Posted on Oct 6, 2015
War changed me, my wife wants the old me....what should I do?
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I have always been a fun loving guy and even in service was known to be good for a laugh. But in June 2012 I had the worst day of my life. The FOB I was 3 days from leaving was attacked. The situation did not sit well with me and I suffer daily from it. I have lost passion in my marriage and feel I should leave so that she does not have to suffer with me but fear the result it will have on our daughter. My wife has never been one to work or bring in money so I don't know how she can care for my daughter, but she will use my PTSD against me to keep me from taking custody. So what should I do? I don't want to cause her heartache over this but I shouldn't have to suffer an unhappy marriage. I need some advice, and I know others out there have dealt with this before.
Marriage
Children
PTSD
Service
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 142
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SPC (Join to see) I would seek counsling with family at the VA, I went for 2 months to get it together brother, what a life-changer, talk to your VA PACT ASAP.
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SSG Shawn Knadler
The VA is one resource but there are many providers in the community who work with veterans and are quite competent. I'm a OEF vet and now a psychologist- I'd be happy to help connect you with resources brother-2-brother
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SFC James Needles
SFC Davis is absolutely correct. SPC Vitali, please listen to the advice offered here. My wife told me much the same thing and I wouldn't listen. Some how our marriage survived when the "S" hit the fan three yrs after I returned from OIF II. It was counseling that got us through it though. Both individual and couples.
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LTC Tom Hartley
It would be nice to count on the VA. But my experience is you should help and professional counseling elsewhere.
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Your wife is your partner; she signed on for the long haul.
Undoubtedly she loves you and can see how you have been affected. She can help!
Have the conversation with her, and see what suggestions she has. Professional help is probably helpful as well.
I feel for you, SPC (Join to see). I learned this too late to save my marriage. Don't do what I did. You MUST communicate with her.
Feel free to message me directly. I have powerful things to say on this subject.
Undoubtedly she loves you and can see how you have been affected. She can help!
Have the conversation with her, and see what suggestions she has. Professional help is probably helpful as well.
I feel for you, SPC (Join to see). I learned this too late to save my marriage. Don't do what I did. You MUST communicate with her.
Feel free to message me directly. I have powerful things to say on this subject.
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Our experiences change each one of us. Are you in contact with any battle buddies or others from the unit that were there with you? Being able to talk about your experiences with those that experienced the same or similar engagements will help you move forward....it aint easy but we have to ruck up.
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