What to Say to a Suicidal Friend, from People Who’ve Been There

A-actively listen
C-care
E-escort

Stop drinking, stop taking painkillers and go to a meeting of Alcoholics or Narcotics Anonymous and you will find out that their stories are actually worse than yours and you will not feel sorry for them you will actually feel better about yourself and you will not feel lonely anymore. My sister committed suicide. She drank, took painkillers and had post-traumatic stress from the guilt of an abortion and add to that, domestic violence by her third husband that made her think that she did not want to be on the street anymore so she hung herself. The ace card information that you learn from the Army still applies

It is sometimes what we do rather than what we say and sadly language is poor for dealing with trauma, emptions and disability and the words that had meaning such as suicide, cripple, blind and disabled have been hijacked and used as words of abuse. I have had very low points in my life and yet the inner strength that I have always had, belief in a set of values and the love and support from so many has helped me through. The tragedy is three fold; firstly those who have not been through service cannot comprehend the world that veterans and service personnel have or still live in; secondly many have a sense of guilt when they come home partly because of the loss of friends who have not , the stress on relationships that their service has caused and perhaps there is a profound sense of isolation; thirdly in seeking employment in civilian life one cannot often say what one has really done and the application forms that insists you say whether you have had stress or back injuries make employers reject the applicant. It is important to rebuild your friends self esteem. I visited the wards where the British troops were being treated in Birmingham after Iraq and Afghan and met the amputees and others. The medical staff were amazed by how people from all ranks and different services had instinctively established small groups to talk through their stress and problems. That enabled them to talk through what they felt with people who understood. When, with my left eye permanently closed, quarter sight in my right eye and with bandages over my head, I came out of hospital my elder brother did not really know what to say. He bought a film and we watched it and it was Rocky 2, a man with damage to his eye and came back and did the impossible and became world champion. He cried and I smiled because I could see just enough to watch it. As a Christian the words hope and love are important but the words guilt and failure and even betrayal can destroy a brave person. Every Blessing in the help you give. Peter