Have you ever felt like you were faking it until you made it in a leadership role? How did transitioning (becoming a PL/SL/PSG/CO) affect it?

Unlike most of these other gentlemen, each new role has required me to fake it at least for a little while. 50% of what I know as a NCO, I taught myself. 30% of what I know came from the what 'not' to do from poor leaders. The remaining 20% came from actual mentorship. Previous leadership positions could have been much easier with a mentor instead of a 1sg who tells me to "google my job" or gives a round about answer when directly asked. This I speak about from the NCO side of the house, in terms of officers I had one great CO who showed everyone what to do by his actions, the rest were just waiting to become XOs.

My biggest fear always was I good enough to lead the ones working for and with me. Decisions way heavy when you are in charge of others Lives.

Every. Single. Day.

I am completely and totally uncomfortable leading. Full stop. As a SPC, I had to be ordered to attend the promotion board. I signed at least 5 dec statements for centralized promotions. I was (and still am) fully capable of providing good-to-great leadership.

But that is and was a large part of my problem. Our Soldiers don't deserve good-to-great leadership. They deserve OUTSTANDING leadership. I was above average, often well above average. But unless I was the best possible leader, then I wasn't as good as my Soldiers deserved.

So, yes, every single day, I felt like I was taking it. I was pretending to be the leader my Soldiers deserved. I continuously worked to be that leader, but never made it.