Coping in the midst of adversity. What are your thoughts?

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 04 May 2015 11:30:24 -0400

This has been a difficult year for me. Having my grandmother pass away who raised me, and awaiting my 6th deployment to serve my country is just a small portion of it all. As a NCO, I
refuse to not live up to the NCO creed and continue to lead in word and deed. Honestly, as much as I invest in my soldiers, and my career, I find myself having to take care of my family, as well as myself. The balance to remaining effective as a leader is just as important in keeping yourself mission capable as well as your soldiers. I don't see much discussion about how leaders are still remaining effective in spite of the many challenges they face. What are you all thoughts?

Response by SFC Stephen King made May 4 at 2015 11:35 AM

SFC Stephen King — Mon, 04 May 2015 11:35:47 -0400

The key word is balance. You need to find time for you as well as your family. Be effective in action, know your doing a job that others cannot and Do your best not being afraid to fail or ask for help if needed.

Response by SPC Charles Brown made May 4 at 2015 11:36 AM

SPC Charles Brown — Mon, 04 May 2015 11:36:53 -0400

I feel your pain. The best advice I can give is to never let either group, family or military family, feel that you don't care about their well being. Keep you personal family informed about what you are feeling, and any fears or concerns you may have about their feelings while you are gone. As for your soldiers, well, stay on them, keep them motivated and yourself as well.

I am probably telling you things you have heard figured out, but sometimes they just kind of slips to the back of our minds.

Pro Patria
C.

Response by Capt Mark Strobl made May 4 at 2015 12:17 PM

Capt Mark Strobl — Mon, 04 May 2015 12:17:36 -0400

This is a challenge that all leadership will face... and will continue to face. Define your priorities: God, Country, Corps (sorry, ol' Marine here). Somewhere in that matrix, you'll have to put your family. I'm guessing your comrades are considered "family" --and in some cases, more so. I agree: Balance is important. If you give too much to one, you'll inevitably lack in another. Managing family issues can fly in the face of your professional progress. But at the end of this ride with the big green gun club, you'll find yourself back with your family. Those for whom you provide leadership (military, family, etc.) deserve your best. Hold tight to your faith and press on!

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made May 4 at 2015 1:12 PM

MAJ Ken Landgren — Mon, 04 May 2015 13:12:45 -0400

Sometimes a leader has to bite his lip an keep moving forward, never quitting. That being said, you have to take a knee sometimes. If life seems overbearing, it OK to ask for help. We don't want to deploy "broken" soldiers for good reasons.

Response by COL Mikel J. Burroughs made May 8 at 2015 3:34 PM

COL Mikel J. Burroughs — Fri, 08 May 2015 15:34:26 -0400

SSG Harvey you are getting some great words of wisdom from your connections on RallyPoint, so I'm just adding my two cents. We have all faced situations while deployed or when serving in the armed forces that puts our words and deeds into question; as well as balancing our priorities. If you believe in what you are doing and the NCO Creed you will prevail in the end no matter what. If if you stumble a little, your soldiers and family will be the most forgiving because they know you gave it your all. Continue to stand tall! It sounds like you can carry the weight! Like my mother said when I was a small kid and I fell down or hurt myself: "Get up and rub some dirt on it, then move on!"

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made May 8 at 2015 8:25 PM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 08 May 2015 20:25:51 -0400

I applaud your dedication to selfless service to your country as well as your family. The very fact that your are concerned about this dilemma tells me that you are a good leader who adheres to the NCO and soldiers creed. I'm sure your know that in order to effectively do your job and take care of your soldiers, you have to take care of yourself. One thing I like about the Army the way we take care of each other both informally and thru programs and resources. Don't be afraid to use these resources; discuss with your chaplain as well as family support services, MWR and medical resources on base. If you need to take a leave to take care of business or just to get yourself back in balance, request it. Good luck to you!