Your most embarrasing moment?

MSG Scott McBride — Fri, 06 Feb 2015 14:01:54 -0500

We have all had them...Teleconferences with the boss...PowerPoint presentations and handouts for Quarterly Training Briefs, Semi-Annual Training Briefs, After Action Reviews, etc,...When you think the old man is crazy, make sure your "Mute" button works...

http://youtu.be/781a1btyceE

Xerox Funny Commercial The Mute Button

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 6 at 2015 5:45 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 06 Feb 2015 17:45:22 -0500

I was stationed at Camp Shelby in 2013, NCOIC of Immunizations and was in charge of giving the medical brief for SRP to all deploying Soldiers... We ran out of medical packets (the section in charge of the packets apparently miscounted the box by almost 100) for over 600 infantry soldiers coming from Guam... So while my specialist ran back to our office to get more I decided to go ahead and start the brief and not waste time.... So in my nice loud voice I in the auditorium/theater said " for those that are waiting on packets just go ahead and listen and you can get off your buddy later"... Ironically the SHARPS/EO brief was right after my brief....

Response by Sgt Aaron Kennedy, MS made Feb 6 at 2015 6:46 PM

Sgt Aaron Kennedy, MS — Fri, 06 Feb 2015 18:46:20 -0500

I was on a BN hike on the side of the hill. We're still "technically" in Camp Horno, as we can look to our right and see the camp (we're maybe 30~ mins into the hike). One of the guys in front of me does a weird adjustment thing with his gear, and starts to slip. I pull him into the hill. I overcompensate, and end up pulling myself "off" the hill.

I fall off the side of a mountain. End up sliding about 40-50 feet down the side of the stupid hill. Completely rip open the side of my cammies, and feel like a d#$% fool. Entire BN is stopped, Company Gunny yelling down for me to stay put and not move.

They run organize a squad, a few docs, and some "leadership" to go get me, and the rest of the BN heads on it's way. I'm yelling up that "I'm fine" and the Gunny is yelling "Don't you f#$% move til we check you out!"

Three hours later, I've got everyone who has half an ounce of silver on their collar (Company Commander, BN CO, Regt CO) in the Camp at BAS, checking in on me. Don't get me wrong, I appreciated it, but it was my own fault.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 7 at 2015 1:06 AM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 07 Feb 2015 01:06:13 -0500

Probably my biggest was a "Stupid LT" trick that I pulled during my first rotation (and only) as ammo detail. It was myself (1LT), a 2LT, and a SGT. The SGT said she'd done the ammo details before, so we figured she'd have the best grasp on things. So, we asked what worked best. "Ok...so first let's go ahead and open up the ammo so we can load faster without pausing to keep cutting boxes." (*cue readers' synchronized facepalms*)

So we have things opened up, figuring ammo for the qual range was still in the Humvee. The MSG (Range NCOIC) comes out and goes "Ok, so how are things coming along?" I chime in "So, we've got the boxes open to help load the ammo faster and..." At this point, he interrupts and says "Which boxes?" "Uhhh........the boxes in here...the ones we load the magazines with bullets from?" At this point his jaw drops and I see the look....you know the look. "How many boxes did you open?" Ahhhhh crap. I know where we are going now. "Umm....all of them?"

It is at this moment that I discover that this had ALL of the zero range AND qualification range ammo, plus they had ordered extra to ensure that everyone had the chance to qualify. So for an estimated 110 people to qualify, we now had to expend 16,000 rounds of 5.56 ball ammo. After everyone (except one person) qualified, people were told to grab 6-8 30-round magazines and assume their firing positions. Burst mode. Don't aim. We aren't authorized night fire. Please don't aim. Commence firing.

At one point, the tower says "Cease fire, cease fi--" *POW* "I SAID CEASE FIRE DAMNIT!!" At this moment, the lane safety is waving the green paddle. The Soldier's barrel had gotten so hot from the firing that the rounds had cooked off in the barrel despite being safed at tower instruction.

Additionally, all of us in the detail of course loaded every round. By the end of the day, our fingers were black, and then we got back to the barracks to clean rifles until 0230 the following day.

Moral of the story: Don't put inexperienced Soldiers on ammo detail without ensuring that they FULLY understand "Handling of Army ammunition"

Moral #2: Don't open all the freaking ammo. You can't return it once it's open.
v/r,
CPT Butler

Response by LCDR Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 11 at 2015 1:01 PM

LCDR Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 11 Aug 2015 13:01:50 -0400

Oh my...there are SO many.

Let's see; it's about 2002 and I've been on-board the Mighty Warship One Two for about ten months. CO has finally decided to give me an OOD underway board. After months of bridge time and study, I'm "golden"...right. Well, the DHs ask their usual questions, "How do you break this code on the red phone?", "What do you do during flight quarters"...you know, the easy stuff. Captain looks me in the eye and asks, "Gillespie, what's the condition when we are ballasted down in the well deck and underway?" I'm stymied...didn't he just answer his own question? Groping for an answer I respond, "Captain? I mean...uh...er....there are increased hazards maneuvering?" Captain patiently says, "Yes...that's correct...but what's that called?" Completely bamfoozled, I'm trying to figure out what kind of "trick" question the old man's asking me when I blurt out, "Captain...well...there's water in the ass-end of the ship!" Several DHs suppress laughter...XO just face-palms...the Captain looks at me like a specimen from the zoo. "Well, er...yes...that's true Mr. Gillespie, but I was driving for 'Free Surface Effect'".

Lot's of jokes about "hillbillies" getting into Annapolis, etc...etc...etc.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Aug 12 at 2015 3:25 PM

MAJ Ken Landgren — Wed, 12 Aug 2015 15:25:03 -0400

Here is a doozy. I was on my first field problem at Ft Hood as a tank platoon leader. My platoon was supposed to be the lead element of a TF for lots of tanks, M113s, and the mobile bridges. I was going to report REDCON1 which means engines started and ready to SP, but my driver would not respond via intercom. The drivers seat is comfortable and he was sleeping. We took a hammer and banged on the hatch, but he would not wake up until the end of the column passed us. That was an ignoble moment for me and my crew.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Aug 12 at 2015 3:36 PM

MAJ Ken Landgren — Wed, 12 Aug 2015 15:36:16 -0400

This is not embarrassing but it was funny. Four of us took the role of downed aviators and had some SFs aggressors. It was at night and the country boy in our group said lets hide in the cow pen which had large bushes and many cows, so we can be rescued. Two Blackhawks showed up and were told to hide under one bush so went scattering for the largest bush and hid under it. One of the choppers descended and the cows started stampeding because of the immense noise and rotor wash. We were running to avoid being trampled as the cows were running in every direction, so we can get to the right spot. I was sure I was going to get stomped by scared bovine.