My dad sent this in an email to me this morning. lol This is USAF humor at its best.

There is a two-letter word that has more meaning than any other two-letter word – that word is “UP.”

It’s easy to understand “UP” when pointing to the sky, by why to we awaken in the morning by waking “UP?”

At a meeting, why does a topic come “UP?” Why do we speak “UP” and why are the officers “UP” for re-election? And why is it “UP” to the secretary write “UP” a report?

We call “UP” our friends, we use it to brighten “UP” the room and we polish “UP” the silverware, we warm “UP” the leftovers and we clean “UP the kitchen.

We lock “UP” the house and some guys fix “UP” the old car.

At other times, the word has special meaning – people stir “UP” trouble, line “UP” for tickets and work “UP” an appetite, and think “UP” excuse’s for things that got screwed “UP.”

To be dressed is one thing, but we dress “UP” for special occasions.

And this can be confusing – we open “UP” a drain because it got stopped “UP.”

We open “UP” the store in the morning and close it “UP” at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed “UP” about “UP.” To understand the uses of “UP” we look “UP” the word in the dictionary.

In a desk sized dictionary, “UP” takes “UP’ half a page and the definitions add “UP” to about thirty.

If you are “UP” to it, you might try building a “UP” list, a list of the many ways “UP” is used. It will take “UP” a lot of your time, but don’t give “UP” for you’ll probably wind “UP” with a hundred or more.

When it threatens to rain, it’s clouding “UP” but after the rain when the sun comes out it is clearing “UP.”

When it rains, it wets “UP” the earth, but the earth dries “UP” when it doesn’t rain.

One could go on and on, but I’ll wrap this “UP” for now since my time is “UP” and I must shut “UP.”