Humor
Humor
Posted on Apr 1, 2021
What’s the best prank in uniform you've seen? Comment below!
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When I first reported on board my ship it was the tradition to send the new guy out to get some fictitious item. I was sent out to get some "Bulkhead Remover". Little did my shipmates know but that I was wise to these sorts of things, but I dutifully went in search of said item. I went to a friend in the Ordinance Department and told him what I had been sent for and asked if he could help me out. We then took a 10 pound practice bomb, painted it OD with a yellow stripe around the nose, put an inert fuse in it and painted Mk 1 Bulkhead Remover on the side of it. I returned to the shop with the requested "Bulkhead Remover" in hand and gave it to PO1 that sent me out for it. Of course everyone freaked out and EOD got called in. They had a great laugh over the whole thing and put my "Bulkhead Remover" on display in their shop. Need less to say I was never again sent for any fictitious item.
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CAPT Alan Hollingsworth
We had an officer in my Navy Reserve unit who took the antiterrorism training a little too seriously, and earned the callsign "Preflight" because he would circle and look under his car every time before opening the door and getting in - checking for bombs. We did a 2-week exercise on a base that has an EOD training range. Someone "borrowed" one of the dummy training landmines, put it under his car, connected to wires that led off 200 yards into the forest. At the end of the wires, which he traced, was a sign that said "BOOM!"
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MAJ Jay Callahalm
I heard an "old soldier" tell a newbie to go to the shop and find the "left-handed spanner wrench" - -
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Brad Miller
MAJ Jay Callahalm - I've seen a SET of those. A mechanic who was painfully left-handed, don't know where he got them, had a complete standard set of wrenchs -- with the little screw-adjust all set for left-handed use.
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LTC David Stark
The old "Send the newbie out for a fictitious item" is such a classic, we used to even use it in the Boy Scouts! Smoke Shifters (left- or right-handed), Skyhooks, 100 feet of shoreline, and even a can of elbow grease!
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We had a nurse Capt that was always pranking everyone. His favorite device was KY Jelly. In your hat, the phone, the toilet seat. On his last day prior to PCS ING, two of the med techs went out to his pickup, slimed the door handles, the seat and the steering wheel. As he left the building most of the nursing staff and med techs were watching from the windows. It is a shame we didn't have a Mike down there. First he got his hands into the KY on the door handles, no sweat, wiped off with a handkerchief. The fun part was watching him slide across the seat and attempting to grab the slimed steering wheel. Priceless payback!
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PFC Sammie Collins
When I was first assigned to the 67V helicopter repair school (and being the only woman), I was told to go to the hospital and get an Rx from the doctor for a case of KY Jelly!! Thinking it was a prank but ok... I'll humor the guys, I went. Much to my shock, the doctor had no problem writing an Rx for a CASE of KY Jelly and the pharmacy was well stocked!! Walking back in with a full box of KY Jelly was alittle embarrassing but I handed it to the guys in phase 4-5 (drive train and flight controls). THEN, I looked in the manual under "removal of hanger bearings from the long drive shaft" and sure enough, right there in the TM it calls for KY jelly to be used to remove the hanger bearings!!! lol
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Cpl Floyd Gilreath
When in Okinawa in 1958, the Marine company that I was in rotation back to states except for 10 of us, we were in a small area that had separate quarters for NCO’s and Corpsmen, the first day the replacements came they had just arrived for the states and it was hot at the time, one of the PFC’s showed up at our hut and we were sitting around with our utility jackets off, he walked up this this Cpl and ask if there was anything that he could get for the task around his privates, the Corpsman was not around at the time and the Cpl walked into the sick bay and got a bottle of liquid that was used for sprains and told the PFC to hold out his hands and poured some of the liquid in his hands, he then splashed it on his privates and immediately was set on fire, the Corpsman was mad as hell, he said we could have caused a heart attack, The CO didn’t think it was funny and the Cpl got all the shit details for the next month.
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Maj Robert Thornton
Cpl Floyd Gilreath for a good gag, nothing of a noxious nature should be involved.
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Brig Gen (Join to see)
Problem with KY jelly is it dries out. Vaseline, or Bacitracin ointment, doesn't. Just sayin' . . .
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In the '90s, until '96 IIRC, the USAF enlisted had velcro/rank name patches on our BDUs. Lots got turned upside down or swapped to different uniforms. I got called out by my CC for wearing a MSgt patch from my boss as an Amn/E-2 in the DFAC.
I pulled lots of pranks with zip ties. Best prank I pulled was on my boss. We were slow at work. His shirt had the sleeves rolled and was hanging on the back of his chair. My trainer and I put a pair of zip ties in his sleeves. We had to guess at the size as he was a wiry guy but had Popeye forearms. One of his habits when putting his top on was to put a hand in each opening and sort of punch straight out. As I said, we were slow. Early afternoon he cuts everyone but the house mouse (my roomate) out for an early weekend. COB he grabs his shirt, puts his hands in and pushes out. He got about half way. The zip ties stuck tight on his forearms. He couldn't get his arms in amd he couldn't get them out. My roommate is rolling watching him struggle with his arms stuck. Boss was pissed. Come Monday morning everyone knows what happened. Boss is still pissed so in front of the formation calls me out, tells me I'm not allowed to touch a zip tie without permission, and tells the flight to watch out for me to which they all just start laughing which pisses him off more.
I've also taken boots, filled them with water and put them in the freezer. Soaked lots of shirts and hats and froze them as well. That cured the "put your stuff in your locker where it belongs" issues we had.
V/R
Bogie
I pulled lots of pranks with zip ties. Best prank I pulled was on my boss. We were slow at work. His shirt had the sleeves rolled and was hanging on the back of his chair. My trainer and I put a pair of zip ties in his sleeves. We had to guess at the size as he was a wiry guy but had Popeye forearms. One of his habits when putting his top on was to put a hand in each opening and sort of punch straight out. As I said, we were slow. Early afternoon he cuts everyone but the house mouse (my roomate) out for an early weekend. COB he grabs his shirt, puts his hands in and pushes out. He got about half way. The zip ties stuck tight on his forearms. He couldn't get his arms in amd he couldn't get them out. My roommate is rolling watching him struggle with his arms stuck. Boss was pissed. Come Monday morning everyone knows what happened. Boss is still pissed so in front of the formation calls me out, tells me I'm not allowed to touch a zip tie without permission, and tells the flight to watch out for me to which they all just start laughing which pisses him off more.
I've also taken boots, filled them with water and put them in the freezer. Soaked lots of shirts and hats and froze them as well. That cured the "put your stuff in your locker where it belongs" issues we had.
V/R
Bogie
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PO2 Eric Lozaga
SA Michael Moore - I can't believe that actually happened. Probably just a folk story
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CPO James Barnhart
Most Navy ships used to be powered by steam turbines. If a new E-2 was assigned to an engine room, often he was sent on the first day to get a bucket of steam from the fireroom, (where the boilers were). Most guys didn't fall for that, but one did.
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