Posted on Jan 31, 2014
SPC Squad Member
820K
3.39K
716
168
168
0
4560178391_8776996456_o
This isn't limited to what you've heard but it could also include what you've said.

DS: "Did you buy my action figure at Wal-Mart?"
Private: "No drill sergeant!"
DS: "Then why are you playin' with me?!"
Avatar_feed
Responses: 385
MAJ(P) Operations Research/Systems Analysis
187
187
0
When I enlisted, I was brought into the Army by my mother's then-boyfriend who was a recruiter at the time.

During my 10 month AIT, he called me at the CQ desk to check up on me. When the DS asked who he was, I told him the situation.

He smiled at me and said, "That's messed up Blakeslee. First he f**ks you, now he's f**king your mother."

Funniest. Private. Moment. Ever.
(187)
Comment
(0)
CPO Randy Francis
CPO Randy Francis
5 y
I will stick my boot so far up your ass that your breath will smell like Kiwi.
(4)
Reply
(0)
CPL Horizontal Construction Engineer
CPL (Join to see)
5 y
I was with my platoon getting acquainted with the sidewalk doing "mountain climbers". I was tired of the shit so I jumped up to attention and stood there the my DS screamed asking me what I was doing "fornicating with fido"? I responded with "I have reached the TOP", After a pause of bewilderment and then amusement he responded with "TURN AROUND AND CLIMB YOUR ASS DOWN THE OTHER SIDE."
(25)
Reply
(0)
Specialist Teacher Primary And Secondary
(Join to see)
>1 y
SGT Jeff Wilkinson - i feel like using that but i can't. ...im a teacher
(1)
Reply
(0)
PFC Zanie Young
PFC Zanie Young
7 mo
ROFL! Classic!
(0)
Reply
(0)
Avatar_small
Maj Fred Graham
157
157
0
Going thru tight meals in DFAC during basic (attention, one step forward, back to attention, then parade rest). A female drill instructor questioned the guy in front of me about the accuracy of his "parade rest" position. She was all up in his face and screamed, "Mister, is that 12 inches between your legs?"
We did really well to hold ourselves together. That is, right up to the point another drill instructor broke the strained silence by bursting into laughter. We all just came apart! Needless to say, we didn't get to eat lunch. But that afternoon of physical torture really brought us together as a team so it was worth every drop of sweat.
(157)
Comment
(0)
PFC Zanie Young
PFC Zanie Young
7 mo
ROFL! She walked into that one!
(2)
Reply
(0)
CPL Joseph Elinger
CPL Joseph Elinger
5 mo
OMG, She didn't!
(0)
Reply
(0)
CPL Joseph Elinger
CPL Joseph Elinger
5 mo
PFC Zanie Young Like a minefield!
(0)
Reply
(0)
SGT Jd Creager
SGT Jd Creager
4 mo
I had a Drill ask me the same thing. I said Hell yes it is have you been peaking at me in the shower. Needless to say I pushed the floor and and it never moved.
(2)
Reply
(0)
Avatar_small
SSG Zachery Mitchell
104
104
0
Edited >1 y ago
<p>This happened to a guy I was in Basic with while we were on range detail. One of the funniest things I've ever witnessed. </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>DS: "Beat your face private" </p><p>Private "Uhmm Drill Sergeant?"</p><p>DS: "I said beat your face private!"</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Private then proceeds to slap himself in the face slowly but repeatedly about 3 or 4 times until the DS notices. </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>DS: "what the hell are you doing private?"</p><p>Private: "You told me to beat my face Drill Sergeant"</p><p>DS: "I meant do push ups. what the hell? That's one of the funniest things I've ever seen. get out of my face private." </p>
(104)
Comment
(0)
SGT JayMichael Neill
SGT JayMichael Neill
>1 y
Wow, similar story happened in my unit E/co 1-81 Ft Knox Ky. Guy starts beating his face literally! Of course the DS calls other DS's over and tell them to tell the Private to beat his face!
(6)
Reply
(0)
PV2 David Mangold
PV2 David Mangold
>1 y
lol SPC Neil Hood - I had the unfortunate experience of being diagnosed with colitis while in BCT. Upon returning from an FTX they announced a health and welfare inspection. Not a big a deal except for the fact that I had been constipated for 3 or 4 days. Waiting in formation my bowels decide that it was a good time to vacate. A DS, noticing my discomfort, comes to me and asks why the f I was squirming in his formation. I replied, "Drill Sergeant, I have to make a BM." To which he responds, "A BM? Private, I know we like acronyms around here, but are trying to tell me that you've got to poop?" He pauses, then continues, "Well you better just sh*t right here 'cause there's no way you're leaving my formation."
All I could do was say, "Yes Drill Sergeant!"
But no sooner than he was able to make an about face did I hear and feel a thunderous gurgle coming from my gut and, long story short, I "sh*t right here."
(14)
Reply
(0)
SGT Randall Bennett
SGT Randall Bennett
>1 y
I saw the same thing in basic.....that boy was so dumb
(4)
Reply
(0)
MAJ Health Services Human Resources Manager (S1 Oic)
MAJ (Join to see)
>1 y
I did that to my DS... and he kept me continue doing it. He just walked away.
(1)
Reply
(0)
Avatar_small

Join nearly 2 million former and current members of the US military, just like you.

close