Posted on Feb 18, 2014
Who thinks that spanking or the lack thereof has hurt this country?
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<p>Does anyone here believe that the lack of discipline stems from a lack of discipline. It is easy for a person from the outside telling parents how to parent and what is appropriate.</p><p><br></p><p>I was spanked (though not often) and I really don't care for it, but I do believe some kids seem too far gone.</p><p><br></p><p>And how does this lack of respect and discipline affect the leaders of tomorrow?</p>
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Posted 10 y ago
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Spanking vs. Not Spanking isn't really the issue. Spanking is a reaction to the symptom, not the problem. We have a 5 year old daughter who to this day has never been spanked. My wife and I are VERY active in her life. We eat dinner together at the table every night, we read books to her (well now she reads them) every night as a family, my wife volunteers 3 days a week at her school, and we go as a family to her gymnastics/ballet/soccer. We tell her our expectations of her, and the consequences of her choices; either right or wrong. She does her chores without being asked, and always helps out if someone in the family needs it.
The discussion isn't spanking or not spanking. Again that's the symptom. The PROBLEM I see these days are kids that are so starved for attention. They have parents that both work, and are exhausted when they get home from work. Then they are fed quick processed food, and rushed to bed without having any real interaction as a family or with their parents. I see kids acting up out of frustration or just wanting their parents to pay attention. Because it's no surprise that a kid that acts up is far more likely to find the attention they are seeking faster than one that is behaved. We live in a world where people have kids, then rush to their jobs leaving their kids to daycare and after school programs. Being a parent is tough, and tiring, and rewarding. I don't think a lot of people understand how important their role is. The way you treat your children will affect the way they live the rest of their lives, the relationships they have, and the characteristics they look for in a relationship. Additionally, I've never understood spanking...
You are punishing a bad behavior with another bad behavior??
Do you spank a kid if he hits another kids at school/park? Teaching to not hit by hitting?
I'm not a rocket scientist here, but that seems a little detrimental to the overall goal. Your kid looks to you as a safe place; their comfort zone, and they imitate and respect everything you do. The second you hit them, you instantly take away their comfort in you, their respect for you, and everything you WERE to them.
Spend time with your kids, listen to them, let them tell you about their day and their crazy imaginary games (as silly as they might be), and encourage them to learn, and be better. Let them mess up, and be comfortable making mistakes. Nobody did it right the first time, right? Then, they will WANT to impress you, make you proud of them, and will do whatever they can to not let you down. And...best part...No Spanking required.
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SSgt (Join to see)
By the way, I never spanked. I believe in most of what you said here and I have my reasons based upon my life experiences.
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CMDCM Gene Treants
Specialist Dunn, after I retired I went to work for Child Protective Services. The number of parents I encountered who did not know the difference between discipline and beating their children was tremendous. Spending time with their children never entered their minds, let alone NOT spanking or talking.
It sounds to me as if you have a very good parenting plan. Your children have a very good chance of becoming full fledged adults without massive reasons to go to therapy based on their parents, well done.
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SSG (Join to see)
I have to say that my wife and I had a rather heated debated on this subject with some friends of ours about a month ago, which seemed to actually crack the foundation of our friendship a bit.
We don't believe in spanking. You're an adult. You chose to have a child. Beating that small person because you're not competent enough to figure out why they're crying [because there is always a reason], then maybe you're not as mature as you once thought you were.
The argument stemmed from their upbringing and location. We're Midwesterners while they're from the South. Life is just different down there, apparently and they couldn't imagine not offering a swat now and then to their little boy. Granted, I have been friends with them so I know he's not being beaten to a pulp or something nuts, but I just don't believe that them doing something wrong is going to change because you hit them and then tell them that hitting is wrong.
Do I think it hurt this country because kids weren't/aren't spanked enough?
I think that's a ridiculous jump.
Burying the nation in debt for generations to come is far more detrimental than a few parents who decide that there's more intelligent ways to communicate than violence.
Fast food is far more detrimental to our nation than spanking.
Reality T.V. is far more detrimental to our nation than spanking.
I don't think parental choice [that has been made since the dawn of time] is adversely affecting our nation, considering that we're only getting smarter with time.
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CNN TODAY
(CNN) -- A Kansas state lawmaker says a bill she's introduced that would give school teachers and caregivers expanded rights to spank children is not "intended to legalize child abuse.
SSgt (Join to see)
That really is a profound move. University of Arkansas professor argued against CP. The book is interesting to say the least.
This powerful, ground-breaking book exposes the barbaric methods currently used to "discipline" children in our nation's classrooms. School psychologist Dr. Irwin Hyman lays out the results of years of painstaking research with the calm objectivity of a social scientist. Yet, one cannot read the charts, statistics, court testimony, and anecdotal reports without a mounting sense of horror.
The evidence is clear and irrefutable: many of the people to whom we entrust the education of our children routinely subject their young charges to physical assault or psychological humiliation. Worse yet, the childrend have little or no protection from thir persecutors. "As of September 1989, thirty-one state legislatures and the U. S. Supreme Court refused to stop teachers from inflicting physical pain on school children."
Hyman, director of the National Center for the Study of Corporal Punishment and Alternatives in the Schools, does not rest at documenting the extent of the problem. He goes on to explore the devastating long-term effects of being a victim of, or even a witness of, school abuse--the personality changes, sleep disturbances, somatic complaitns, poor school performance, lowered selfesteem, increased aggression, and more. He also gives parents much detailed, practical advice on how to negotiate the legal and political systems that perpetuate this abuse.
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CMDCM Gene Treants
This Bill would allow a TEACHER to legally spank and BRUISE a child in Kansas. In NC if a child receives a bruise as a result of a spanking from a PARENT, it is considered Abuse. Now a Legislator in Kansas wants to legalise Child Abuse in the schools. Thank God we are not in Kansas anymore!
Is there any sanity check in the State of Kansas? There is such a big difference between DISCIPLINE and SPANKING and ABUSE that we should not even be having this discussion. I am appalled. Oh, yes, BTW BA in Psychology, Social Worker for 8 years in Child Protective Services. (Not a Democrat, if you are wondering. lol)
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My Dad even had his own "Mr. Belt" song and dance. When he sang it, we knew we were done. We all turned out fine.
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SSgt (Join to see)
Hahaha and the dreaded switch or are you going to make me pull this car over?????
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SGT(P) (Join to see)
Ha, and when we thought we were smart and picked the thinnest switch when our grandmother would send us out. I'm afraid of what and where my siblings and I would be without that discipline in the home. Our father was a police officer that did not play. Where we grew up, its a wonder all of us made it out of there, and I owe it to my parents disciplining us when necessary. We did NOT get over.
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