Posted on Jan 1, 2015
MAJ Deputy Director, Combat Casualty Care Research Program
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Came across this and was shocked... wondering if others would feel the same (this song is from a wife's point of view):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ArXL7uEQsEg020

In our endeavor we are never seeing eye to eye
No guts to serve us so forever may we wave goodbye
And you're always telling me that it's my turn to move
When I wonder what could make the needle jump the groove
I won't fall for the oldest trick in the book
So don't sit there and think you're off of the hook
By saying there is no use changing 'cause
That's just what you are
That's just what you are
Acting steady always ready to defend your fears
What's the matter with the truth, did I offend your ears
By suggesting that a change might be a thing to try
Like it would kill you just to try and be a nicer guy
It's not like you would lose some critical piece
If somehow you moved point A to point B
Maintaining there is no point changing 'cause
That's just what you are
That's just what you are
Now I could talk to you till I'm blue in the face
But we still would arrive at the very same place
With you running around and me out of the race
So maybe you're right, nobody can take
Something older than time and hope you could make
It better, that would be a mistake
So take it just so far
'Cause that's just what you are
That's just what you are
That's just what you are
Acting steady always ready to defend your fears
What's the matter with the truth, did I offend your ears
You're like a sleepwalking man, it's a danger to wake you
Even when it is apparent where your actions will take you
That's just what you are
And that's just what you are
That's just what you are
That's just what you are
Posted in these groups: 78568930 PTSD
Edited 9 y ago
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MAJ Deputy Director, Combat Casualty Care Research Program
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So many miss that 50% of the damage of PTSD is with the wife and kids. They are the ones dealing with the fallout and post-deployment shrapnel.
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MAJ Deputy Director, Combat Casualty Care Research Program
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It's about the truest experience from a wife's perspective regarding PTSD I've seen.
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PO3 Aaron Hassay
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Edited 9 y ago
Just listened to the song.

Valentines o Valentines
where do art though go
When romeo could take juliet to a show!
When romeo could have a kiss and a warm cuddle not so cold
O valentine or Valentines
where do art though go?

Basically I know you are correct. The shrapnel of a young man or women beign torn apart mentally by military expieriences will have fragmentation to those around them. Loved ones-mother-sister-brother-fiance-cat and dog-roomates-the world in general

I could never make it, to have a wife, get my manhood going, and kids, before the e9, when I was approximately 21, passing all evals, no NJP, just depressed undertrained, trying to take a bad enlistment and make good of it, the command master chief on the ship physically and mentally kicked my ass when I was depressed already, out at sea, hazardous duties, and sea sick.

I tore away and started cussing at even my mom. I became ultra self protective and jumpy and would end up getting in street fights. My Navy Career had stalled out and was dead by 21 that started head strong at 18 winning the best recruit advanced paygrade bootcamp 1994 out oh high school.

Mid Late 1990s Downsizing and the supposed doctors in charge of health care should be considered better note takers then anything. As they would document 6 symptoms of PTSD, including a request for branch NAVY to ARMY transfer and Fiance was dumping me, in 1 Psych eVAL at the SD NMC, but because I denied suicidal plan, that guy never set up a follow up, and never saw me again, and he never even put FIT FOR DUTY on the evaluation either before discharging me.

I am on SSDI now for anxiety and mood disorder. Thats 900 a month below the poverty line. And I even have 2 herniations and DDD. I never even mentioned I was in the military and of course the assault. I only recently discovered that PTSD is caused by assault on the VA web site. When I read this my whole life Fiance Leaving me, my family basically pulled away, I was homeless, Suicide Hospital Ambulanced, angry street fights, drunk...

Some say my stress on my mom when I was getting belligerent and falling apart and in complete anger and denial caused my poor mom a lot of heart ache. I was the eldest of 3. She was a single mom since I was 10. We were poor no gov support, no child support.
My poor mom passed away 53 years young when I was 34 or so. My second Fiance, desperate attempt to reclaim normalcy and have a relationship, dumped me within months of my moms passing, as again I became despondent, was already broke, fragmented from that stress, cold, depleted. Then I would drink for the next year drunk before noon and sad crazy things.

Then I discovered my missing father , since I was 10, (and his father my grandpa i found out was still in the navy ww2 vet and had my dad out of wedlock, the mom did not want him I found out also, and basically my dad was an abused kid shipped around family to family orphan style..i never met my grandpa and my moms dad passed away when I was like 5 or so)my mom had to leave, because he was violent and drunk, and falling apart, was indeed, get this, a Combat Vietnam Vet, real hand to hand, jumping out of helos Combat, all his friends vanished, 66-68. And so I was double deckered that not only was this true, my dad was fighting demons that only recently the VA is starting to look into such as PTSD from combat, that 58000 Vietnam Drafted Service Members parished from, in a short few years, but I was his dependent child of a Vietnam Veteran of Combat and went homeless. The VA may have been imaginary for all I know. But indeed the VA and Gov did have services and disability and other benefits available. But the outreach programs must of been on alligator arms. I mean I was homeless as a child on and off, and hungry, and that alone has issues of your spirt and ego, and then I had not father figure, and so I was reliant on the NAVy to be like big brother or step in.


I was awarded "best recruit award" 1994 bootcamp upon graduation. Then I was stuck on this ship with very little experience and the crappiest non existent training in the world I have ever encountered and all my dreams of myself, at 18 19 20 years old started to get screwed up rearranged, and then the slam the door shut the e9 litterally kicked my ass to make a point mentally and physically assaulted my name my life my career and future all in a 5 minute span. I walked out of that little space on the ship a different man I suppose cold and never understood what just happened.


I joined the Military first thing in this Sea and Air Mariner Enlistment. The crappiest enlistment the Navy ever created. Especially since I signed it the last year, the same year, it was withdrawn.
Here is the quote that sums is it up DOD Manpower Requirements REport to congress 1994 about the Sea and Air Mariner enlistment. Basically what you will see is that the Sea and Air Mariner enlistment gave you very little expierience and you might be placed in a hazardous strenuous undermanned Combat Ship like I was.


""""""The Sea and Air Mariner program, a non-prior service
accession program inaugurated in FY 1984 to help the Naval Reserve meet
its junior enlisted personnel mobilization requirements, is drawing down
to maximize the retention of spaces for the more highly trained and
skilled veteran personnel. An offshoot of this program, Sea and Air
Mariner II (SAM II), was developed specifically to place individuals
serving two years on Initial Active Duty Training, onboard FFT 1052
class ships. With the cancelation of the FFT program, the SAM II
program draws down in FY 1994. """""""

I wonder if anyone has an opinion on PTSD from Personal Physical or Sexual assault Senior on Junior, and how that is different then fighting the enemy combat theatre Trauma PTSD?
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PO3 Aaron Hassay
PO3 Aaron Hassay
9 y
personally think it sad sad and beautiful in a sad way...that my mom will know when i started cussing and getting beligerant at her after the e9 attacked me on the ship...and i started to fall apart and became hypervigilant in denial and on the defensive against even my mother...and then my fiance dumped me a year later...and i would not mention said event..to them..and then my poor mom how can god let her go ..and when i was with her till the last second...god must have a plan here....
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