You see a Soldier with a high risk pregnancy smoking. What would you do?

2016-02-18T19:49:51-05:00

Yesterday, I found out a Service member I know is having a high risk pregnancy. She is at the beginning of her second trimester and is already on a limited schedule per doctors orders. Today, I saw the same Soldier in the smoke pit with a lit (nearly consumed) cigarette in her hand.

In that scenario, what would you do?

Response by Capt Mark Strobl made Feb 18 at 2016 7:58 PM

2016-02-18T19:58:50-05:00

SFC Private RallyPoint Member - Man-o-war. Tough Call. On one hand, you have to look out for the welfare of your troops (and their future dependents). On the other hand, you have to respect the decisions (albeit ones with which you may not agree) of the individual --especially when it comes to health. If she's in your direct command, I could only suggest that you restrict her from smoke breaks... pretty sure this would be a legal order. As for her decisions on her time... well... that's on her. Whatever decision YOU make, act with firmness, fairness, compassion, and dignity. Hell of a tightrope you're on.

Response by SGM Steve Wettstein made Feb 18 at 2016 10:12 PM

2016-02-18T22:12:33-05:00

I would have a conversation on her decisions and the possible effects it could have on her during her pregnancy. But in the end it is her choice.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 19 at 2016 10:00 AM

2016-02-19T10:00:22-05:00

This is a situation. She's being really irresponsible. You can talk to her and that's about it. I hope you can get through to her. Maybe consult the Chaplain as well just in case.

Response by Capt Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 19 at 2016 11:06 AM

2016-02-19T11:06:13-05:00

Same as with any other person making poor choices. All that one can do in these cases is influence through example and compassionate discussion. Attempting to dictate a change in behavior through command, no matter how well intentioned will probably only have a negative affect.

Response by MSgt Stephen Council made Feb 19 at 2016 11:07 AM

2016-02-19T11:07:08-05:00

SFC Private RallyPoint Member I encountered this same situation in 1996. I had an Airman working for me who continued to smoke while going through a tough pregnancy. I also had a 2Lt who was constantly berating her for it. In the end, the Lt was counseled to cease her comments before a formal complaint of harassment was filed. The legal office informed us that the Lt would lose that fight as the Airman had repeatedly acknowledged her advice and requested she drop the subject. People have a right to make certain choices, even stupid choices. BTW: the baby was born over eight and a half pounds and a healthy, beautiful little girl.

Response by CPT Aaron Kletzing made Feb 19 at 2016 11:42 AM

2016-02-19T11:42:00-05:00

Wow, this is a tough question to think about. I would take her aside and advise her that for the health of her baby, she should not be smoking and should not be in the immediate vicinity of people smoking. This is the moral and ethical thing to do in my opinion.

Response by Sgt Aaron Kennedy, MS made Feb 19 at 2016 12:04 PM

2016-02-19T12:04:54-05:00

Check with her and ask if the doctors had informed her of the risks. Ask if they had offered to get her in smoking cessation seminars or classes, and if she needed any assistance in that regard. Acknowledge it was her choice, but point out that I was worried about her and the kid, and that I was willing to do whatever I could to help her quit smoking if she wanted.

The thing about Rights is that it includes the Right to make stupid decisions. All we can do is make sure People are fully informed, not impose our will.

Response by SGM Erik Marquez made Feb 19 at 2016 2:01 PM

2016-02-19T14:01:33-05:00

As has been noted, as a leader, as a peer, senior or subordinate in that situation your obligations are limited to providing information and then if requested assistance to help her with her addiction and unhealthy lifestyle.

Response by Capt Tom Brown made Feb 19 at 2016 3:04 PM

2016-02-19T15:04:21-05:00

I would mind my own business and not try to assuage my conscience by saying something gratuitous to her which she has probably already heard a dozen times from everyone and their brother, medics, preachers, priests, superiors, parents, sibs, teachers, etc. She has had many opportunities to make an informed decision one way or the other and will have to live with her decision.

Response by SPC(P) Jay Heenan made Feb 19 at 2016 5:32 PM

2016-02-19T17:32:21-05:00

Nothing, what she is doing is not against any regulation or current policy. She has probably been told a million times what a crappy choice she is making regarding the health of her unborn child. All you can do is to offer the programs available to her and hopes she is able to conquer her addiction.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 20 at 2016 4:02 AM

2016-02-20T04:02:50-05:00

So, I didn't do nothing. In fact, I pulled her aside (albeit not far) from the smoke pit and made it clear to her that I thought her decision was incredibly stupid. I did so for the following reasons.

1) I had the misfortune of being born at a whopping 4lbs 10ozs because my mother smoked for the entirety of her pregnancy with me. I spent the first two months of my life in an incubator and almost didn't survive the NICU. Also, I suffered from frequent asthma-like episodes as a kid because she continued to smoke in the house. I suspect the only reason she stopped smoking in my childhood is because I nearly died on at least two occasions that I can remember.

2) I was not willing to let it sit on my conscience that I said nothing when I could have potentially been the "one more" voice that got through to the Soldier and encouraged her to make a better choice for herself and her baby. I can live with her making decisions for herself with which I don't agree. As many of you have said, she's a grown woman and has the right to make advised and ill-advised decisions alike. However, I challenged her to imagine looking her little girl in the eyes and explaining to her why mommy couldn't make a better choice for her while that child lay in a hospital bed with a potentially life-long illness or worse. Hopefully, I got through to her and at the very least gave her a moment of pause the next time she considers lighting up.

I don't know that I made the best decision but I made a decision I am happy to defend. I am not willing to right the Soldier off. I am not willing to look the other way. I am not willing to deem her or her baby a lost cause or irredeemable. However, I am willing to stand in front of the commander, 1SG, CSM, JAG, IG, or whomever and explain why I think what she's doing (though not illegal) is extraordinarily stupid and that I think the only responsible thing for her to do is to quit doing it.

Now, I will freely admit that I probably didn't use as much tact as I could have. I probably let some F bombs fly. I also said what I said loud enough for other people in the smoke pit to hear me. That's on me. However, I took the time to tell her my story, I offered her assistance, and after the fact I sent my junior NCOs to follow up with her to make sure she gets the support she needs to quit as she said she would. At the end of the day, though the delivery was probably rougher than she's accustomed to, I believe she could see that it was coming out of genuine concern for her and her baby's well-being. That's the hope anyway.

Anyway, thank you all for your input. Thank you for the advice. Most of all, thank you for helping me take care of our nation and our nation's greatest assets, the American Servicemember.

Response by SSG Jesse Cheadle made Feb 20 at 2016 10:55 AM

2016-02-20T10:55:39-05:00

I would approach this situation carefully.
1) Whatever you say, do it in private.
2) Encourage the SM to cut back.
3) Encourage the SM to not smoke in the presence of others.
Smoking while pregnant is a situation in and of itself. However, quitting smoking while pregnant can cause undue stress on the mother and baby. I have heard it both ways working with patients. Some doctors will say to quit. Some doctors will say to cut back as much as possible. If she smokes like a freight train then there are certainly some encouraging words that could be offered. If it is limited, I would not say anything. If anything, something to the effect of, "Thanks for not being a heavy smoker." Its a delicate topic either way. I hope this helps.

Response by SGT Alicia Brenneis made Feb 20 at 2016 3:47 PM

2016-02-20T15:47:12-05:00

The only thing you can do is talk to her about negative outcomes of smoking while pregnant. Past that, it's her choice. Encourage her to enroll in the classes that help soldiers quit. I will tell you from experience, quitting is difficult regardless of pregnancy. It took me till I was almost 7 months the fully quit.

Response by TSgt Dawn Premock made Feb 21 at 2016 3:09 PM

2016-02-21T15:09:00-05:00

I understand how you feel as a Senior NCO and a caring person. I can tell you from the view of smoking while I had a high risk pregnancy as a young Airman. I was told many times by my doctor, peers and the senior leadership to quit smoking. I wished I could, but smoking was my only outlet at the time (I know that sounds like an excuse). I was in a very abusive marriage that no one would believe. I tried to get help and it turned against me.
There is no excuse for smoking, I know now that I am 50 years old and have quit, but there may be circumstances that no one knows about. Hopefully she isn't drinking also.
BTW my son was born 6 weeks early, at 8 lbs 10 oz.

Response by PO2 Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 22 at 2016 9:24 PM

2016-02-22T21:24:13-05:00

Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do as far as I know. Unless they put it in the regulations, she's going to be able to smoke whether she's pregnant or not.