Single Sailors Think Navy Hinders Likelihood of Marriage, Survey Says

Well..yeah.

There is a myth that says we can have our cake and eat it too. It's why so much is done to "brand" military service as a an opportunity to acquire "iron clad" professional skills, put away "loads of mad cash", and do lots of super-"cool" things, all in the name of freedom, justice and the American way.

To some extent, all of the above is potentially true...but at varying levels of cost that's not usually covered in the recruiting videos.

I always tell kids who ask me about joining the Navy that they have two basic choices to make; do they want to become Sailors to improve their futures once out of the Military...or do they want to become professionals within the Military? The former includes the discipline to realize that you've only a limited amount of time to choose a rate that offers the best direct paths to future job markets, and a complex landscape of possible benefits to manage all containing specific time constraints for eligibility and applicability...none of which really lends itself to much of a life on the "outside" until then. For the latter, I always advise them to consider career paths that offer stable opportunities to advance, perform and develop professionally. Marriage, when it comes...should be to someone who understands and appreciates the sacrifices needed to make it twenty, if not thirty years.

Both probably include a mindset that accepts some deviations from the "normal" notions of what makes a relationship work. There needs to be immense levels of commitment and loyalty to survive the separations and the temptations...an inexhaustible level of patience and forgiveness to deal with instances where failure is inevitable...and a focus on each others' importance to the greater picture.

My wife has often remarked that there's little doubt she'd have never married me if we had met when I was still active duty...but that she thinks she could survive it now, having got to know the "real" me better over the years.

OK, this is a SURVEY...but what do the actual STATISTICS say?

Because, despite 52% of unmarried women and 45% of unmarried men SAYING being in the Navy decreases the likelihood that they'll get married, there sure is a whole lot of marrying going on. I'd be interested in seeing how the actual statistics align with the subjective feelings of the subjects.

"Results indicate that Navy careers negatively impact the personal lives of men and women," an executive summary of the survey's findings says.

Well, duh! Like this is something new under the sun? It took an "executive summary" (whatever THAT is) to come to this conclusion?

"The Navy is interested in these details and others about family life because it matters to sailors and the Navy wants to retain talented personnel. It also says these issues can impact readiness."

Really? If this is the case, then WHY didn't the survey ASK for these details in the survey? Two paragraphs above, it clearly says it did not. Given that it is already widely known that the armed services DOES "negatively impact the personal lives of men and women", it seems to be a no-brainer that such a survey should have dealt with this.

What I get out of this is "another stupid waste-of-my-time-survey" that was conducted whose only result is ambiguous touchy-feely BS with absolutely no tangible data which can be acted upon.

The article is thus on the same level as the notorious click-bait stuff you find in places like the Book of Faces, where you see an article with a catchy title, but the end result after 28 ad-filled pages of clicking is "so where's the story I was interested in?"


Navy life is hard on long-term relationships. Given that life in general is hard on long-term relationships (as demonstrated by the high divorce rates no matter where you go in this country), the question is "what's different about Navy life from civilian life that may make it MORE difficult, and how do we deal with this?"

PO1 Tony Holland I would have to generally agree, a Navy life does tend to keep you single. I was 27 back in 1975 when I got married, and I was an E-6, so life was not as hard as when a young E-3 gets married!

I did 23 years in the Navy, and my wife and I are still very happily still together. I draw two pensions, the Navy as a CWO3 and one from the State of Vermont for my 18 years as a Sheriff. I now collect SS, my wife collects SS and a pension from the town she worked for foe well over 20 years. Life is good.

But it was the Navy that kept me single to the age of 27. Lots of sea duty, lots of transfers and a lot of overseas time. Also, when I entered the Navy in 1966, the military was generally spit on by civilians. So many young sailors gravitated to the more seedy side of town if you know what I mean? I was no exception. Although things have greatly changed for sailors these days, I still think the nomadic life generally keeps a sailor single, as well as geography (try to find a nice girl in Norfolk).

All in all, I did my share of shady ports & bars, but I think I did very will. My wife and I are only 6 years away from our Golden, 50th anniversary. I don't regret ever being a sailor, nor getting married. Perhaps I was a lucky one?, but being 27 when first married was no doubt due to the Navy!