Posted on Mar 21, 2016
A Veteran's Response to: “Thank You For Your Service”
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The first time someone thanked me for my service, I was a little stunned – I had no idea how to respond. My first reaction was to say “Thank you”, but no, that wasn’t right; “It was my pleasure” was not exactly accurate either.
“Umm, you’re welcome?”
I had been out of the Navy already for probably ten years, and I had not heard this before. When I first got out, “Thank you for your service” was not a thing. It was just not something that civilians would really have noticed, let alone something for which they would have considered thanking me. No matter how proud I was to have served, to them it was just something to put on my resume.
These days, of course, people say it all the time. Everyone says it. In fact, it’s pretty much a pat response. “I was in the Navy.” “Thank You For Your Service. Now where were we?” Indeed, since it is used so much, I sometimes wonder if it’s become passé. Has it come to the point where “Thank You For Your Service” is akin to “Have a nice day.” or “Hi, how are you?”
Do people even realize what it is they’re thanking me for?
I’m sure my experience was much like a lot of others. Not all, but a lot of us joined because we saw no future for ourselves otherwise. Don’t get me wrong – I was a smart kid who got pretty good grades and could have gone to college. My parents, however, were not financially able to pay for college, or even get loans for me to go to college, and I knew it. And because of our low economic status - or perhaps because my high school academic counselor was getting ready to retire and was just plain tired – I had no idea there were grants and loans I could get with a less than stellar academic record. This was when the internet was still in its infancy, and I thought that unless I had a GPA of 3.8 or higher (which I did not, due to some poor choices I’d made during my Junior year), I would not qualify for financial assistance. I didn’t even bother taking the SATs. So, facing a future in which I delivered pizzas or waited tables to support myself and any hypothetical family I might have, I decided to join the Navy.
At the time (I was 19), I didn’t realize that I was signing up to give up everything in service to my country; that I was signing up to live in the same room with 55 other girls and only one bathroom with no doors on the stalls. To spend 20 hours a day studying, running, doing 8-Count Body Builders, folding my clothes just right, and NOT talking to boys for what seemed like an eternity. And it honestly just did not occur to me that I was signing up to risk my life to protect the freedoms, the lifestyles, and the dreams of millions of strangers – of millions of Americans. But that’s what I did. That’s what we all did. And I realized it soon enough. Most, if not all, servicemen and women can tell you about friends they’ve lost to war, about dreams they’ve lost in service, and relationships they’ve lost to long separations. They can tell you stories of trauma, of fear, and of heartbreak. We gave up our freedom, our option to choose, our chance for a normal life, and, for some of us, our very lives, to protect those very same freedoms for millions of people we did not know, and would never know.
But for everything we lost to the military, the military gave us so much more in return. It gave us a sense of pride, a sense of honor, and a sense of ourselves that no one else can even imagine. Because of what we gave up, what we sacrificed, because of what we’ve learned, and seen, and done, we are so much more than we could have been. We are not only military, or former military, we are a unit, a brotherhood, a family, and nothing can take that away.
So, for everyone out there who says “Thank You For Your Service”, even if you don’t know exactly what it is you’re thanking me for - “You’re welcome.”
“Umm, you’re welcome?”
I had been out of the Navy already for probably ten years, and I had not heard this before. When I first got out, “Thank you for your service” was not a thing. It was just not something that civilians would really have noticed, let alone something for which they would have considered thanking me. No matter how proud I was to have served, to them it was just something to put on my resume.
These days, of course, people say it all the time. Everyone says it. In fact, it’s pretty much a pat response. “I was in the Navy.” “Thank You For Your Service. Now where were we?” Indeed, since it is used so much, I sometimes wonder if it’s become passé. Has it come to the point where “Thank You For Your Service” is akin to “Have a nice day.” or “Hi, how are you?”
Do people even realize what it is they’re thanking me for?
I’m sure my experience was much like a lot of others. Not all, but a lot of us joined because we saw no future for ourselves otherwise. Don’t get me wrong – I was a smart kid who got pretty good grades and could have gone to college. My parents, however, were not financially able to pay for college, or even get loans for me to go to college, and I knew it. And because of our low economic status - or perhaps because my high school academic counselor was getting ready to retire and was just plain tired – I had no idea there were grants and loans I could get with a less than stellar academic record. This was when the internet was still in its infancy, and I thought that unless I had a GPA of 3.8 or higher (which I did not, due to some poor choices I’d made during my Junior year), I would not qualify for financial assistance. I didn’t even bother taking the SATs. So, facing a future in which I delivered pizzas or waited tables to support myself and any hypothetical family I might have, I decided to join the Navy.
At the time (I was 19), I didn’t realize that I was signing up to give up everything in service to my country; that I was signing up to live in the same room with 55 other girls and only one bathroom with no doors on the stalls. To spend 20 hours a day studying, running, doing 8-Count Body Builders, folding my clothes just right, and NOT talking to boys for what seemed like an eternity. And it honestly just did not occur to me that I was signing up to risk my life to protect the freedoms, the lifestyles, and the dreams of millions of strangers – of millions of Americans. But that’s what I did. That’s what we all did. And I realized it soon enough. Most, if not all, servicemen and women can tell you about friends they’ve lost to war, about dreams they’ve lost in service, and relationships they’ve lost to long separations. They can tell you stories of trauma, of fear, and of heartbreak. We gave up our freedom, our option to choose, our chance for a normal life, and, for some of us, our very lives, to protect those very same freedoms for millions of people we did not know, and would never know.
But for everything we lost to the military, the military gave us so much more in return. It gave us a sense of pride, a sense of honor, and a sense of ourselves that no one else can even imagine. Because of what we gave up, what we sacrificed, because of what we’ve learned, and seen, and done, we are so much more than we could have been. We are not only military, or former military, we are a unit, a brotherhood, a family, and nothing can take that away.
So, for everyone out there who says “Thank You For Your Service”, even if you don’t know exactly what it is you’re thanking me for - “You’re welcome.”
Posted 8 y ago
Responses: 236
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MAJ Jeffrey Johnson
I always thank them and point out that our younger vets are more deserving than I. I only deployed once in 24 years of Regular service. Then I tell them that I was an eight year-old who found a way to get paid for not growing up!
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SPC Christopher Haynes
I say the exact same thing!! "It was my honor to serve this great nation and it's people like yourself."
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SSgt Danny Watson
I can tell those that give a genuine "Thank You" and the ones being passé. Regardless I always thank them for their support or tell them it was a great honor to serve.
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SP5 Roger Hurst
I served in Vietnam and as you all probably know, we got a terrible response from everyone. Now days I like to hear it as I never did, in the past 50 years. If I see someome with a Veterans hat, I always say "Welcome Home". We all like that
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CPT Anthony Meli
Initially I was at a loss but the more I thought about it I realized It was a privilege for me to serve. So I now respond it was my privilege.
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SGT Terry Brown
It was my privilege and honor to serve.i also served in Nam and it was not a good time to serve but I am proud that I did what I did because I love this country and I felt an obligation to serve just as my father did in WW11.Gog bless this wonderful country.
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SP5 Tom Manning
SSG Bob Teachout - SSGT i think your response is outstanding and if you dont mind i would be honored if i could start using it .
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SSG Bob Teachout
SP5 Tom Manning - I am very humbled at your request- And I will be honored each time you do so. ( [login to see] )
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SGM Michael Culbertson
I heard a retired Air Force NCO say, "Thank you for your support." I thought that was a perfect response, so I've been using it ever since.
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SGT Lorenzo Nieto
As a Vietnam veteran After 54 years later I have had one person walk up to me and shake my had and say thank you for your service I was were my Vietnam veterans hat it felt good to,I served my country when she called, now that I am 73yrs I would do it again. I never really looked for thanks I just thought this is what we do as Americans.
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PO1 Redone Heart
SCPO Rick Hunter - I'm with you Senior Chief and SGT Nieto. When I see a veteran with a Vietnam cover, I always go up and say "Welcome Home Brother"
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You could respond with "Thank you for your service as well." If they respond that they never served, then remind them that there are other ways to serve than being in the military. Teachers, police, firefighters, volunteers at the local soup kitchen, we all can and should serve.
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MAJ Karl Swenson
SSgt Jon Hall - First of all, thank you for your service! What you gave is meaningful in the grand scheme of things.
My concern with your post has to do with your perception of why others may not have served. We do not know why others did not answer the call and to presuppose that they are "shit birds" because that is not acceptable. Maybe they didn't serve because the business they owned or worked in may have failed if they left. Maybe they were taking care of an ailing family member and couldn't leave. Or maybe they were not physically able to join the service because of a preexisting condition. There could have been a thousand valid reasons for a person not serving. You and I chose to do so. That doesn't make them any better or worse than us.
We have no requirement in this country to perform public service - that is one of the perks of living in a republic. those that can serve, do. Those who choose not to don't deserve to be called "shit birds" just because they don't. Lighten up, my friend! There are some people out there who are truly thankful for what you have given; let them thank you in their own way, and be humble enough to accept it. And just be glad that today is not the same as 1970 when coming home from Vietnam meant the possibility of ridicule and abuse.
My concern with your post has to do with your perception of why others may not have served. We do not know why others did not answer the call and to presuppose that they are "shit birds" because that is not acceptable. Maybe they didn't serve because the business they owned or worked in may have failed if they left. Maybe they were taking care of an ailing family member and couldn't leave. Or maybe they were not physically able to join the service because of a preexisting condition. There could have been a thousand valid reasons for a person not serving. You and I chose to do so. That doesn't make them any better or worse than us.
We have no requirement in this country to perform public service - that is one of the perks of living in a republic. those that can serve, do. Those who choose not to don't deserve to be called "shit birds" just because they don't. Lighten up, my friend! There are some people out there who are truly thankful for what you have given; let them thank you in their own way, and be humble enough to accept it. And just be glad that today is not the same as 1970 when coming home from Vietnam meant the possibility of ridicule and abuse.
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SSgt Jon Hall
MAJ Karl Swenson I'm completely familiar with life conditions that that you exampled that would prevent certain types of public service. That's not who I'm talking about. You apparently are comfortable with folks who have no sense of duty or obligation to pay back for the privileged life in this country. I work with people who have all kinds of cituations and they manage to make a contribution even though they're not officially required to. Having said that I have no patience with self declared dead beats. Don't like being laughed at like anyone who contributes are fools while they wipe the provided milk and honey from their chin. I've seen illegal aliens that have more respect and sense of duty. You mentioned being dissed returning from Vietnam Nam. If that's the worst you've thought ever been exposed to your lucky. I could write a book but no matter those things have not changed my attitude towards making things better. There are no excuses for not making at least some minimal effort. Guess I was raised with a different set of values and expectations.
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TSgt James Warfield
Thanks very well said, and I agree with what you said. In fact that is what I do most of time.
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A1C Jennifer Israel
This is absolutely true!!!!! And gets the whole community involved in working together bringing us closer to have more to relate to !!!
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I have run into a number of people who are not just paying lip service. When someone thanks me, I typically respond with, "Thank you. It is an honor to serve." Sometimes I tell them that they made my day. If it is a Vietnam veteran, I usually thank them for their support a little more fervently because they had such a hard time when they came home. Whoever it is, I always take the time to acknowledge their gratitude.
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SSgt Paul Murray
That's why I think it is important to salute IN CIVILIAN CLOTHES while saying the pledge and while our National Anthem is being played. We have been given that option for many years.
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PO3 Jerry Davis
I know that we have been given that option, and I do, when I wear a hat (i.e. "covered"). I am not clear as to whether I should do that if I am not "covered" at that moment, or should do the hand over heart instead.
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MSgt Kerry Lundy
SSgt Paul Murray - When I hear the National Anthem if I am outside I face the music and salute. I would get some strange looks at high school sporting events when this happened. It is a way we vets can honor those who went before us as well as to honor our great country.
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And thanks to you PO3 Celesta (Fox,Parks) Davis for your service. I believe that most people really appreciate what you did and the sacrifices you made, even if they do not fully understand or quite realize what you went through and what you signed up for. What you say is very true and all of us can take it to heart.
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My response is generally the following: Thank you for the support! I have never understood why people have issues with being thanked but it never occurred to me to say anything other than you're welcome and what I provided above. I like to say thank you for the support to let them know I acknowledged their thank you and appreciate their taking the time to say it.
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My comment back was: you are welcome. Keep it simple. Remember the acronym KISS.
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I am still sometimes a little at a loss as to what to say when people thank me for my service but I do always thank them. I do appreciate it. It is so different from what I heard for many years. I still remember being called "baby killer" and worse and having to repaint my car because such comments were twice scratched into my paint. It wasn't until 2006 that I actually felt safe to put veteran's license plates on my car and to wear an Army ball cap. I didn't understand why so many people hated us so much for doing what I thought was our duty as Americans. Having several family members who are currently career military and one who recently retired I am glad that they did not have to be subjected to such and I sincerely hope that our service men and women never are in the future.
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SGT Philip Roncari
I feel the same way having returned from Vietnam in 1967 ,but I think this is a good thing for our current military and veterans because they have earned It and should be thanked for their service, welcome home brother
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PO3 Celesta (Fox,Parks) Davis
I'm sorry you had to endure that. I was involved in the planning for a religious event one time when the Officiant requested we say a prayer for our military men and women. One member said she would NOT say a prayer for "those baby killers, because they don't deserve forgiveness." And she ended up leaving the organization altogether, because, she had nor realized prior to that point, that most of us on the hierarchy of that organization were (at that time) current or prior military.
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SSgt Paul Murray
PO3 Celesta (Fox,Parks) Davis - Westboro Baptist Church Member? If you read their history, they called our brothers and sisters faggots and damned them at funerals until laws were passed prohibiting such and the Patriot Guard Riders were formed, of which I've been a member for over 7 yrs.
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"We appreciate your support" is my typical response.
I think the awkwardness many of us feel around this expression of gratitude has its roots in two things. First is that, in my opinion, service members are usually humble. So, being thanked for something we consider to be our job almost seems unnecessary. Secondly (and maybe tied to the first) is the power/rank structure of the military. We were never thanked for finishing BT, were only pushed harder (again without thanks) to score high on PT tests, and so on.
When we're thanked for our service, people are showing their appreciation for all of those things we were never thanked for within the ranks. So, take it and tell them that you appreciate their support!
I think the awkwardness many of us feel around this expression of gratitude has its roots in two things. First is that, in my opinion, service members are usually humble. So, being thanked for something we consider to be our job almost seems unnecessary. Secondly (and maybe tied to the first) is the power/rank structure of the military. We were never thanked for finishing BT, were only pushed harder (again without thanks) to score high on PT tests, and so on.
When we're thanked for our service, people are showing their appreciation for all of those things we were never thanked for within the ranks. So, take it and tell them that you appreciate their support!
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PO2 Kriss Sprinkle
Thanks for your comment. Explains why it always caught me up to hear those words, Thank you, spoken to me. As you point out sometimes a thankless job, we continued to push on and do our duty. Also my service was 1980-1986 and so much has happened since then. I do appreciate the sentiment when it is given.
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