What's the weirdest thing you've seen while on CQ/Duty?

I had to duct tape a drunk POS down to an Army cot. CSM said if he read about one more alcohol incident he would ban drinking in the barracks. After his pissing in the hallways, fighting, puking, and lip to my OIC, I had him go to dinner to not be around for what was about to go down. I called his 1SG and requested a little latitude and was given the green light. Things were a little different back then. His 1SG commended me for not throwing him off the roof, which is what he would have probably done.

When I was the Officer of the Day at Eglin AFB the OD at Pensacola NAS called and said that a civilian brought in a crippled pigeon with a government leg band, and he wanted to know if it was an Air Force bird.

I checked with a couple of projects that I knew about and confirmed that it was indeed an Air Force bird, but the project didn't want it back. They said the civilian could keep it.

Well I wasn't on CQ rather I was called by CQ because two of my Soldiers decided to eat a bunch of "magic" mushrooms and wonder around Fort Drum. One of them stripped down to his underwear, wondered through the woods and came out by the main gate where he proceeded to climb onto a girl's car, do some "karate" and then do a flip through her windshield. I had to pick him up in the ER before he went to the MP station.