Girlfriend keeps dreaming I died in a firefight. How do I take it?

Cole Onyx — Sun, 28 Oct 2018 06:43:24 -0400

My girlfriend of 8 months (not too long, but long enough to know me) has had several bad dreams about me. She dreamt I was walking down a dirty city street holding a gun, I get shot and killed in one fashion or another. Tonight was in the back. The only thing is she's dreamt of me dying in other ways before too, not consistent with the previous string of dreams. I'm not sure how to process this, should it be even more reason for me to join (for some greater reason) or should I take it as a sign to walk away?

Response by SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth made Oct 28 at 2018 6:46 AM

SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth — Sun, 28 Oct 2018 06:46:20 -0400

Sounds kind of spooky, my wife had dreams like that when I was in, I changed what I was doing, and the dreams stopped. Go with what you think is appropriate.

Response by SSG Laurie Mullen made Oct 28 at 2018 7:05 AM

SSG Laurie Mullen — Sun, 28 Oct 2018 07:05:38 -0400

I think it's just a symbol of her fear. While I was in I had a few dreams about my death. Being a member of the military, regardless of MOS, is very dangerous and dying is a very real possibility. Don't read too much into the dreams, remember, you could get killed just stepping off a curb.

Response by WO1 Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 28 at 2018 7:26 AM

WO1 Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 28 Oct 2018 07:26:12 -0400

Sounds like your girlfriend has watched too many war movies

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 28 at 2018 7:30 AM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 28 Oct 2018 07:30:52 -0400

What resulted from other dreams she had (related to you or not)? How possible are the dream scenarios for you? What does your intuition (a.k.a. vibe, gut, conscious, holy spirit) say? SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth and SSG Laurie Mullen offer opinions on opposite ends of possibilities based on experience. Reflect on yours.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 28 at 2018 7:38 AM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 28 Oct 2018 07:38:56 -0400

If it was me, tell her that the reasons that she is having those dreams is because she cares about you. But also tell her there is a higher calling that you are willing to do. There is nothing more Honorable than the be an Infantryman. My wife had similar dreams but she cared enough for me to stay with me and to give me strength while I am still in the Army.

You can tell her, “Only the dead have seen the end of War”

Response by SPC Joseph Wojcik made Oct 28 at 2018 7:41 AM

SPC Joseph Wojcik — Sun, 28 Oct 2018 07:41:28 -0400

War in dreams is often symbolic of interpersonal conflict, maybe your girlfriend is concerned that you joining the military would lead to relationship troubles.

Response by SFC Ralph E Kelley made Oct 28 at 2018 8:08 AM

SFC Ralph E Kelley — Sun, 28 Oct 2018 08:08:52 -0400

Dreams like that are common - but that doesn't make it less real for her or you.

Response by SSG Brian L. made Oct 28 at 2018 10:11 AM

SSG Brian L. — Sun, 28 Oct 2018 10:11:27 -0400

get a new one.... JK she will have to deal with it or.... reassure her that your training will be top notch and you will take every block of instruction seriously to attempt to mitigate and injury to you or a member of your team and the rest is in Odins hands

Response by SGM Bill Frazer made Oct 28 at 2018 10:20 AM

SGM Bill Frazer — Sun, 28 Oct 2018 10:20:00 -0400

Are you going to live your life based on others dreams or own your dreams?

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 28 at 2018 11:26 AM

1SG Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 28 Oct 2018 11:26:56 -0400

Maybe it's a sign to move to the country and avoid urban areas.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 28 at 2018 11:51 AM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 28 Oct 2018 11:51:33 -0400

Usually dream meanings are not meant to be so literal. It can be that she’s having a tough time accepting that you’re leaving, and her subconscious mind is separating you from her. She could have a general idea of soldiers going to war, dying or carrying weapons, as if that’s all we do. She doesn’t have the idea of what a work day for a soldier consists of. Kind of like how when you first tell your family you’re joining they automatically think when you leave that same day your going to Afghanistan or Iraq to fight the war- they don’t know about your MOS, motor-pool maintaince, layouts, paperwork or any other daily aspect of our jobs. You can read up on dream interpretations, it’s actually very interesting how the subconscious mind perceives events going in our lives and translates them into the dream world.

Response by SGT Joseph Gunderson made Oct 28 at 2018 12:47 PM

SGT Joseph Gunderson — Sun, 28 Oct 2018 12:47:24 -0400

I used to have dreams about sandwiches attempting to eat me... Should I be afraid of sandwiches? This is moronic.

Response by Sgt Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 28 at 2018 2:07 PM

Sgt Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 28 Oct 2018 14:07:06 -0400

I agree with SGM Bill Frazer. It is your life, so make your own dreams. You are not in the military, so you can not die in a firefight. If you join, you will train hard so that if you see combat, your enemies are the ones that die.

You have five previous Posts about health concerns. You also have other Posts about enlisting. We encouraged you to talk to a recruiter to see if you were eligible to enlist. Have you talked to a recruiter to see if you can enlist, and if not, why?

Response by CPL Peter King made Oct 28 at 2018 3:38 PM

CPL Peter King — Sun, 28 Oct 2018 15:38:02 -0400

Depends on you. Are you superstitious?

If you don’t go, will you regret it?

Response by Evan Duda made Oct 28 at 2018 3:43 PM

Evan Duda — Sun, 28 Oct 2018 15:43:09 -0400

It is deeply concerning that your girlfriend has fantasies of your death.
That being said, do what your dreams tell you to do! Do you want to be in an honorable position in the Army or do you want a bad dream to change that? It's a real easy question.

Response by SSG Harry Outcalt made Oct 28 at 2018 7:20 PM

SSG Harry Outcalt — Sun, 28 Oct 2018 19:20:47 -0400

This is a great question you are asking , and you are asking in the right place . First your girlfriend is afraid to lose you, that fear is causing her to dream all manner of ways she can lose you. The optimal word is she not you .... You need to stop listening to her fantasy's or you will take part in making them come true... Life is hard , sometimes that requires hard decisions ... Clearly you want something by joining the Military . One you can achieve stability early in life if you want it so you can share the adventure with your girlfriend . You catering to your girlfriend will build resentment about what you could have done instead ... So think wisely before you choose to decide your future..

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 28 at 2018 7:46 PM

SSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 28 Oct 2018 19:46:07 -0400

Assumptions made Girlfriend is not a mystic, clairvoyant, fortune teller, or from the future.
You should not base decisions for your life based off someone else's dreams. There may be a point in the future when you are making decisions based on the betterment of a family unit but for now your determinations are your own and for your betterment. Her dreams off loss could be because she is worried for you, about you, or worried about separation. Most likely the dreams are a form of separation anxiety. In order to assist with this; it would help for you to reassure her if you plan on continuing the relationship for the time being. You can attempt to get to the root cause of her anxiety whether it is just separation, misgivings about the military, or some other cause. But in order to help you have to talk.

Response by CPL Peter King made Oct 28 at 2018 9:41 PM

CPL Peter King — Sun, 28 Oct 2018 21:41:18 -0400

It’s your call.

Think very carefully about it. No one will blame you if you don’t go. But I’ve met enough people that said “I was going to join, but.....”

Response by LTC Jason Mackay made Oct 29 at 2018 1:00 AM

LTC Jason Mackay — Mon, 29 Oct 2018 01:00:34 -0400

Cole Onyx two schools of thought 1. she is worried and this is how it manifests.....or 2. has she tried talking you out of this before? If so, question the dreams.

Average person don't know squat about the services or soldiering, so they cling to the precious little they know, shade with Hollywood, and invent the rest.

There is only one man on here that can answer this question you've asked: population, you.

Could you be killed in combat? Yes. Could you be killed driving to MEPS? Yes. Could you be killed by a falling star? Sure. You can get killed falling off a barstool. While it is possible, the probability varies. Are you going to let that rule your life?

I don't buy in to premonition or the like. Some times you get a bad feeling about something. It is coming from the fact that you believe you are doing something dangerous or stupid.

I don't buy into luck, except if you define luck by opportunity meeting preparation.

Make your decision dry eyed and sober. Make sure you can live with it.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 29 at 2018 1:51 AM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 29 Oct 2018 01:51:46 -0400

I would tell her to stop watching movies. If she doesn't support you then she won't stick with you in the long run. I have had a pretty interesting career so far. I have ran into many people saying they were going to join but they didn't due to some reason like this or something else. They all regretted it. I wouldn't have thrown away an opportunity for something so silly. Girlfriends come and go. I wouldn't plan my life on a dream from one.

Response by Cpl Jeff N. made Oct 29 at 2018 12:38 PM

Cpl Jeff N. — Mon, 29 Oct 2018 12:38:45 -0400

It is a dream, not reality. You need to be able to separate the two. If you cannot (and your girlfriend) then you will be chasing phantoms your entire life.

Response by SSG Trevor S. made Oct 29 at 2018 12:44 PM

SSG Trevor S. — Mon, 29 Oct 2018 12:44:52 -0400

It sounds like she is trying to control your decision to join.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 31 at 2018 4:06 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 31 Oct 2018 16:06:57 -0400

My initial reaction to this post was, so what. But then, I recalled my wife telling me about a psychic she knew that told her that I would be involved in an explosion overseas. That was December 2002 that she had conferred with the woman just after we had been alerted for deployment. Fast forward 6 months or so, and I'm in Iraq and an enemy mortar round lands no more than 20 feet from me, causing significant injuries for others in my unit but leaving me relatively unscathed.

However, just because your girlfriend has these dreams shouldn't stop you. She obviously doesn't want to lose you and her perception of being in the military is that you could very well be killed...and you could. But, you can also be killed driving down the street or slipping in the bathtub.

Don't sweat it and do what you want to do. If joining the Army is what you want to do, then do it.

Response by Sgt Charles Welling made Nov 9 at 2018 10:45 AM

Sgt Charles Welling — Fri, 09 Nov 2018 10:45:43 -0500

You should take it as a clear sign that your girl friend had a dream. That's it!! Move on, you are concerned over something that has not happened at all and dreams mean little. As for your girl friend, she may want to talk to a Psychologist, she may have concerns that need to be dealt with.

Response by CPL Michael Headrick made Nov 15 at 2018 6:22 PM

CPL Michael Headrick — Thu, 15 Nov 2018 18:22:49 -0500

At least it's not you having the dream/nightmares. It is her problem to figure out but with your help and support. Good luck.

Response by SPC Martin Meyer made Nov 15 at 2018 9:47 PM

SPC Martin Meyer — Thu, 15 Nov 2018 21:47:02 -0500

My advise keep focused on the job at hand. If you lose your focus as an infantry soldier then you are in trouble. You goal is to survive remember Patton, "Your job is to make the other poor dumb bastard die for his country." I believe that is pretty close.

Response by SrA John Monette made Nov 15 at 2018 11:42 PM

SrA John Monette — Thu, 15 Nov 2018 23:42:44 -0500

both of you need to seek the advice and counsel of a psychic.

Response by SSG James N. made Nov 22 at 2018 8:26 AM

SSG James N. — Thu, 22 Nov 2018 08:26:49 -0500

Run. Don't walk, do not pass go. This is a needy woman who has deeper issues than you can see. Recommend she see a free therapist. My bet is she will totally, well, run!
She has bad dreams. Go live your own without her.