Posted on May 9, 2016
SGT Jose Perdelia-Torres
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i sometimes have a problem dealing with women at a workplace or college setting, where I have to communicate with them. I also feel that I have something warped in my head that prevents me with seeing them on an equal basis. I love women and I am in general a decent person and a productive member of society, but I know that i have a problem. I want to know if other infantrymen face this?

I have no problems with authority but I also have somewhere along the line developed this and not sure from where it came. I now take the time to listen and really focus on being a kinder and gentler person when i speak ( especially to women), because it seems as if women are always misunderstanding me. Does this happen to anyone else???

I'd appreciate anyone willing to relate that they have had problems or seen people in a similar situation. this is a serious inquiry. After-all, as Infantrymen we don't work with females at all unless we run into a support or logistics element.

My hope is that people can get advice from our respondents so that they aren't placed in a situation that could become violent.



I guess I have to be clear... I'm not in the Army anymore... I appreciate the response but I no longer am serving...This relates to me in the civilian sector.
Edited 8 y ago
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Responses: 111
CPT Jack Durish
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So, you think this is a problem for Infantrymen? All men suffer the same fate. Welcome to the club...
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LCDR Sales & Proposals Manager Gas Turbine Products
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SPC Kari Grove Wright
SPC Kari Grove Wright
>1 y
I was married to a fister in the cav, then I married an infantry soldier. (Both treat women very well) Then I joined the army myself. As a woman's perspective, military guys normally don't see women as person more of a sex toy. I think this is just crude behavior. This could have changed for you while in the military. However, women have a lot to offer to the civilian sector and military. A soldier that couldn't respect me in the military, got no respect from me. My roommate once asked why I was treated with respect when she was not. I simply replied "I tell them I won't take disrespect ", she tolerated disrespect.
As a female that has normally only been around males, I have seen how much disrespect there is. I think maybe with some therapy at the VA, you may be able to over come this issue, as it can be a hindrance in the civilian world.
Remember every woman is someone's daughter, sister, mother, niece, wife, girlfriend, and how would you want them to be treated if that was your kin?
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CAPT Hiram Patterson
CAPT Hiram Patterson
>1 y
Especially for those of us who are married!
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LTC Edward Canady
LTC Edward Canady
>1 y
SPC Kari Grove Wright - I believe that women...military or civilian...get the degree of respect that they have earned and demanded..by their demonstrated professional competence and by their personal conduct and person. If a woman acts like a sex toy..then that is how they can expect to be treated.Act and perform as a competent professional...and that is how you will be treated. The same would apply to thrway one InfantryMAN treats another InfantryMAN...if he is competent and supports me as a professional I will trust him with my life and would risk mine for him. Honor and respect are not mutually exclusive, and should not to be demanded or denied based strictly on gender...earn it based on your personal qualities and attributes and your demonstrated wiillongness to perform your job to the very best of your ability.
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Col Mark Goodman
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TSgt Jennifer Disch
TSgt Jennifer Disch
8 y
Too funny!!!!!!
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Emerald S
Emerald S
>1 y
Col Mark Goodman better know his wines , reds verse whites , and if some do like wine or beer or ` tea etc. yet this guide is helpful in communicating a start to a conversation, imagine the various reactions. take care all
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SGT Alicia Brenneis
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Don't stress. I've been out about a year and still don't know how to talk to civilian females..... and I am female.
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SGT Jose Perdelia-Torres
SGT Jose Perdelia-Torres
8 y
That's a huge insight, thanks for sharing this Sergeant!
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TSgt Jennifer Disch
TSgt Jennifer Disch
8 y
I have the same problem--I cannot relate unless it is another military or prior military female!!!
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SGT Eric Knutson
SGT Eric Knutson
>1 y
I would point out that I think this a common thread from male and female troops. As SGT D said, we come from a background of say what needs to be said, and get the job done, and these little children (refering to the majoraty who never served as part of something bigger than themselves) can not and will not understand us, I too have trouble communicating with the women in my area unless they have served or are military brats. Add in that, for myself, I have standards of what I expect in a woman (and no it is not about bust size) but their brain size and their ability to use it, which I find harder and harder to find, and the ones I have found are Married or attached somehow which puts them off limits to me as well. I wish you luck and to the rest who have this problem in one form or another.
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SGT Mary G.
SGT Mary G.
>1 y
Yes, I've had difficulty relating to civilian women too. Part of it is in the ways they relate to prior military females . . . maybe males too. It is difficult to put up with the nonsense, without comment, and there is plenty of it especially when interacting with self-declared peace-loving war-hating women . . . . who have violent, hateful attitudes, like none I ever encountered while serving. It is difficult to talk to anyone when they have those unspoken attitudes. And it isn't pleasant to talk to the ones who speak up about their attitudes . . . but at least they are being honest. So it's a starting point.
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