Well, tomorrow is a big day for me. I meet with the hematologist/oncologist and hopefully he will provide the results from the bone marrow aspiration. People with MG cannot use anesthesia in many cases, it’s true for me, so it was a suck it up buttercup needle insertion and aspiration. In my head, I hear tick tick tick tick...

I have had a chat with myself and decided I did not want to go alone. James who has my medical POA will be coming with to provide another set of ears.

I had ice cream for lunch after getting my eyes checked after waiting for the crucial moment to order something from Amazon. Tonight I will get lost in Old Time music. Eyes are one of the first things affected by MG. Often with a drooping lid, called ptosis.

I have been sewing for Bridgets Cradles again. And a few minutes ago, I found out where B is. So many blue cradles. When I sew the blue, I grieve. For the ones I lost before live birth and for my son who is lost. Almost all of the cradles I got this time are blue. Tomorrow I will begin on the white and blue. Check out Bridgets Cradles to see what I am talking about.

Many women with Myasthenia Gravis miscarry or cannot get pregnant or enter preterm labor they can’t be stopped. 3 little souls never saw life on the outside. It was a battle to save the other two.

Talking about preterm labor. The first successful birth I went into labor about the 28 week point. I managed to hang on til she was just under 5 lbs. no nicu at the base. Her lungs were not fully developed and for the first few years, we spent week after week, usually a Friday, at the ER getting more antibiotics. After she turned one, the pediatrician confided in me he didn’t think she would live to see that day. Well, she did. Now she is a nurse, 4th generation in a busy childrens hospital. Of course she loved neuro! But she is on a different floor to gain experience.

Baby 2 was a boy who thought the perfect time to go into labor was at 26 weeks on a plane flying from Texas to AZ. Contractions were less than 5 minutes apart. The pilot wanted to divert to Albuquerque. I begged him to continue to the planned destination where I had a preterm doctor I had been seeing who was familiar with this pregnancy and had hospital privileges everywhere but the base. Terbutaline, magnesium sulfate and complete bedrest slowed the labor. He managed to hang on to 34 weeks and ended up with complications and a bed in the nicu. We lost those precious bonding moments and the military said report to work in 4 weeks and we are charging you unscheduled leave for the time I spent delivering this baby. I had gone to the base first and they turned me away. With no nicu, it turned out to be a good move. As he grew, he was quiet, introverted, loving and above all else, kind. He gave the best cuddles. He loved animals and worked at a zoo. He wanted to be a great explorer so he fished the Bearing Sea and climbed the highest mountains and became a PADI scuba diver to see what lay beneath the waves. He protected the women and children and always made sure they were cared for first.

Military families move from base to base. We did. We also drove cross country and hit all 50.

At those bases are hazards such as jet fuel and chemicals in the water. We drank the water, we bathed in the water, we fished in the water, we swam in the water and stood in awe as each mighty aircraft took off and landed.

Back to Bridgets Cradles. I have a few left while the vent does the breathing and I type these words,

And then I will do the few pink and purple ones.

In between, I will let the preset ventilator do the breathing for me at 12x a minute.

And though it may seem coincidental, God has heard the deepest prayers of my heart. I know my son lives today. And some where another mother’s heart is breaking.