Why This Mom Left The Marines — & Why She Is Far From Alone

I will endeavor to tread lightly here, but I am probably destined to fail.

Combat and Combat Service Support units generally have a youthful makeup. This probably corresponds to when most Marines decide to have children. This is a real concern with all MOS’s and missions open to women. If a Marine has a child, there is some pre-natal period where the Marine may not be able to safely participate in mission-related training or operations. That will be followed by a 12 week maternity leave and a post-partum period where once again the Marine may not be able to safely participate. Is it too far of a stretch to say that each pregnancy could produce a 12-15 month period of limited availability and or accommodation?

In an ideal world Marines would plan pregnancies around the operational schedule or shore assignments. Highly unlikely as a whole.

What happens when these shortages are in mission-related critical billets without a great deal of built-in redundancy? Units then deploy under strength or draw assets from somewhere else. Can it be done? –Yes. Is it likely to produce resentment? –Yes. It doesn’t matter how unfair it is, this is a dilemma that male Marines will not face from the child-bearing side of the issue.

Being male, I only got to watch the life altering, physically devastating event of my wife bringing our son into the world. Being "older" when I decided I had things "settled" enough for parenthood...I figured I had a good idea of how hard it would be-NOPE. I thought mid-watch in the Indian Ocean was tough-Try dealing with an infant who has colic. I thought worrying about young sailors on shore leave was a "responsibility"...Try waking up every hour thinking that little bitty person has rolled over on their face and can't breathe. I can't imagine fulfilling the duties I had on active duty as a parent...and I'm not even with our son most of the day. Bottom line, I think it is safe to say that serving the military and being a parent are both CALLINGS...not jobs. Some people have the support networks to have multiple callings, but most do not. Civilization has long accepted that warriors have to go fight and die...even when they have families. I don't suppose it makes it any less difficult when that warrior is a husband and father instead of a wife and a mother...but there is one immutable fact: father's don't have to go through the physical nightmare that is pregnancy. Society changes, and sometimes, that's a good thing...other times, we forget that somethings never change, and there are consequences when we try to deny it.

Interesting article. Of course, we are only hearing one side of the story. The article mentioned that she received a promotion after returning to work, but didn't really go into the quality of work of the Marine. My experience has been that people who do really good work tend to get the benefit of the doubt, but when that person's work is just so-so (or substandard) then regardless of whether the accommodations are justified or not people tend to harbor resentment towards those individuals.

I'm not inclined to buy into her weight loss complaint. It sounds more like she used "still breastfeeding" as an excuse to delay managing her weight, which she stated she had difficulty doing even before becoming pregnant. Once she stopped breastfeeding she went on a "crash diet" which is not conducive to addressing her long term weight management. Whether requiring her to get back to fighting weight within 6 months after returning to work (which happens 3 months after giving birth, equating to a total of 9 months to recover) is reasonable or not is another question. I would think it would be, but would be willing to listen if a medical professional believed the individual required more time.

The one complaint/concern that she expressed that I felt was valid and deserved a deeper look was that of her professional/technical development and sustainment. I can see where she might not be able to "work her rate" for a minimum of a year due to pregnancy/breastfeeding. That amount of time away from doing your job will result in performance degradation, and will require a ramp-up period as the individual returns to performing that function. If the only answer that she received to her request to return to the technicians’ shop was that "there wasn’t enough room," then that is unsat. I would expect there to be a plan to get her back in there so that she could continue her professional development like anyone else. It may not happen right away, but there should be a plan.