Posted on Dec 13, 2019
SGT Photographer/Owner
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Odd question I realize. However, my promotion ceremony is on Saturday. My wife is flying down to Nashville for the ceremony. My PSG is making my Squad Leader counsel me on paper that my wife is NOT allowed in my hotel room. They said you're on orders in a government provided hotel room. I was in government provided housing at Fort Leonard Wood and my wife and I both lived there. I don't understand their reasoning. They say that they don't want it to seem like they don't want my wife there, but that's how it seems. Additionally, they said we don't want to put you in a financial bind, but because they won't allow my wife to stay in my hotel room (which I am in alone), my wife has to purchase her own hotel room. It's my wife, not a prostitute. What's the issue? PFC (Join to see) SFC Joe S. Davis Jr., MSM, DSL SFC James J. Palmer IV aka "JP4" LTC Stephen F. CPL Dave Hoover SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth SGT (Join to see) Capt Dwayne Conyers CPT Jack Durish SGT Ben Keen
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CPT Lawrence Cable
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First, tell you PSG that Capt. Cable said they were being a Dick. He/She can contact me here and I'll give them a number to call me personally where I would be happy to discuss in depth their leadership style and shortcomings.
I would first talk to my PL, and if they don't have the proper answer, request an open door with the commander and 1st Sgt. WTF? Is this how they treat enlisted these days?
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CPO Nate S.
CPO Nate S.
4 d
SGT (Join to see) I agree 1,000% with CPT Lawrence Cable, MAJ Javier Rivera and others here on WTFO. I am just an Old US Navy Chief, but this is crazy at best. I also realize your orig post was two months ago and hope this got resolved.

But, if not here is a thought!

1st - I am not as familiar with the USA structure as I am with the USN or USMC. That said. I have always encouraged my subordinates and challenged my seniors to know the regs Frankly, go to personnel. Find a clerk and say "Hey, I am getting promoted. My wife is back in (where ever), but she wants to come down and be present for my promotion. Can I read the regulation on if my spouse can stay with me in my hotel room? They will think you nuts. But, tell them you heard a rumor that does not make sense to you and before you make final arrangements for flight, etc. you just want to be squared away and know the regs."

The idea is to learn how to find out information without being a jerk and then when your leadership pushes the issues, be able politely WADR challenge them with language like "Well Sgt, Army Regulation _________ states clearly in __________________ that "............. allows spouses to ................................" This allows "wannabes" those misinformed to think before they open their mouths and try to play "billy bad ass" role. Some will think you a smart ass. That is fine! Every action is a double edged sword! But, you can defuse this too! "Hey, my wife is a civilian and she has no problem speaking to the ombudsman who has the CO's and CO's wife's ear. Are you really sure about this and can you show me in writing. Look, I don't want you guys to get in trouble." Wholte I like CPT Lawrence Cable's frontal assault mode, and as an "Ole Salty Chief" this appeals to me, start with a little more reserve approach. To some this may sound cheesy, but it has an interesting impact, that I witnessed many years ago.

Executed right, wives, can have real power, if they "don't abuse it" and learn it's "judicious application" in a non-frivolous manner. I was fortunate, my wife was also AD, and she knew regulations. Young wife's have to know they have advocates and that is often in the form of the Command Ombudsman and usually a CO's wife. I had the good fortune to get to work with some great CO's wives who really looked out for the spouses of the marine and sailors in the units I was with. Senior Officer or Enlisted wives worth a damn make themselves know to spouses as a focal point of need to others. They have experience and the good ones know how to get things to happen so people unless they a brain dead will not loose face, but will get the message!!!

Bottom line, when you challenge, as you know Sargent, challenge WADR and with the full knowledge of the applicable rules and regulations you can read for yourself so you know what you are talking about! Of course if this did or does not work. Plan A - CPT Lawrence Cable is a strong fall-back. If not, call me. I have access to a couple of USMA types that are good eggs and have no problem having a conversation with people who are stupid!

2nd - Here are some websites with data that that may lead you to other data that coule be useful:

- https://www.defensetravel.dod.mil/site/comLodging.cfm
- https://www.defensetravel.dod.mil/Docs/perdiem/browse/Travel_Regulations/Regulations_Changes/Monthly/2018/JTR(01-01-18).pdf

SGT (Join to see) of course I know how to find for US Navy, sorry I could not be more helpful generally.

Just saying............................
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LTC Lee Bouchard
LTC Lee Bouchard
4 d
Agree, run this one up the flag pole. 1 SGT, and CO. Go for it.
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CPT Lawrence Cable
CPT Lawrence Cable
4 d
CPO Nate S. - I don't disagree with taking it through the local chain of command first, which is why as suggested talking to his PL and 1st Sgt as a first step. I went back a looked through the present rules on TDY lodging and I can find absolutely nothing that prohibits a spouse from staying in the room, which is as it should be since the Army (and Navy) claim to be supportive of the Soldiers family. However, petty shit like this is just one of those things that gets that make my redneck streak go off. Even if it required an additional charge, which I doubt, the soldier should have been told that and given the opportunity to pay the difference. I personally would have asked for an open door with the 1stSgt and asked them to sight the AR or DOD directive that allowed them to issue that order. That usually doesn't make you many friends either.
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CPO Nate S.
CPO Nate S.
4 d
CPT Lawrence Cable - Right! I got your drift. No worries! My sailors and Marines could always come to me if they had issues. What this young SGT is being told is so bogus that it makes sense.

I appreciate you looking at the AR. I have found that the best way to combat BS is for those of on RP, like you, who are capable to accessing current directives and tossing the BS flag on the field of play. Young troops should have immediate tools and be instructed on how to best use them without being disrespectful. What I heard in SGT (Join to see) post was the kind of tactics as many pointed out are signs of a command creating POOR leaders who will ultimately get people killed or hurt when the going get tough because they cannot lead with honor!

Finally, please join me in advocating that when such posts made by your young members the 1st that those of us like can do is point to the regs 1st followed by commentary. What these young members are asking is for immediate help. In this case, the original post was 2 months old. So I did commentary followed by regs. But, I like if I can is to offer answers 1st then leadership commentary.

I hope that SGT (Join to see) returns to the commentary to let us know what happened!
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MAJ Javier Rivera
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WTF? This is so wrong in so many ways! I traveled and stayed on the government’s dime multiple times and so did my unit’s members. We did encourage bringing spouses (transportation was on them but lodging paid for) along. And boy did we travelled: Hawaii, Korea, Europe, and Centra America!
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CSM Richard StCyr
CSM Richard StCyr
2 mo
Same here, sounds like inexperienced leaders at the Squad and Platoon level.
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SGT(P) Sso (Special Security Office)
SGT(P) (Join to see)
2 mo
I even brought my fiance from Nevada in on a drill weekend. Back in the day 2011 my entire family stayed on base at MacDill when I was working there
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1SG Bernhard Mattulat
1SG Bernhard Mattulat
1 mo
This is so frigging "Jackass-anal" I could just spit! I guess they'd say it was OK if his guest was a canine, but a wife is a NO-No! Even IF it were against the rules, no CID agent in his/her right mind would spend 2 minutes on an "investigation". Then who in JAG is gonna waste the time to bring charges? Had this troop come to me while I was in the 1SG position, I'd have given these two "leaders" an ass-chewing they wouldn't forget! "Lead by example"; this was a poor example of leadership! My wife, a retired SFC agrees. God knows howmany times we "broke the rules"! Should we have gotten two apartments while an extended TDY assignments? GFR!
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MAJ Javier Rivera
MAJ Javier Rivera
1 mo
1SG Bernhard Mattulat, if those buffoons where under my command I would fire for effect in their 4th point of contact they might put for retirement after the fact!
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SFC Small Group Leader
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I'm not even gonna attempt to reference a regulation on this. This is ridiculous and who did you piss off?
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SSG Environmental Specialist
SSG (Join to see)
2 mo
I agree with the Major unless they are splitting this room between you and another soldier (LIK) I don't get their reasoning.
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CPT Human Resources Officer
CPT (Join to see)
2 mo
I agree with you, there is no reason for your wife to not be allowed in your room.
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SGT Jerry Walker
SGT Jerry Walker
1 mo
His wife needs to be with him during this time.
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Monty Leverett
Monty Leverett
9 d
I'm a civilian and this is FUBAR beyond being FUBAR. To me, this sounds like someone with an axe to grind going out of their way to make life hell for everyone.
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