Posted on Oct 24, 2014
PO3 Purchasing Manager
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Have you ever found yourself on mail buoy watch?

Ever been handed a kapok life vest and broom and told to fend off any monkeys that try to board during a Suez Canal transit?

How about being sent after the elusive ID10T that the chief needs right away?

I'd like to hear some of the other service gags run on the new guy. Let's hear em please!
Posted in these groups: Corporate-culture-492 CultureTransitioning-to-civilian-career-550x373 Military IndustryNavy Navy
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CSM David Heidke
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I got in trouble once because I told a private to tighten the turret on a HMMWV by climbing into it and turning it clockwise. After a few minutes of him turning, he said it wasn't tight, so I said "Oh, that's because its clockwise from the inside, not the outside. You're turning the wrong way."

I cringed when the 1SG walked up and asked him what he was doing.
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PO3 Purchasing Manager
PO3 (Join to see)
5 y
That is hilarious!
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SSgt E/E Craftsman
SSgt (Join to see)
5 y
Epic!
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SN Keith Jarboe
SN Keith Jarboe
5 y
Awesome!
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Cpl Michael Strickler
Cpl Michael Strickler
5 y
Terminallancenarniamartinduran2013
I normally do not post anything in posts this long, i just go down the list voting my favs, but you are all amiss. These items are all part of a long kept Marine Corps secret... I really shouldn't even be telling you about this, chem light batteries are in high demand:
http://terminallance.com/2013/03/19/terminal-lance-contest-winner-narnia/
http://terminallance.com/media/comics/x2013-03-19-tlstrip.jpg.pagespeed.ic.KJM-R9F4hb.webp
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SGT Team Leader
24
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I would love to help, but I am still on my life-long journey to find blinker fluid for my PLS. Why is everybody OUT? Is there a shortage?!
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SSgt Kevin Shanahan
SSgt Kevin Shanahan
5 y
Used to send them for prop wash for the C130's and 50 ft of Flightline....
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SA Harold Hansmann
SA Harold Hansmann
5 y
I am still waiting for 10' of gigline and the gigline stretcher.
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SSG(P) Instructor
SSG(P) (Join to see)
5 y
I have some, I'll send you a 4 digit grid, come and get it.
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PO3 Michael Peterson
PO3 Michael Peterson
>1 y
or a case of fallopian tubes
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CPT Chris Loomis
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1. Have some PVT take exhaust fluorocarbon samples from an HMMWV using a plastic garbage bag as part of PMCS and then have him deliver it to the 1SG who has the "test meter."

2. Send a PVT to the S-4 SGT to get the "FNG mount" for the NVDs.

3. Telling new PVTs to the unit that their PSG likes to be greeted with the acronym FODA.

....I spent some time as an Enlisted Soldier before going to OCS and getting my bar.... :)

How 'bout a thumbs up for the ol'LT?????
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SSgt E/E Craftsman
SSgt (Join to see)
5 y
Your evil. Simply put LT
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CPT Chris Loomis
CPT Chris Loomis
5 y
SFC MARC WAYMAN I'm a smooth talker too... LOL.
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SrA Explosive Ordnance Disposal
SrA (Join to see)
5 y
We got some guy with the HMMWV exhaust one, but they had to take the sample and deliver it to Trans in MOPP4.
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CPT Chris Loomis
CPT Chris Loomis
4 y
Ok. I have to add a few more that I recently pulled off.

Remember my disclaimer.

20. A friend of mine, the biggest practical joker of all time, that is a civilian LEO/Detective (and can receive personal mail at his dept.) recently retired from the Air Force Reserve after 25 years of service. As a joke I signed him up for recruitment information from the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, Army NG, Air Force NG, and even the Coast Guard via both postcard and Internet. About three months later he confided in me at lunch that he had received recruitment "propaganda" for some time that included DVDs and three different t-shirts. He went on to say that he believed he had narrowed down his suspects two three of his co-workers.... That's when I lost it and Pepsi shot out my nose! I confessed and we both had a good hearty laugh.

Incidentally, I have recently started receiving all manner of mailed information from religious groups. Everything from Hirachrishna and Scientology to Catholic Seminaries.

Touché!

21. The above victim was once upon a time my civilian LEO patrol car partner. I would often leave my can of Skoal in the center console of the car next to the radios and MDT/computer.

He once superglued the kid on the can. It took me about ten minutes to figure out what he had done....

22. The same victim in #20 drove a "beater" car to commute to and from work because it was the cheapest was to make his 130 mile round trip commute.

I snuck out to the car when he wasn't looking and tripwired an M118 simulator to the cars door so when he opened the door to leave that night it'd go off about in some bushes about 25' away.

23. I don't like snakes. I'll courageously deal with them if I have to, but otherwise give them a far distance. The victim in #22 above once coiled a (come to later find out) dead rattlesnake in plain view on the front seat of my truck. I was so freaked out that I called the local animal control officer to come get it with his "snake stick."

..... Just a few more jokes to pass along..... Be careful out there! And, don't try this at home!
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