Don't skip your retirement ceremony?

2014-10-25T18:58:11-04:00

In 2011 after 20+ years of service I retired. That's not unusual, it’s a simple process done all the time.

But I was assigned to a University ROTC position, and on a University I didn't serve in a "conventional unit" or serve on a post to speak of. So when it was my time I asked to retire from Ft. Meade where I had some family. The other option was Ft. Knox where my career had started, and I didn't think I was ready to say good bye from where it had all started.

What I found on Ft. Meade was not being from Ft. Meade the transition office gave the impression that they could have cared less about my retirement. I was never informed of, or offered an opportunity to attend a retirement ceremony, nor did they ask if I had received my last NCOER or award.

And of course being in an ROTC assignment I never cleared post or had those last few days to prepare for that last day in the Army. As a result, on my last day I walked into retirement services, was handed a piece of paper and shown the door. No flag, no pin, nothing.

It was over, 20+ years of service was gone in a flash and my ID card was blue. The 45 minute drive home was lonely and depressing because there was no tomorrow. I had no orders, I didn't need to in-process my next assignment, I was done. So I took off my uniform for the last time and didn't know what to do with it. It hung in the closet, the belt still in the loops and ready to be worn again for a year.

My retirement experience was bitter and still bothers me to this day. So take my advice, if you’re preparing to retire, go to the retirement ceremony, and demand to attend if they have one. Listen as they read off your assignments and decorations, remember the soldiers you served with and if you can, reach out to them and thank them. Remember the places you visited and where you served, and shake every outstretched hand from peers wishing you well, and thank them for their service.

Go to PT your final week, enjoy the moment of being on the PT field and think back to all the PT tests you have taken, all the miles you have run, the cadence you sang. Go to the chow hall for one last time, eat around soldiers and really look at them, how did they get so young, or did they, you could be older.

Take time cleaning out the office, locker or turning in your equipment, clean your weapon and mask that last time and sign that last 2404 in big bold writing. Have the next soldier who gets your weapon ask who was this guy?

But above all, mentally prepare for that last day. Try to retire on a Friday, use the weekend to cushion the transition.

Now your retirement may be for different reasons, you want to retire, you have big plans to be with family or travel, a new job awaits you, and those are great.

But don't skip the ceremony and just disappear. Enjoy the moment and thank you for your service.

Response by SGT Richard H. made Oct 25 at 2014 7:16 PM

2014-10-25T19:16:53-04:00

Wow, reading this kind of touched me, even though I'm not a retiree. I got out after nine years, but my intent was to serve for a career. I was a SGT (P) at the time, and the only barrier to SSG was remaining TIS. I chose to get out, because at the time it came down to a choice: I was going to be a family man or a military man. Yes, I knew you could be both, but in my case, I had just been to SFAS, and upon reenlisting, would be off to the Q-course....and my (then) fiance had already told me that having grown up an Infantry Officer's "Army brat" she didn't have it in her to be an Army wife...I knew this would go double for being an SF wife....so, I ETS'd.

Many years later, I still wonder what would have been....I still think back and KNOW that not one work day since leaving the Army I loved has meant anything to anyone, except bottom-line dollars.

But I have a great wife and a daughter. To them it's meant something, and because of that, it's meant something to me. So I man up and don't cry over what could have been.

Except on November 18th, 2008. That would have been my retirement date. That day, I cried a little.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 10 at 2015 8:50 AM

2015-01-10T08:50:49-05:00

Some of the best reading I have read in a long time. Touching moment that puts a lot in perspective. I think I am considered "over the hill" when you pass the 10 year mark and considered a coast ride downhill. I feel it will be bittersweet when my last day in uniform comes. This is the dream job for me; I signed up as a sophomore in high school. This is all I ever wanted to do. To walk away from this job may be one of the most difficult things I will have to face. But all good things must come to an end I suppose.

Response by SR Javier Betancourt made Jan 10 at 2015 9:48 AM

2015-01-10T09:48:59-05:00

I write books on my time off and to be honest i really like the way you describe the transition. I never attended any graduations or ceremonies for myself, i hate to see things end, and to be honest the manner in which you wrote this passage makes me regret that. Congrats on your retirement

Response by SSG Robert Burns made Jan 25 at 2015 7:48 AM

2015-01-25T07:48:45-05:00

Awesome

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 11 at 2015 12:29 PM

2015-02-11T12:29:43-05:00

When I retire, I prefer not to have any ceremony or such. It isn't that I don't take pride or honor of my service. But I think the government can spend the resources somewhere else to increase the efficiency. They can recognize my service by doing all the paper work properly and not screwing anything else up. As a matter of fact, I much rather them doing the later than some dog and pony show.

If people want to show up at my house or somewhere else and chill after work, I am all for it. But that's just me.

Response by Capt John Harrison made Feb 13 at 2015 10:02 AM

2015-02-13T10:02:42-05:00

When I was on active duty, I remember 2 specific troops (one being a really good friend) who told me that they were not going to have a retirement ceremony, all they wanted was a Dd-214 and a retirement check. I gave both of them this sage wisdom: 1. You need and deserve closure. You have given 20+ years of blood, sweat and tears, don't leave while the the book is still open. You need to close this chapter in your life before you can really move on. 2. Don't be so selfish and think this is just about you. There are people in your life that need closure as well (superiors, subordinates and most importantly...your family. Retirement is akin to a passing away. You need to allow these people time to process what has happened, thank you for your service and leadership, and wish you well in your next endeavors. By not having a ceremony, you are short changing this process. Further, you need to show the next retiree the proper way to exit and keep our military heritage and protocols alive. After both of the fore-mentioned troops retired, both of them contacted me and personally thanked me for making them have a retirement ceremony. They both said that they now see how important is was to have closure.

Response by 1SG Michael Blount made May 28 at 2015 3:34 PM

2015-05-28T15:34:26-04:00

Damn. Meade treated you dirty

Response by MSgt Jim Wolverton made Aug 11 at 2015 2:37 PM

2015-08-11T14:37:41-04:00

Everything you said is true. I skipped my retirement ceremony, mainly due to not retiring from a place I wanted to be at and because it was going to be impossible to have everyone there that I wanted to be there and I just didn't see a reason to have one if I couldn't have that. I do regret it now, mainly for my wife and children, they deserved that. I retired in Dec 2014 after 24 years and even though I had a job for 3 months while I was on terminal, I almost wish I would have spent those last 3 months on active duty, soaking it all in.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Aug 11 at 2015 6:10 PM

2015-08-11T18:10:13-04:00

I was so burnt out that I just grabbed the flag in a box and DD214 and never looked back.

Response by CPT David McDonald made Dec 21 at 2015 8:09 PM

2015-12-21T20:09:29-05:00

I went through the Ft Riley RSO back in 2011 and retired in FEB 2012. I was basically treated as the red headed step child: enlisted (E-6)NG on active duty, Sanctuary, Prior Naval Officer. It took me the next 39 months to undo what the Subject Matter Experts I trusted to process my retirement did to me. They had my entire file and still screwed it up FUBAR. Oh yeah My retirement ceremony was at a Batt formation where I received an Army Achievement Medal for my career.

Response by MSG D. Layne-Sheffield made Dec 22 at 2015 3:34 PM

2015-12-22T15:34:52-05:00

SFC Matthew P., Soldiers Army-wide are invited to participate in a retirement ceremony conducted by ceremonial troops of the U.S. Army Military District of Washington (MDW). This is where I opted to have my Retirement ceremony. The Retirement Section on Fort Meade informed me about the ceremony. I just had to go on the website and select a date and time, MDW did the rest. Even though you were not assigned to Fort Meade, they should have given you the information.

http://www.mdwhome.mdw.army.mil/event%28s%29-support/army-retirement-ceremonies

Army Retirement Ceremonies

Soldiers Army-wide are invited to participate in a retirement ceremony conducted by ceremonial troops of the U.S. Army Military District of Washington (MDW).

Response by SCPO Charles Thomas "Tom" Canterbury made Dec 29 at 2015 2:05 PM

2015-12-29T14:05:26-05:00

SFC Matthew Parker - thank you for sharing this experience with others. There are so many who just want to walk away without that pause to celebrate their honored service. Have you done anything since then with friends and family to celebrate your service?

Response by MSG Angela Parker made Feb 23 at 2016 2:50 PM

2016-02-23T14:50:09-05:00

Thank you, very great way of looking at the last day. Appreciate your service and loyalty to our Nation.

Response by CPT Joseph K Murdock made Oct 15 at 2016 8:30 PM

2016-10-15T20:30:48-04:00

Don't miss your VA hospital check up and take a piece of paper with all your ailments on it to the physical.

Response by CW5 Jack Cardwell made Oct 23 at 2017 7:12 AM

2017-10-23T07:12:23-04:00

Thank you for your service and you are correct, the retirement ceremony is important. It does bring closure to a long career.

Response by SGM Gregory Tarancon IV made Oct 12 at 2018 8:12 AM

2018-10-12T08:12:28-04:00

Great Advice! Thank you for sharing! FYI - I had a retirement Ceremony a week ago, I completely underestimated the impact it had on my family! I will never forget it!

Response by SSG Ronald Colwell made Nov 3 at 2018 2:50 PM

2018-11-03T14:50:10-04:00

At you got an award in the mail, I was asked, 2 days before final out by 1SG if I wanted one. After 22+ years albeit a medical retirement, I told him to stick it up his ass and walked out. The in/out processing center, nor the command offered a ceremony, I was told I just missed it the week before I was out processing. At this point I just wanted to leave.

Response by CPO Miguel LaraMaya made Jan 7 at 2019 11:51 AM

2019-01-07T11:51:01-05:00

I was not going to have a retirement ceremony but I had a conversation with my mother and I was telling her, that my kids might not be able to attend, most of my military family are all over the world and I didn’t want to burden anyone. Then she made a comment, and what about your dad and I? Needless to say, I had one and it was worth it. I can say, “my mom made me do it.”

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Apr 1 at 2019 5:09 PM

2019-04-01T17:09:35-04:00

I feel bad for you considering your last experience was not what you expected. However, keep it in your heart and mind that you have served honorably and made a contribution to the military, soldiers, and nation.