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Command Post What is this?
Posted on Sep 7, 2021
SGT Kurt Power
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Lt Col Charlie Brown
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Thank you for what you are doing to highlight this. What you observed is correct, imo. Those who were still busy did better but most of us struggled and thought we were the only ones....
Not so.
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SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth
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Thank you brother SGT Kurt Power for the great life share here, I know of far too many that decided to follow their battle buddies to Vallhalla.
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PO1 James Akins
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I'm glad you took on the mission to provide motivational kick in the ass to talk about suicide. This is a very personal issue with me and if it wasn't for the "VA" and my primary care provider wouldn't had the courage to seek help. She asked me how I was feeling mentally, I informed her that I had an a feeling of being lost and hopeless and an underlying anger that just wouldn't go away and didn't know what was causing it. We talked about it, and finally we set up an appointment for me to see some one. Well the pandemic just started, there were no face visits only phone or zoom call options. I prefer face to face, tried the phone call to discuss my situation but didn't feel right about it then tried zoom call that didn't work so we drifted apart. I later sought consul with the "VA" again and this time I was put on a low dose anti-depressant which should've helped me and I then dealt with my anxiety issues by just diving into my work, worked many a long day, came home completed what needed to be done and how they say it rinse and repeat. I for a time due to the distractions of work and home life and anti-depressant for my anxiety issues was able to maintain but subconsciously they got worse.
I kept a daily journal of what I did and thought and I got to the point where I stopped writing in it because it was to hard to read my written thoughts. I got to the point where I was sleeping only four hours a day and would wakeup after two hours for a short time and then go back to sleep. I got to the point where I lost faith in my life, felt there was no purpose, that I didn't matter, all I was doing was providing someone else's amusement in my disparity. I even had a plan, being diabetic, using a fast acting insulin as part of my daily diabetes manage and knowing using to much at one time could literally kill you, I thought about what it would take to do it.
I finally sought out consul from the "VA", got reconnected to a real good social worker, real good pharmacist which put me on a different anti-depressant and was able to start rebuilding my mental life. My "VA" social worker helped me get to root of my anxiety and how to deal with it and the new anti-depressant I'm on makes me feel better.
I cleared my mind of the old thoughts, burned my personal journal, quit my highly stressful and personally unfulfilling job and cleared my plate. What I learned from this was I have worked non stop, took care of everyone else but me and my body and mind let me know, but I ignored the signs and put on a mask to fit in.
I know this is a kind of long story but I can attest to other military and civilian people that was and is afflicted by some sort of mental illness, its real and there it affects everyone. I saw all the suicide posted signs and ads and there was a few times I even had the "VA" suicide hotline number typed into my phone but didn't call them because that would admit to me that I was weak and defeated. I learned after all this a person needs to talk to someone or if you keep burying your thoughts they will become actions and the results are not what you expect.
I really want to thank the "VA" health care system because my quality of life has gotten better and they were there when I needed them.
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