friend or someone you work with asks - "What's a FUBAR"

Response by PO3 Sherry Thornburg made Nov 16 at 2015 9:56 PM

PO3 Sherry Thornburg — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 21:56:00 -0500

Cute. I can relate to some of that, but now you have inspired me. I may bring on "You may be a Navy brat if." I could come up with 10 good ones.

Response by PO1 John Miller made Nov 16 at 2015 11:04 PM

PO1 John Miller — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 23:04:12 -0500

You might be a vet if your boss asks how you fixed the server problem and your response is "PFM."

Response by SN Greg Wright made Nov 16 at 2015 11:17 PM

SN Greg Wright — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 23:17:58 -0500

SSG Warren Swan If you yell at the tv while watching the Last Ship because some doofus just saluted the CO indoors (and therefore, uncovered)....you might be a vet!

Response by SP5 Michael Rathbun made Nov 16 at 2015 11:25 PM

SP5 Michael Rathbun — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 23:25:52 -0500

You remember the scent ... odor ... whiff ... of well-used web gear waiting to be issued to the latest gaggle of naive draftees. You remember it because your Dad's duffel from WWII had exactly the same aroma.

Response by SN Greg Wright made Nov 16 at 2015 11:29 PM

SN Greg Wright — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 23:29:43 -0500

SSG Warren Swan If you've ever stood mail buoy watch in full class-4 NBC gear...you may be a vet.

(Le sigh).

Response by SN Greg Wright made Nov 16 at 2015 11:30 PM

SN Greg Wright — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 23:30:27 -0500

SSG Warren Swan If you have more chemical and fire-fighting certifications than the average local Fireman...you may be a vet!

Response by SN Greg Wright made Nov 17 at 2015 2:56 AM

SN Greg Wright — Tue, 17 Nov 2015 02:56:31 -0500

SSG Warren Swan You might be a veteran if...

...you have bitten your Commanding Officer in the leg as part of your Wog Dog duties during the Crossing of the Line Ceremony?!

Response by SGT James Allen made Nov 17 at 2015 5:38 AM

SGT James Allen — Tue, 17 Nov 2015 05:38:54 -0500

You know you are a Veteran when a fellow Veteran at work prints off military acronyms so coworkers understand you.

You sent a brand new Lieutenant to Supply for 100 feet of flight line.

You sent a Private to get Chem-lite batteries.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 17 at 2015 7:28 AM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 17 Nov 2015 07:28:12 -0500

...everyone in the barracks knows who Alpha Roster is

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 17 at 2015 8:36 AM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 17 Nov 2015 08:36:19 -0500

You laugh to yourself when your civilian friends complain of how hard their jobs are! ....They have no idea!

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 17 at 2015 8:47 AM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 17 Nov 2015 08:47:53 -0500

You tell people to "make way" "make a hole" "move out"...

Response by SCPO Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 17 at 2015 9:36 AM

SCPO Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 17 Nov 2015 09:36:50 -0500

Warren, this has to be one of the single best discussion posts on RP since I joined. Just plain old Barracks humor. Nothing about Politics, Religion, some MILPER reg, or LGBTQ issue. Just us making fun about ourselves, laughing at ourselves, knowing that we get it and most civilians never will. Bravo Zulu!!!

Response by MAJ George Huley made Nov 17 at 2015 12:43 PM

MAJ George Huley — Tue, 17 Nov 2015 12:43:05 -0500

You went 21 days without a shower, glad the MOPP gear you wore had a charcoal lining. Also you knew who the AF guys were by the fact that they didn't stink. You stayed in the field and the AF stayed in hotels.

Response by TSgt John Temblador, PI, CIPA made Nov 17 at 2015 8:32 PM

TSgt John Temblador, PI, CIPA — Tue, 17 Nov 2015 20:32:03 -0500

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 17 at 2015 9:19 PM

SSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 17 Nov 2015 21:19:03 -0500

You've ever discussed using CLP as a personal lubricant.

Response by CAPT Kevin B. made Nov 18 at 2015 1:06 AM

CAPT Kevin B. — Wed, 18 Nov 2015 01:06:42 -0500

You might be a Veteran if you still pick out REMFs at the Mall.

Response by SSG Vernon Powell made Nov 18 at 2015 1:54 PM

SSG Vernon Powell — Wed, 18 Nov 2015 13:54:31 -0500

You have ever started a 'war story' with the phrase "No sh*t, there I was..."

Response by MAJ Ron Peery made Nov 18 at 2015 2:19 PM

MAJ Ron Peery — Wed, 18 Nov 2015 14:19:54 -0500

Damn glad my career ended before the PT belt craze started. I do have one, though. I put it on my cat so I don't step on her in the dark.

Response by Sgt Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 18 at 2015 2:40 PM

Sgt Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 18 Nov 2015 14:40:32 -0500

you might be a veteran if you have ever told someone (or been told) to fix your headspace and timing and then come back.

Response by CH (CPT) Ephraim Travis made Nov 18 at 2015 2:53 PM

CH (CPT) Ephraim Travis — Wed, 18 Nov 2015 14:53:54 -0500

When I'm about to drive with my children, I tell them to "hit the latrine and kit up because we're rolling in 5."

Response by SPC Michael West made Nov 18 at 2015 6:21 PM

SPC Michael West — Wed, 18 Nov 2015 18:21:38 -0500

lol, all of these are so true.

Response by SGT Rick Ash made Nov 18 at 2015 6:27 PM

SGT Rick Ash — Wed, 18 Nov 2015 18:27:22 -0500

"Ain't no use in goin' home, Jody's got your girl and gone".... :-) Sound Off!

Response by SSG Paul Forel made Nov 18 at 2015 7:21 PM

SSG Paul Forel — Wed, 18 Nov 2015 19:21:48 -0500

You might be a veteran if you still leave part of the top to a can attached after using a can opener to open the can.

Response by 1SG Norman Dashiell made Nov 18 at 2015 9:47 PM

1SG Norman Dashiell — Wed, 18 Nov 2015 21:47:27 -0500

When you use the knife hand and a loud, clear deafening tone to converse with the people who have irritated you

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 19 at 2015 8:57 AM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 19 Nov 2015 08:57:35 -0500

When you knife hand a co-worker, spouse, child etc while explaining to them what was wrong and why then need to correct it.

Response by PO1 Bill Adams made Nov 19 at 2015 1:32 PM

PO1 Bill Adams — Thu, 19 Nov 2015 13:32:45 -0500

If you've ever said, "I made Shellback when it meant something." you might be a Navy Vet.

Response by PO1 Bill Adams made Nov 19 at 2015 1:37 PM

PO1 Bill Adams — Thu, 19 Nov 2015 13:37:48 -0500

When a new guy shows up at work, and you can recognize he's a Vet by the words and phrases he uses.

Response by LCDR Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 19 at 2015 1:53 PM

LCDR Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 19 Nov 2015 13:53:29 -0500

...if you come home to a well-cooked meal and tell your wife, "Out-STANDING!"
...if you rant about the inaccuracy of war movies-but cry during "Rambo" and "Delta Force"
...if your wife has to remind you that "khaki on khaki" doesn't "match"
...if you own a jacket or hat with too much "flair"
...if you polish your work boots
...if you take a different route home each night
...if you think a six-pack a night is "normal"
...if you've told the same story, seven different times, to the same people
...if you spend more time on RP than you do on FB

Response by SGT William Howell made Nov 19 at 2015 2:59 PM

SGT William Howell — Thu, 19 Nov 2015 14:59:31 -0500

This happened today.

You wife last week tells you they hired a new guy at the office.
Today you ask her how the FNG is doing and she has no clue what you are talking about.

Response by SGT William Howell made Nov 19 at 2015 3:01 PM

SGT William Howell — Thu, 19 Nov 2015 15:01:25 -0500

You still refer to any port-a-potty as a "Wack Shack".

Response by SGT William Howell made Nov 19 at 2015 3:05 PM

SGT William Howell — Thu, 19 Nov 2015 15:05:05 -0500

You hear a helo flying over your house and you can tell if it it a Black Hawk, Chinook, or Apache.

If it is an Apache you pray that he will make a gun run on your neighbors down the street that can't seem to mow their yard.

Response by PO3 Sherry Thornburg made Nov 19 at 2015 6:03 PM

PO3 Sherry Thornburg — Thu, 19 Nov 2015 18:03:35 -0500

One on my parents.
You get called by your Captain to go home and do your yard work because you wife is out there doing it in shorts and has become a distraction to the control tower crew.

Former Kodiak Air Base. Everybody knew each other.

Response by SPC Kortney Kistler made Nov 19 at 2015 11:16 PM

SPC Kortney Kistler — Thu, 19 Nov 2015 23:16:20 -0500

1. Keeping in step when walking with others, this includes walking with a limp because the guy next to you has a limp.
2. Getting ahead of a group or falling behind so you don't have to march in formation.
3. Keeping your hands out of your pocket.
4. Keeping your laces tucked in your boots.
5. 360 walk around before getting in your car.
6. you put your ball cap on 2 fingers off your nose.

Response by SSG Paul Forel made Nov 23 at 2015 2:35 PM

SSG Paul Forel — Mon, 23 Nov 2015 14:35:23 -0500

You might be a vet when you are constantly training new girl friends to say "three o'clock" or "one o'clock" instead of their saying "there".

Response by CPL Brendan Hayes made Dec 8 at 2015 1:48 PM

CPL Brendan Hayes — Tue, 08 Dec 2015 13:48:50 -0500

You've ever described walking a significant distance by using the word "hump" or one of its conjugates.
e.g. "Man! I parked like 3 blocks away so I had to hump it back over here."

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Dec 8 at 2015 2:10 PM

MAJ Ken Landgren — Tue, 08 Dec 2015 14:10:34 -0500

Sadly this occurred to me. Post SGM: Sir sometimes an officer has to get rid of the wife if he wants a career. She got a DUI on post.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 9 at 2015 10:20 AM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 09 Dec 2015 10:20:13 -0500

Your neighbor calls you after hearing a transformer explode to ask if everything is ok at your house.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 10 at 2015 8:51 PM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 10 Dec 2015 20:51:08 -0500

You awaken to the sound of breaking glass and you're a female and your partner says, "Do you have your gun?"

Response by SSgt Terry P. made Dec 19 at 2015 1:31 PM

SSgt Terry P. — Sat, 19 Dec 2015 13:31:59 -0500

SSG Warren Swan If you reload every time you fire even though you are hunting and only fired one shot in a ten round magazine.

Response by 1LT William Clardy made Dec 19 at 2015 9:48 PM

1LT William Clardy — Sat, 19 Dec 2015 21:48:54 -0500

Circling back around, SSG Warren Swan, but you might be a veteran if the whole kitchen is silent and everyone is looking at you in horror after you shout "AT EASE! I'm on the phone!"

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 21 at 2015 11:44 AM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 21 Dec 2015 11:44:41 -0500

You are watching "Survivor" and you laugh at them when they cry because they haven't seen their family in 3 weeks...

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 21 at 2015 11:57 AM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 21 Dec 2015 11:57:35 -0500

you've ever had to wear full battle-rattle, goggles, elbow and knee pads, and Kevlar to the DFAC because the mayor cell thinks there might be incoming IDF. Then the CSM makes you wear a PT belt over it so you will be a more visible target.....

Response by MSgt Marvin Kinderknecht made Jan 3 at 2016 8:51 PM

MSgt Marvin Kinderknecht — Sun, 03 Jan 2016 20:51:58 -0500

You can drink your wiskey straight. How about if you can take your gun apart and put it back together IN THE DARK.

Response by SCPO Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 12 at 2016 5:53 PM

SCPO Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 12 Jan 2016 17:53:57 -0500

You might be a Navy vet if you walk into a store and stop talking, a long with telling people to be quiet, when they make an announcement over the PA system...