Posted on Sep 19, 2017
Air Force announces 100% promotion rate to major, except for you, asshole
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Air Force announces 100% promotion rate to major, except for you, asshole
Posted from duffelblog.comPosted in these groups: 
Humor
Humor
Posted 7 y ago
Responses: 5
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When asked about the symbolism behind each officer rank, a grizzled SNCO replied:
"Well, first you have the bars for the Lieutenants. Made of gold or silver, showing how malleable they are. How much you shape them to be the fine young officers they will be.
The captains all have two silver bars. Still malleable, but more valuable than the lieutenants. Shows the time and investment put into them.
Our colonels have eagles, showing how they soar above their command, looking down over their troops with a watchful eye, ever protective of those they are charged with.
And the generals, of course, the stars in the heavens, shining down upon everything."
"But what about the majors?"
"Ah yes, the majors. That goes back even further, to Biblical times."
"How so?"
"Because just like Adam, we use leafs to cover our pricks."
Heard this joke a long while back, seemed like a good time to drag it out, heh. And yes, it's only intended as humor, I've known many fine fig... I mean, oak leafs in my time.
"Well, first you have the bars for the Lieutenants. Made of gold or silver, showing how malleable they are. How much you shape them to be the fine young officers they will be.
The captains all have two silver bars. Still malleable, but more valuable than the lieutenants. Shows the time and investment put into them.
Our colonels have eagles, showing how they soar above their command, looking down over their troops with a watchful eye, ever protective of those they are charged with.
And the generals, of course, the stars in the heavens, shining down upon everything."
"But what about the majors?"
"Ah yes, the majors. That goes back even further, to Biblical times."
"How so?"
"Because just like Adam, we use leafs to cover our pricks."
Heard this joke a long while back, seemed like a good time to drag it out, heh. And yes, it's only intended as humor, I've known many fine fig... I mean, oak leafs in my time.
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Maj Marty Hogan
SSgt Ryan Sylvester - I have 3 years to go but in the Guard and am sitting in am O5 billet. I will run out of available years to serve before O5 unless I am extremely lucky. Not complaining it has been a great ride.
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SSgt Ryan Sylvester
Maj Marty Hogan - That figures. Anything to save a buck. Stick a captain in a colonel slot, he'll do just fine and we don't gotta pay him as much! Win-win!
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Maj Marty Hogan
SSgt Ryan Sylvester - it does make for some awkward moments in meetings. As a maverick it is also hard to temper the crusty E7 answers out of me. Got much more accomplished as an enlisted guy and much less in the way of politics.
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SSgt Ryan Sylvester
Maj Marty Hogan - Tell me about it. I remember the days filling a billet well above the rank (E3 in an E6). Technically, I had officers above me, but the way it played out was that I pretty well answered right to the commander. Strange situation. Fun sometimes, though, when a two striper gets to say to a squadron commander, "It's just an exercise INFOCON, sir, tell your people to get their asses back to work."
Shoot, I was crusty enough as an E3. I almost shudder to think how I would have been if I'd lasted to E7...
Shoot, I was crusty enough as an E3. I almost shudder to think how I would have been if I'd lasted to E7...
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Can't be satire if their isn't a little bit of truth behind it...
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