Warfare
Warfare
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There may be a word or two that may not be in good taste, but crusty old vets should get a kick out of the following.
Yes it’s been around but funny
Drafting Guys Over 60.
I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards.
Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 55.
For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a month, leaving us more than 280,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are bad-tempered and impatient, and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.
An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.
If captured, we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.
Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.
Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.
These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.
Let us old guys track down those terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off old farts with bad attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.
HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50... in menopause!!! You think MEN have attitudes?? Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my Word!!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!
Send this to all of your senior friends... it's in big type so they can read it.
Yes it’s been around but funny
Drafting Guys Over 60.
I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards.
Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 55.
For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a month, leaving us more than 280,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are bad-tempered and impatient, and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.
An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.
If captured, we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.
Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.
Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.
These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.
Let us old guys track down those terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off old farts with bad attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.
HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50... in menopause!!! You think MEN have attitudes?? Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my Word!!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!
Send this to all of your senior friends... it's in big type so they can read it.
Military service
Humor
Warfare
Edited 5 y ago
Posted 5 y ago
Responses: 27
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PO1 H Gene Lawrence
Sgt (Join to see) - and since we are getting close to the end of the toilet paper roll, we need to git-er-done quickly. LOL
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Well my friend, PO1 H Gene Lawrence as far as being 'old and cranky' I will pass on that :-)
I am 62 years old right and my heart and back behave much older :-)
After my lumbar surgery, I expect that I will gradually gain more capability :-)
Update: So far all my serious surgeries had significant complications :-) Hopefully this one will be simpler and free of complications. I have been in pain for over 10 years and thankfully the pain varies in intensity, type and location :-)
God's grace is sufficient as HE has reminded me.
1. In emergency torsion of the testicle [incredibly painful when your scrotum swells up to the size of grapefruit] operation in 1972 [age 15], I lost a testicle [over the next six months it atrophied]. I had a silastic prosthesis testicle implanted [twice]. each time my body rejected and it forced its way out my scrotum ;-)
2. In my mitral valve repaid surgery [age 47] March 11-12, 2003, I leaked 15 units of blood. They called for my pastor to pray over me [i had shared my faith in Christ with the chief cardiothoracic surgeon when i met him.] It too four months for my body to warm back up from 34 degrees to normal. One of the biggest challenges was thoracic back pain . The muscles holding the spine are not designed to flex or contract. When my chest was opened up for a long time, those muscles stretched. That paid was amazing.
3. In 2008, colon resection surgery my bladder was nicked when they cut a slice to remove the colon [my bladder was slightly higher than expected]. When I became alert I noticed my catheter was filling a bag with purple-red fluid. I was still drugged and intrigued. A surgical rep came in and became defensive when I asked about my purple pee. I had no intention of suing since it was an honest mistake :-)
FYI COL Mikel J. Burroughs LTC Stephen C. LTC (Join to see) Lt Col Charlie Brown Maj Bill Smith, Ph.D. Maj William W. 'Bill' PriceSGT Jim Arnold Maj Robert Thornton SPC Douglas Bolton Cynthia Croft SSgt Boyd Herrst TSgt Joe C. SGT John " Mac " McConnell SP5 Mark Kuzinski CPL Dave Hoover SPC Margaret Higgins SSG William Jones PVT Mark Zehner
I am 62 years old right and my heart and back behave much older :-)
After my lumbar surgery, I expect that I will gradually gain more capability :-)
Update: So far all my serious surgeries had significant complications :-) Hopefully this one will be simpler and free of complications. I have been in pain for over 10 years and thankfully the pain varies in intensity, type and location :-)
God's grace is sufficient as HE has reminded me.
1. In emergency torsion of the testicle [incredibly painful when your scrotum swells up to the size of grapefruit] operation in 1972 [age 15], I lost a testicle [over the next six months it atrophied]. I had a silastic prosthesis testicle implanted [twice]. each time my body rejected and it forced its way out my scrotum ;-)
2. In my mitral valve repaid surgery [age 47] March 11-12, 2003, I leaked 15 units of blood. They called for my pastor to pray over me [i had shared my faith in Christ with the chief cardiothoracic surgeon when i met him.] It too four months for my body to warm back up from 34 degrees to normal. One of the biggest challenges was thoracic back pain . The muscles holding the spine are not designed to flex or contract. When my chest was opened up for a long time, those muscles stretched. That paid was amazing.
3. In 2008, colon resection surgery my bladder was nicked when they cut a slice to remove the colon [my bladder was slightly higher than expected]. When I became alert I noticed my catheter was filling a bag with purple-red fluid. I was still drugged and intrigued. A surgical rep came in and became defensive when I asked about my purple pee. I had no intention of suing since it was an honest mistake :-)
FYI COL Mikel J. Burroughs LTC Stephen C. LTC (Join to see) Lt Col Charlie Brown Maj Bill Smith, Ph.D. Maj William W. 'Bill' PriceSGT Jim Arnold Maj Robert Thornton SPC Douglas Bolton Cynthia Croft SSgt Boyd Herrst TSgt Joe C. SGT John " Mac " McConnell SP5 Mark Kuzinski CPL Dave Hoover SPC Margaret Higgins SSG William Jones PVT Mark Zehner
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SGT (Join to see)
Col. my grandfather used to say, "one day you will get to the age, what don't hurt, don't work! Enjoy the pain." 75% of recovery is with the mind, the body will catch up. We just do not mend as fast perhaps to look around and better appreciate what really matters.
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LTC Stephen F.
Thanks my friend SGT (Join to see)
So far all my serious surgeries had significant complications :-) Hopefully this one will be simpler and free of complications. I have been in pain for over 10 years and thankfully the pain varies in intensity, type and location :-)
God's grace is sufficient as HE has reminded me.
1. In emergency torsion of the testicle [incredibly painful when your scrotum swells up to the size of grapefruit] operation in 1972 [age 15], I lost a testicle [over the next six months it atrophied]. I had a silastic prosthesis testicle implanted [twice]. each time my body rejected and it forced its way out my scrotum ;-)
2. In my mitral valve repaid surgery [age 47] March 11-12, 2003, I leaked 15 units of blood. They called for my pastor to pray over me [i had shared my faith in Christ with the chief cardiothoracic surgeon when i met him.] It too four months for my body to warm back up from 34 degrees to normal. One of the biggest challenges was thoracic back pain . The muscles holding the spine are not designed to flex or contract. When my chest was opened up for a long time, those muscles stretched. That paid was amazing.
3. In 2008, colon resection surgery my bladder was nicked when they cut a slice to remove the colon [my bladder was slightly higher than expected]. When I became alert I noticed my catheter was filling a bag with purple-red fluid. I was still drugged and intrigued. A surgical rep came in and became defensive when I asked about my purple pee. I had no intention of suing since it was an honest mistake :-)
FYI SGT (Join to see) PO1 H Gene Lawrence
So far all my serious surgeries had significant complications :-) Hopefully this one will be simpler and free of complications. I have been in pain for over 10 years and thankfully the pain varies in intensity, type and location :-)
God's grace is sufficient as HE has reminded me.
1. In emergency torsion of the testicle [incredibly painful when your scrotum swells up to the size of grapefruit] operation in 1972 [age 15], I lost a testicle [over the next six months it atrophied]. I had a silastic prosthesis testicle implanted [twice]. each time my body rejected and it forced its way out my scrotum ;-)
2. In my mitral valve repaid surgery [age 47] March 11-12, 2003, I leaked 15 units of blood. They called for my pastor to pray over me [i had shared my faith in Christ with the chief cardiothoracic surgeon when i met him.] It too four months for my body to warm back up from 34 degrees to normal. One of the biggest challenges was thoracic back pain . The muscles holding the spine are not designed to flex or contract. When my chest was opened up for a long time, those muscles stretched. That paid was amazing.
3. In 2008, colon resection surgery my bladder was nicked when they cut a slice to remove the colon [my bladder was slightly higher than expected]. When I became alert I noticed my catheter was filling a bag with purple-red fluid. I was still drugged and intrigued. A surgical rep came in and became defensive when I asked about my purple pee. I had no intention of suing since it was an honest mistake :-)
FYI SGT (Join to see) PO1 H Gene Lawrence
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The good thing is the mind knows how and has learned a trick or two along the way after 55 I figured out I had about three to four minutes from a physical encounter standpoint and after that I could be in trouble. I can still at 73 outwork most 40-year-olds , sure not as fast as before but can outlast many. I have a former colleague who is my age we worked together globally and he today is wheelchair bound...but he is still someone you do not want to tangle with.
I am a believer in 'power perceived is power achieved.' I believe respect is the solution to many encounters and when all else fails I am coming home with any doubts. Came from a group of highly brainwashed but well-trained guys who's motto was "live by chance, love by choice, and kill by profession." Now that is insanity at its finest. Also, the military today has rules that many of us did not have to contend with along with no iPhones, tablets and a media hovering over the shoulder.
Old rules still apply you just need to know where and when and when all else fails, shoot them to kill then there is only one story to tell.
I am a believer in 'power perceived is power achieved.' I believe respect is the solution to many encounters and when all else fails I am coming home with any doubts. Came from a group of highly brainwashed but well-trained guys who's motto was "live by chance, love by choice, and kill by profession." Now that is insanity at its finest. Also, the military today has rules that many of us did not have to contend with along with no iPhones, tablets and a media hovering over the shoulder.
Old rules still apply you just need to know where and when and when all else fails, shoot them to kill then there is only one story to tell.
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PO1 Robert George
Had a cop tell me, "When you're the only one left standing, guess whose story goes in the report?"
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PO1 Robert George
one of those, "I didn't tell you this, but..." One of my co-workers at a Builders Square was married to a cop and got to know a few.
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