Posted on Nov 12, 2014
SFC Network Engineer
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http://www.armytimes.com/story/military/2014/11/12/kathijah-badrulhaimi-suicide-bragg/18922629/?sf33618618=1

Folks: Please, if you are feeling down, PLEASE call someone. Talk to someone. Call two or three people. Do NOT let a temporary problem lead you to make a decision that you can NEVER take back!

Everyone of you, no matter who you are, is worth more than money itself, not matter what you think you may have done, or what you think you may have lost!

Take the time to call, reach out, talk with, be mentored by, and seek advice from someone else. No matter what, I guarantee you, someone, somewhere, has been in a worse situation, and has managed to pull themselves out of it, so if they can, you can too!
Posted in these groups: B4caadf8 Suicide
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SGT Kristin Wiley
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I agree with SSgt (Join to see) , the system punishes soldiers seeking help more then it helps them. I took a soldier to behavior health on Fort Bragg, and they told him he couldn't go home and that he would have to stay in an empty barracks room with an NCO sleeping in his room for 'suicide watch'. They took him out of his comfort zone (his home), forced him into isolation, and took away his privacy by making NCOs from his company stand watch over him. The barracks room had nothing in it, and he wasn't allowed to go get anything from his house because he admitted to owning firearms. No phone, no tv, no nothing. Being alone with nothing but your thoughts is not the way to help someone considering suicide. All he wanted when he walked into the clinic is someone to talk to, instead we treat him like a criminal and they never gave him the one thing he asked for.

When a soldier in my command committed suicide in Iraq, I believe it was the direct fault of his NCOs. They were aware that he was having family issues, his girlfriend has just broken up with him, and they sent him back to his room by himself so he could deal with his problems. As an individual who has dealt first hand with suicide, I know the affects that being left alone can have on a depressed person. Negative thoughts are toxic to the mind.

Another soldier up at Schofield lost two of his battle buddies to suicide in the same week. His command continued to be hard on the unit, did not encourage grief counseling, or personally go check on the soldiers who would be affected the most by these losses. He was so overcome with grief that he was considering suicide himself. I barely knew the soldier, but he reached out to me and since I was unable to get to him where he was stationed I called the base MPs and asked them to go find him. I did not know his unit, he would not give me any information, but I was able to work with the MPs with the information I had to located the soldier and get him help. The MPs woke up his CSM and the Chaplain to go speak with him and get him the help he needed. This soldier thanked me for calling the MPs on him because it saved his life!

Everytime I see another soldier die from suicide, all I can think about it how our leaders are failing our soldiers. If you are there for your soldiers when they need you, I believe we are entirely capable of preventing suicide. There is a great book called “13 Reasons Why,” which goes into detail about 13 people who were not there for a girl and led her to commit suicide. This book explains how if just ONE of those people were there for her when she needed them to be, she would still be alive.

There is no excuse for this failure, and if you need reminded of your responsibilities please refer to the second paragraph of the NCO Creed:
“Competence is my watchword. My two basic responsibilities will always be uppermost in my mind—accomplishment of my mission AND THE WELFARE OF MY SOLDIERS. I will strive to remain technically and tactically proficient. I am aware of my role as a noncommissioned officer. I will fulfill my responsibilities inherent in that role. ALL SOLDIERS ARE ENTITLED TO OUTSTANDING LEADERSHIP; I WILL PROVIDE THAT LEADERSHIP. I KNOW MY SOLDIERS AND I WILL ALWAYS PLACE THEIR NEEDS ABOVE MY OWN. I will communicate consistently with my Soldiers and never leave them uninformed. I will be fair and impartial when recommending both rewards and punishment.”
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SFC Network Engineer
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SGT Kristin Wiley: Excellent points. Thanks!
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LTC Substitute Teacher
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I think the suicide rate would decrease if we take the career stigma away. Many soldiers are afraid to ask for help for fear they would be discharged. The military has made some progress in that area, but still not enough. Then we have to educate leaders and supervisors on how to handle these situations. As soldiers, we take care of each other!
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SSgt Forensic Meteorological Consultant
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Edited >1 y ago
SFC (Join to see) That is so sad. Too many times the VA Hospital makes it hard on someone considering suicide because if you do admit to it, they take away your clothes and puts you into a gown and armed guards stand around you. I know because it happened to me, only the doctor said to them that it was not necessary. I have a friend who was a Vietnam-vet who told me that this was the case and I kind of blew it off. It is possible that this young soldier may have felt abused and afraid of a system that in many cases wants to blow you off.

Not the doctors either but this need to impose that kind of pressure to a veteran already breaking at the seams. I will not even speculate as to the nature of this young soldier's issue and this has to come as a shock to many who cared about her.

So if people are listening and they feel real sad, it is not cowardly or unmanly to have feelings you cannot deal with. If you need an advocate find one and use them as a go-between so that you are not feeling threatened by the very system that is supposed to help you.

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SGT Team Leader
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@Ssgt Larry Olson, spot on. Most of us have been there too, Brother. It's not a weakness. It's a strength to be able to realize that a person can't do everything by themselves and recognize that they need help.
The VA system is flawed, deeply. And sadly, instead of being a resource for help, it acts as a deterrent. Hopefully, as issues such as PTSD stay in the spotlight, changes will continue to happen and we can shed the old attitude of depression being a mental defect and recognize it as a fluid, ever-changing (and most times) temporary condition.
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SSgt Forensic Meteorological Consultant
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SGT (Join to see) Thanks for your support. The past two to three days I have been despondent and tired along with the stress of talking to my dying friend, also Air Force Weather Forecaster, Too much in my mind is going on. But coming to RP helps for the most part.
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SPC Tyler Schmier
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What if the system asked the soldiers what was wrong? I have seen it before where people go for help and they have a drop down box of items they can choose from as their problem. I'm sorry, but no drop down menu or list of boxes has every single problem of any soldier. It is nearly impossible to receive help for your issues when the counsellors and leadership put words in your mouth. I have been to behavioral health and it was pretty abundantly clear from both my chain of command and my counsellor there, that this was just a formality and a box to check to cover the unit, commander, post, and big Army's a**. You want to help soldiers? Try actually caring for other reasons than your career and the Army's image.
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