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As most of you know, in my limited spare time, I work as an advocate for Veterans trying to bridge the gap between civilians and Veterans. It is no secret that this gap exists and, in some areas, is very hard to cross. One of the topics that come up a lot is that of PTSD, or PTS if you prefer. As a Veteran who deals with the daily struggles of this issue, I feel that it is important for civilians to see us for who we really are and not these crazy, overly sensitive people who will snap at any second.
Earlier today, I was talking with a friend of mine and we started to discuss the subject of PTSD. During this conversation, this friend of mine, Casey, shared with me her personal view on what could be a leading cause for the development of PTSD in some people. She said the following:
"It's my personal opinion that the prevalence of PTSD is in part due to a lack of problem solving skills in every day life and a lack of proper coping mechanisms. People don't deal with true 'hardships' in life anymore. The idea of a horrible day is when you get a flat tire or something. People used to lose some of their children and people died from things like pneumonia all the time."
After seeing this, I stopped and went through it again. And I found what she said to be pretty fair and thought provoking. Have we, as country, lost touch with "real problems"? You see #FirstWorldProblems used to describe issues that people are facing, normally as a joke. Does this make us mentally weaker and make it harder to deal with some of the world's true hardships? While death is an everyday occurrence, the way in which it is seen in combat is unlike anything most people will ever see. War is truly humanity at its worse. Hunger, disease, poverty, are seen everyday but for the majority of us, we rarely have to deal with it directly. It is a 30 second commercial on TV or one person standing on the side of the road with a cardboard sign. Then, we are thrown into combat where we are forced to face such things. We are asked to not just deal it, but to thrive in it.
Then following our 12, 16, 18 months in combat, we are returned to our normal, boring lives where these issues are once again seen from our couch or in passing. We are left to process everything we saw, smelled, and heard and make sense out of all the craziness in our once "normal" but now abnormal world. People are talking about #FirstWorldProblems while never having seen the things we have. Never dealt with what we had to deal with. Never forced to thrive in ways we had to thrive. For some, the closest they have been to seeing a disease take a family member is during a game of Oregon Trail. We, as veterans, find ourselves unable to make sense of this all.
PTSD is one of those things the medical community finds hard to explain. Why is it that two people can go through the same event but both come out of it differently. Is it from a lack of exposure to real world problems? How can we best live and raise the next generation to better understand the world outside of their well manicured lawns and big TVs and iPads?
Earlier today, I was talking with a friend of mine and we started to discuss the subject of PTSD. During this conversation, this friend of mine, Casey, shared with me her personal view on what could be a leading cause for the development of PTSD in some people. She said the following:
"It's my personal opinion that the prevalence of PTSD is in part due to a lack of problem solving skills in every day life and a lack of proper coping mechanisms. People don't deal with true 'hardships' in life anymore. The idea of a horrible day is when you get a flat tire or something. People used to lose some of their children and people died from things like pneumonia all the time."
After seeing this, I stopped and went through it again. And I found what she said to be pretty fair and thought provoking. Have we, as country, lost touch with "real problems"? You see #FirstWorldProblems used to describe issues that people are facing, normally as a joke. Does this make us mentally weaker and make it harder to deal with some of the world's true hardships? While death is an everyday occurrence, the way in which it is seen in combat is unlike anything most people will ever see. War is truly humanity at its worse. Hunger, disease, poverty, are seen everyday but for the majority of us, we rarely have to deal with it directly. It is a 30 second commercial on TV or one person standing on the side of the road with a cardboard sign. Then, we are thrown into combat where we are forced to face such things. We are asked to not just deal it, but to thrive in it.
Then following our 12, 16, 18 months in combat, we are returned to our normal, boring lives where these issues are once again seen from our couch or in passing. We are left to process everything we saw, smelled, and heard and make sense out of all the craziness in our once "normal" but now abnormal world. People are talking about #FirstWorldProblems while never having seen the things we have. Never dealt with what we had to deal with. Never forced to thrive in ways we had to thrive. For some, the closest they have been to seeing a disease take a family member is during a game of Oregon Trail. We, as veterans, find ourselves unable to make sense of this all.
PTSD is one of those things the medical community finds hard to explain. Why is it that two people can go through the same event but both come out of it differently. Is it from a lack of exposure to real world problems? How can we best live and raise the next generation to better understand the world outside of their well manicured lawns and big TVs and iPads?
Command Post
PTSD
Mental Health
Military Life
Combat
Posted 8 y ago
Responses: 19
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SGT Ben Keen Most people do not see "violent death" or dismembered bodies and their "everyday " problems are priorities,as they should be.But combat soldiers see more than violent death,they see people trying to exist in areas where their lives and livelihood is threatened daily.Also we see people starving ,living in real poverty,without clean water,electricity,etc.all the things we take for granted here.Gives us a different perspective of what is important and causes mental anguish when someone is whining about their steak being too tough.
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Sgt (Join to see)
SSgt Terry P. Exactly. I have a very low tolerance for B.S. after the things that I have seen. War changes us and gives us a much different perspective than people complaining or just talking about petty stupid stuff.
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Veterans that live with Post Traumatic Stress (PTS) every day of their lives, are experiencing a very normal reaction to very abnormal experiences. It is about bridging the gap to find ways to manage, adjust, and improve on the lives of those living with PTS. This way they can not just survive, but thrive and start living again.
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SGT Ben Keen
Great comments CSM (Join to see)! You are right, it is about thriving! For the first two years, I did not do well with that part of the transition but thankfully I was able to get reengaged in the community and started to thrive. I think this the great thing about places like RallyPoint. Here people can connect with others, start getting engaged and hopefully start to thrive rather than just survive.
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SFC Richard Giles
One thing I am noticing a lot of is finding people who understand. Most doctors of any specialty haven't a clue what we are talking about when we go to them with our issues. I have had some issues since retiring that no doctor has been able to help me with other then giving cookie cutter answers. Luckily I have a very understanding fiancé who is willing to listen and not judge. So that has helped a lot. Support groups help to some degree I believe, but as you said SGT Keen getting reengaged in the community and finding a hobby helps as well.
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I have never been in combat. But I saw my son get hit and killed by a car. Everybody was concerned about me being depressed or having PTSD. I was certainly much more quiet and tended to isolate from everyone but my wife and daughter. I did not keep up with my normal household duties except bringing in a paycheck. I slept a lot. I stared off into space a lot and didn't realize the passage of time. I wasn't mean or abusive. But I wasn't a happy person, and I clearly would not remain anywhere people were happy. This went on for about a month and a half. I finally agreed to go to grievance counseling provided by the county.
The first thing out of the social workers mouth was "You and your wife have less than a 15% chance of being married two years from now". That pissed me off. I was not going to allow another casualty in my life. I stood up, took my wife's hand and said "this fool has nothing to offer us". We left. And everybody put up with the change in my personality. It became the new norm. In retrospect if something had not changed the counselor was probably right.
Then my wife's Maternal Grandfather and her Dad visited. Grandpa Spence was a man I greatly admired and loved to spend time with. He was a WWII vet and served in Patton's 3rd Army. He sat down opposite me, knee to knee and told me to look him in the eyes. Grandpa Spence was a man who never swore, never frowned, never got angry. This to the best of my memory is what happened:
He slapped me hard. "Do I have your f_____g attention you sorry sack of s__t?! You better knock this crap off or I will thrash you to an inch of your life. You have a wife that needs you. You have a daughter that needs you. If you are not going to BE a man, ACT like one." Then stood up and he slapped me again, so hard I almost fell out of the chair. I was stunned. "I'll be back to take Kim and Jennilynn home with me the first time someone tells me you've crawled back into this shell".
I know the Patton approach is not in favor and probably dangerous. Grandpa Spence knew me, he may have been much more circumspect with someone he did not know. But in my case it worked. I won't say I was all better. But I faked it until I made it. I wasn't even willing to fake it before he demanded it.
My Dad was in the Navy and a combat pilot for WWII, Korea and in theater for Viet Nam. He held that it was much harder for Korea Vets and Viet Nam vets to integrate back into society than WWII vets because they were denied victory in a war they felt they were winning. Is it possible that rotating people out of the combat zone, bringing them home before victory is achieved, we cause even more confusion in their soul. Is it possible that trying to bring home to them in theater we do not allow them to be in a dissociative state from which recovery is easier? I'm not stating this as fact. I'm not trying to bring down the wrath of PTSD advocates. I'm just trying to understand why this problem seems so much worse than what were told about in history.
It seems that what we are doing now does not work. Are the statistics actually better or worse than other conflicts in our history, If so why? No mass solution will catch everyone that is falling. But is it time to re-evaluate and redirect?
The first thing out of the social workers mouth was "You and your wife have less than a 15% chance of being married two years from now". That pissed me off. I was not going to allow another casualty in my life. I stood up, took my wife's hand and said "this fool has nothing to offer us". We left. And everybody put up with the change in my personality. It became the new norm. In retrospect if something had not changed the counselor was probably right.
Then my wife's Maternal Grandfather and her Dad visited. Grandpa Spence was a man I greatly admired and loved to spend time with. He was a WWII vet and served in Patton's 3rd Army. He sat down opposite me, knee to knee and told me to look him in the eyes. Grandpa Spence was a man who never swore, never frowned, never got angry. This to the best of my memory is what happened:
He slapped me hard. "Do I have your f_____g attention you sorry sack of s__t?! You better knock this crap off or I will thrash you to an inch of your life. You have a wife that needs you. You have a daughter that needs you. If you are not going to BE a man, ACT like one." Then stood up and he slapped me again, so hard I almost fell out of the chair. I was stunned. "I'll be back to take Kim and Jennilynn home with me the first time someone tells me you've crawled back into this shell".
I know the Patton approach is not in favor and probably dangerous. Grandpa Spence knew me, he may have been much more circumspect with someone he did not know. But in my case it worked. I won't say I was all better. But I faked it until I made it. I wasn't even willing to fake it before he demanded it.
My Dad was in the Navy and a combat pilot for WWII, Korea and in theater for Viet Nam. He held that it was much harder for Korea Vets and Viet Nam vets to integrate back into society than WWII vets because they were denied victory in a war they felt they were winning. Is it possible that rotating people out of the combat zone, bringing them home before victory is achieved, we cause even more confusion in their soul. Is it possible that trying to bring home to them in theater we do not allow them to be in a dissociative state from which recovery is easier? I'm not stating this as fact. I'm not trying to bring down the wrath of PTSD advocates. I'm just trying to understand why this problem seems so much worse than what were told about in history.
It seems that what we are doing now does not work. Are the statistics actually better or worse than other conflicts in our history, If so why? No mass solution will catch everyone that is falling. But is it time to re-evaluate and redirect?
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SPC David S.
Sir sorry for your loss and thank you for being so open and sharing this rather difficult point in your life. I agree as well that we need to look at all the factors in this to get a better understanding of how combat exposure effects individuals. However mitigating such effects or war might only encourage exceedingly egregious behavior.
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