Posted on Dec 15, 2014
SMSgt Security Forces Manager
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In my experience, it is important to have a solid family life. Having a spouse that is open minded and flexible is key to my overall success. I don't feel like the military truly honors our spouses as much as they should. The old adage "if the military wanted you to have a spouse, they would have issued you one." Is a saying that I have always despised. How important do you feel our spouses are in the overall success to our mission?
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CW5 Desk Officer
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They're unsung heroes, in my humble opinion.
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SMSgt Security Forces Manager
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Yes Sir and too often they are not recognized appropriately. I feel we as leaders have a responsibility to host some type of spouses day event to honor them. What are your thoughts and what suggestions would you recommend Sir?
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CW5 Desk Officer
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SMSgt (Join to see), I've seen spouses receive certificates of appreciation at various ceremonies (promotion and retirement are the two I specifically remember).

The Army has FRGs (Family Readiness Groups) for spouses, especially when the unit is deployed, but also in general. That's where I think some more attention could be paid.

And I guess some sort of spouse appreciation event would be a good idea ... It would be up to the unit, the particular circumstances, etc., but I like that idea as well. I'm thinking tying it in with the FRG might be the way to go.
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SMSgt Security Forces Manager
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I too have seen the certificates handed out at retirement ceremonies, but never a promotion ceremony. We also have a Family Readiness section that's assists spouses with issues during deployments. My Commander started a key spouse program in our unit and the spouses get together once a month for different events. Last month they did a self defense class and the month before that they went to a local winery and had brunch and did wine tasting. Currently we have members that are deployed and the key spouses are charged with contacting the spouses of deployed members to ascertain if their needs are being met. I think that it is sad that our spouses go 20 years at a minimum to receive a certificate when we retire though. The military in general should enact a spouses appreciation day. I know that the Army has some sort of family day at most bases and I was wondering if the rest of the military services should benchmark after that idea and expand to include a reward ceremony of sorts.
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CW5 Desk Officer
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At the top, the Army has included "Family" in the Comprehensive Soldier and Family Fitness program, so there is command emphasis on the role of the family. (http://csf2.army.mil/)

I agree, though, SMSgt (Join to see), that spouses should be recognized more often than they are.
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CH (CPT) Battalion Chaplain
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I am a firm believer in "strong families make strong Soldiers."

A spouse can be invaluable to a Servicemember's success in the military.

A bad spouse, can be a deal-breaker and a detriment to the Servicemember.

The military is difficult on family units, but it isn't impossible to have a healthy military family.

Our spouses and the health of our families are incredibly important to overall mission success.
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SMSgt Security Forces Manager
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I agree Sir!
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COL Jason Smallfield, PMP, CFM, CM
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Spouse importance and affect on mission accomplishment:
- Varies for each service member and couple.
- Can range from very important and mission essential to not important and a mission distractor.
- Goes to personal and professional balance. Everyone at some point either self selects out of the military or is told to leave. The time to think about the personal side is at the beginning of the military experience and not at the end.
- On the flip side, I have seen some military spouses "wear their spouses rank". It is important to understand that spouses are not in the military, do not have a rank, and do not speak for the command. Rank and experience are two different things. A senior military member's spouse does have a lot of experience which should not be discounted.
- I disagree that the military does not truly honor our spouses as much as they should. I think the military does what it can to recognize and reward spouse contributions to successful mission accomplishment.
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1SG Brigade Security Manager
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I agree Sir.
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SMSgt Security Forces Manager
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Sir, I agree that there are some spouses that "try" to abuse their position as a military spouse and because of their spouses rank they often attempt to flaunt their status. In my experience as a Security Forces member, I have witnessed wives of Officers that feel they deserve to be saluted entering the front gate. It's hard to explain to a spouse that we salute the DD FM 2220 on the vehicle and not the spouse behind the wheel without hurting their feelings. This is one of my favorites, "hello, I am Mrs. Col. Doe." So what you're telling me is that your biggest accomplishment in life was marrying a Col? You have your own identity no need to ride the coat tails of your spouse. So yes Sir, I do understand your view on that point.
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