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Posted >1 y ago
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Funny.
I took a somewhat less "blunt" approach...but I'd be lying if I said I didn't make it into my mid-30s as a single man because I was "selective".
For me, there were always three "no go's" that would either end a relationship...or prevent it from even getting off the ground:
1. Pettiness-I went on a few dates with women who seemed to think that the entire world was about them or their problems. It showed, I noticed, they got the "awkward" hug, dinner, and no second call.
2. Dishonesty-I swear I think I've heard it all. I'm no doctor, but even I can tell when someone is saying, "I think I'm already pregnant and you seem like a nice guy to help me out with that". Then there's the "I've been separated for three years" story...that then became a year...that then became ten months...which ended up actually being about a month.
3. Total Incompatibility-This is actually a very complex factor, because it covers so much. I'm not Brad Pitt (though I've never been ugly either)...so I wasn't looking for a "model" (though I've dated a few very good looking women who quickly fell into (1) or (2)). I'm sincerely religious...so that was important; though different views sometimes result in a more accurate/meaningful faith. I wanted someone with the same basic interests, ambitions and desires. I could write a book (or three) on it.
Ultimately, when I finally found her, she was a woman who had compassion deeper than oceans...integrity and frankness rivaling my own...and a personality as rich, complex and mature as anyone I'd ever dreamed of. I walked down the aisle with total confidence...and I'm sure I'm with the woman who I'll love throughout the rest of my life.
I took a somewhat less "blunt" approach...but I'd be lying if I said I didn't make it into my mid-30s as a single man because I was "selective".
For me, there were always three "no go's" that would either end a relationship...or prevent it from even getting off the ground:
1. Pettiness-I went on a few dates with women who seemed to think that the entire world was about them or their problems. It showed, I noticed, they got the "awkward" hug, dinner, and no second call.
2. Dishonesty-I swear I think I've heard it all. I'm no doctor, but even I can tell when someone is saying, "I think I'm already pregnant and you seem like a nice guy to help me out with that". Then there's the "I've been separated for three years" story...that then became a year...that then became ten months...which ended up actually being about a month.
3. Total Incompatibility-This is actually a very complex factor, because it covers so much. I'm not Brad Pitt (though I've never been ugly either)...so I wasn't looking for a "model" (though I've dated a few very good looking women who quickly fell into (1) or (2)). I'm sincerely religious...so that was important; though different views sometimes result in a more accurate/meaningful faith. I wanted someone with the same basic interests, ambitions and desires. I could write a book (or three) on it.
Ultimately, when I finally found her, she was a woman who had compassion deeper than oceans...integrity and frankness rivaling my own...and a personality as rich, complex and mature as anyone I'd ever dreamed of. I walked down the aisle with total confidence...and I'm sure I'm with the woman who I'll love throughout the rest of my life.
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Yep-She had some pretty tough standards of her own...one of these days, I might just be half the man she seems to believe I am.
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