Satire
Satire
Posted on Aug 4, 2020
Coast Guard Commandant severely injured after getting 230 birthday punches from Joint Chiefs
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WASHINGTON – The Coast Guard Investigative Service (CGIS) is investigating the death of Commandant of the Coast Guard Adm. Karl L. Schultz, whose body was discovered Sunday morning. Anonymous sources report the medical examiner says his cause of death was “being punched 230 times” during a birthday celebration for the Coast Guard with leaders from all the other armed forces.
CGIS believes one of the assailants was U.S. Army’s Gen. James C. McConville, was heard yelling “ALTO SU BARCO, GRAAAHHH!” before playfully but violently punching Admiral Schultz numerous times. Witnesses say service chiefs from the Marines, Navy, and Air Force joined in and seemed to be yelling things like “Happy birthday, ya Puddle Pirate!” and “Show us your life jackets!”
CGIS believes one of the assailants was U.S. Army’s Gen. James C. McConville, was heard yelling “ALTO SU BARCO, GRAAAHHH!” before playfully but violently punching Admiral Schultz numerous times. Witnesses say service chiefs from the Marines, Navy, and Air Force joined in and seemed to be yelling things like “Happy birthday, ya Puddle Pirate!” and “Show us your life jackets!”
Coast Guard Commandant severely injured after getting 230 birthday punches from Joint Chiefs
Posted from duffelblog.com
Humor
Satire
Coast Guard
DuffelBlog
Edited >1 y ago
Posted >1 y ago
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Somehow this doesn't seem to represent the level of leadership that one would expect from these men... Fun is fun, but not when it severely injures someone...
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Paybacks. Wait until the Army turns 246 next June 14, 2021. Popeye joined the USCG in 1937. Navy needed his help at the start of WWII, so Commandant issued TDY orders in 1941.
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