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A story I saw this morning while looking for a different story:
When the phone rings in the middle of the night, it’s like an alarm going off in your brain. No one calls at one in the morning to say they were “just thinking of you.”
I received one of those calls 13 years ago and woke to my mom telling me my dad had died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound. The words didn’t sink in right away; I had to ask her to repeat herself. I can’t image the difficulty she endured to do this.
My dad was a Navy veteran and a high performer. He was incredibly successful as a nuclear power engineer. Unfortunately, he was not able to tackle life’s challenges without substance abuse or an addiction. These varied over the years, from gambling to drinking, to smoking, to overeating; he would replace one with another in a constant struggle to adapt to life. I don’t know for sure, but I suspect he filled the void with those substances because he didn’t have anyone to help him. As the breadwinner for the family, I think he felt he had to appear strong and deal with things on his own. This left him alone with no one he could just open up to about how he was feeling.
When the phone rings in the middle of the night, it’s like an alarm going off in your brain. No one calls at one in the morning to say they were “just thinking of you.”
I received one of those calls 13 years ago and woke to my mom telling me my dad had died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound. The words didn’t sink in right away; I had to ask her to repeat herself. I can’t image the difficulty she endured to do this.
My dad was a Navy veteran and a high performer. He was incredibly successful as a nuclear power engineer. Unfortunately, he was not able to tackle life’s challenges without substance abuse or an addiction. These varied over the years, from gambling to drinking, to smoking, to overeating; he would replace one with another in a constant struggle to adapt to life. I don’t know for sure, but I suspect he filled the void with those substances because he didn’t have anyone to help him. As the breadwinner for the family, I think he felt he had to appear strong and deal with things on his own. This left him alone with no one he could just open up to about how he was feeling.
#BeThere before the call U.S. Air Force Display
Posted from af.mil
Suicide
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Airmen
Edited >1 y ago
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This is a very good article TSgt Joe C.. Having been there myself after Vietnam and years later after my wife died we do need to help others. As the First Sergeant said, never minimize the troubles an individual has. I've been affected by suicide in too many ways. The hardest one was a 14 year old student of mine.
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Many years ago when I was in S.E.A.at my tour after ‘Nam I got a letter from my youngest brother, it seemed he got busted a 2d time with marijuana (he implied) and it was just short of having enough to sell. He was on probation and since he got caught, back to custody he went.. He said he needed $ to get into rehab. I wasn’t buying because how he was going about to raise the money. He implied dad was letting him ‘sweat it out’
Dad told him what that s**t would do to him.. I was there on leave, I had not gotten some funds yet to leave with, I had my reasons... I had my orders and vouchers for when I got to port of debarktation ...
Actually it was all I needed but I wanted some cash to work with.. I waited to day before I left to get cash .. That night I put it in a strong box I had gotten. For a 6” High by 15” long x 12” wide box it was heavy. In the closet was the Center Post that supported the beam that ran under the floor upstairs. It had a iron ring and through that I ran a 18” long piece of logging chain.. and locked it around
that center post. I had some important stuff in it.. Had it for quite a few years .. had come home before and seen there was an attempt to get in it. I knew it was him for sure.. since he couldn’t get in it I didn’t confront him. Back to the letter in the beginning. .. I had steamed it open with my iron .. to read it. I took it back to Postal center and and put in another
Envelope and addressed it to him at the county corrections center.. Mal was still free. For a while.. I ‘d enclosed a note saying I concurred with dad.. he needed to own up and deal with it. I’m not the bank of BOYD. I Quickly notified my credit
Union and had my funds moved to Reserve. Couldn’t call it a #2 account. I left $5 in the front account.. My next older brother could be manipulated very easy. He’d had a accident at birth and the umbilical cord could not be unwrapped from around his neck fast enough.. #3 would attempt manipulate him to make a withdrawal and sign my name.. I’d done other preventive measures too.. physically letting them know I would Not be in the Conus but
O’seas.. (people make mistakes ; do not
See a hold note.. ). My plan worked... by chance, mom was in line at the C.R. She’d seen my younger brother arrive and let #2, get out.. come in and get in line.. she did her business and went to sit on a bench.. #2 went up with a withdraw slip and attempt a withdrawal for a large amount that wasn’t there.. Mom said he shook his head and walked away , went out and got in the car with bro#3 and leave. Mom went up to the counter and enquirer.. the clerk told her.. Mom said I played that quite well in a letter she sent.
I found Dad terminated bro #3 right to stay in the house... because he took unfair. Advantage of his brother to steal from my account.
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Dad told him what that s**t would do to him.. I was there on leave, I had not gotten some funds yet to leave with, I had my reasons... I had my orders and vouchers for when I got to port of debarktation ...
Actually it was all I needed but I wanted some cash to work with.. I waited to day before I left to get cash .. That night I put it in a strong box I had gotten. For a 6” High by 15” long x 12” wide box it was heavy. In the closet was the Center Post that supported the beam that ran under the floor upstairs. It had a iron ring and through that I ran a 18” long piece of logging chain.. and locked it around
that center post. I had some important stuff in it.. Had it for quite a few years .. had come home before and seen there was an attempt to get in it. I knew it was him for sure.. since he couldn’t get in it I didn’t confront him. Back to the letter in the beginning. .. I had steamed it open with my iron .. to read it. I took it back to Postal center and and put in another
Envelope and addressed it to him at the county corrections center.. Mal was still free. For a while.. I ‘d enclosed a note saying I concurred with dad.. he needed to own up and deal with it. I’m not the bank of BOYD. I Quickly notified my credit
Union and had my funds moved to Reserve. Couldn’t call it a #2 account. I left $5 in the front account.. My next older brother could be manipulated very easy. He’d had a accident at birth and the umbilical cord could not be unwrapped from around his neck fast enough.. #3 would attempt manipulate him to make a withdrawal and sign my name.. I’d done other preventive measures too.. physically letting them know I would Not be in the Conus but
O’seas.. (people make mistakes ; do not
See a hold note.. ). My plan worked... by chance, mom was in line at the C.R. She’d seen my younger brother arrive and let #2, get out.. come in and get in line.. she did her business and went to sit on a bench.. #2 went up with a withdraw slip and attempt a withdrawal for a large amount that wasn’t there.. Mom said he shook his head and walked away , went out and got in the car with bro#3 and leave. Mom went up to the counter and enquirer.. the clerk told her.. Mom said I played that quite well in a letter she sent.
I found Dad terminated bro #3 right to stay in the house... because he took unfair. Advantage of his brother to steal from my account.
.
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