At what point in your military career does it become harder to return home than it does to deploy?

Lt Col John (Jack) Christensen - I was on the bubble. I hadn't deployed as much as a lot of people especially in other services but it was starting to become the norm for me. But I think this is a reason for a lot of our pilots exodusing the AF. They keep throwing money at it but that isn't the problem. As you said they come home from a deployment and immediatley go into training mode now which includes numerous TDY's in support of other ops or training situations so when they are home they really aren't home. I recently talked to a pilot who was at 18 years and he walked out the door to Southwest. He had been deployed so much as a heavy pilot and then they were getting ready to task him again with a 365 and he said that's it. He got immediately hired by Southwest, looks like he will get into a reserve unit in a support role where he can finish and get his retirement and be at home and watch his kids grow up.

Lt Col Scott Shuttleworth Have known quite a few just like him. There are so many variables that contribute to someone getting out short of 20 but can't argue that deployments don't factor in.

True. In 18 yrs of service I was single for the first 14 yrs. The last four was hard on the wife and daughter but I didn’t notice a difference. I think more veterans that were married early on their careers felt the impact of separation of leaving or coming home.

Don't forget paying bills. I had family handling my finances while I was gone last time, and never once had to think about monthly bills. That was pure heaven.

I'm right there with you. My wife actually told me that she thought I had developed Aspergers or Autism because of how different I was when I came home.

Mostly, I think coming home was frightening because during deployment I became a product of my environment...and that became a comfort. The unknowns of coming back to a family that had changed without me was terrifying. It took me years to feel like my family was where I wanted to be again, and I still don't feel like my house is my home. I no longer feel like the Army is my home either though...too much has changed.

I feel a bit differently because I was more into bombs. After I saw the first terrorist target taken out that same type of switch went off in my head. But it is different because I do not have the "cloak of self-defense". Rather it was like initiate the kill strike and leeeeeets gooo! (More concerned about the next party, or lunch order, or why my coffee always tasted stale). But then I realized I was drinking too heavily and had to get out for medical reasons. Being back home is terrifying because it feels like no one has anyone's back in this country. However, in the military we knew exactly where everyone stood and what they had seen by their medals and ribbons.

IMO we have established a new-age feudal system. As long as military veterans maintain their chivalrous discipline then we ought to be in good shape as a nation. That is if nuclear war don't wipe us all out first. Read some of Einstein's writings if you do not understand that last sentence. Adieu.

SrA Dylan Landry - I sat on my couch when I was retired and drank and I wish I could say I found god or something but I cannot. I went to the church near me on Sunday looking for something. (Don't mis-understand I know there is a higher power) I asked the pastor for help and was ignored. It was the birth of my granddaughter that I think saved me. I went with my bride to see our granddaughter and holding that little child changed me I stopped drinking and smoking within two weeks. I don't even touch beer now. Having said all that I hope you are doing OK and have found the link back that will help you. And you are right there is no one to watch our backs out in the world. When I see other vets I ask about them, thank them and shake their hand. Maybe that will help keep the bother hood alive and save the country from these crazy ass liberals. Good Luck

If I could have stayed in for the rest of my life I would have been fine with that. The rest, well you already know.