I went to the VET center in 1995 to help me manage my depression, and am going to go back for more treatments now.

I had an anger management issue (got thrown out of anger management class). You have to find what works for you and keep doing it. If writing helps, then do it. If you are afraid of your co-workers finding it, then write notes on a little notebook you can keep in your pocket and then write it out fully when you get home. Or, if you are a techie, write the notes in your phone. Whatever you do, keep doing it. I didn't come to terms with my anger until a chief took me aside and explained how my anger was affecting the troops. That was the eye opener for me, changed that minute. I found taking a deep calming breath before a stressful situation helped.

just don't turn the words into pictures and put them on your arms for everyone to see.
Hang in there, try to find the positive. A positive growth mindset is essential if we want to avoid the same mistakes over and over.