Posted on Nov 20, 2019
SPC(P) Medical Laboratory Specialist
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My ETS is in a year and I’m really conflicted if I should stay in or get out. I am not married and don’t have kids. I’m also not close to my family members so I don’t mind being away. I joined the military to travel and see new places.

I also wanted to feel like I’m part of a family away from home but the past 5 years I’ve been in, There were many times where I’ve felt alone. This could be because I’m not very outgoing and I find it hard to find people to relate to. I’m not going to blame being female but because I’m also introverted, it’s difficult finding friends in the Army, especially being in a small unit. I feel like I’m in a fishbowl community.

I would like to go to college full time and I wouldn’t mind getting out to pursue that. I know if I get out, it’s going to be tough for me to get back in (due to medical issues). I feel like I really need to make a plan and decide fast.

I know everyone’s situation is different but if you’re willing to share your story on getting out or choosing not to get out.

How is the civilian life?

Is the grass greener on the other side?
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Responses: 42
MAJ Javier Rivera
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Ok,

I retired after 27 years and wish I never did. But... I did my first few years active, then ETS to attend college, got commissioned and returned back to active; then retired. Regarding civilian life, each person has a different story.

Now, the most important part. You mentioned something about medical issues. TAKE CARE OF THEM AND MAKE SURE YOUR MEDICAL RECORDS REFLECT THEM. Take care of yourself regraded if you ETS or stay in for the long haul.

Im an introverted person and managed to hang for the first part of my adult life. A suggestion: volunteer of some of the local charities. Each installation has a volunteer coordinator at the ACS office. Check ‘em out.
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CPL Joseph Elinger
CPL Joseph Elinger
4 y
Yes.
Volunteer is diverse, rewarding, and appreciated.
It is also a common element you & they share.
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CSM Charles Hayden
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Edited >1 y ago
SPC(P) (Join to see) Civvy side of the world can be lonely also.

Re-training yourself to be more interactive with other people might be as effective for improving your in life in military as it would in the civilian world.

How much have you worked on yourself to “grow”?

How do you handle yourself in public? Would a trial or commitment to “Toastmasters International’ help retrain you?

I attended a ‘Dale Carnegie’ public speaking course when I was 19 years old, to this day, I believe it was an important class for a quiet, introverted young man.

The confidence I gained in public speaking has remained with me for eons.

Another legacy from the class is that I seldom say: ‘and’, ‘well now’, ‘uh’ and also do not hesitate to pause while speaking to anyone while I collect my thoughts.

Also, when tempted, I can interrupt long on-going conversations if I cannot get a word in! I simply ignore those motor mouths and continue interjecting my thoughts until they finally stop talking and listen to Me!
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SSgt Kelly D.
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The grass is as green as you make it wherever you are. I got out and sometimes wish I hadn't but chose having children over the military otherwise I would have stayed in. I agree with Maj Rivera about getting involved with local charities, just doing that can change your whole outlook. A counselor doesn't hurt either as they can help you see things a bit differently.
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