Have you had funeral detail requests from family members?

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 21 Nov 2014 22:35:59 -0500

While on funeral detail have you ever had any weird request by the family members? I have been a member on funeral details in the past but now I am the NCOIC for my team and just wondering what to expect and how to handle it.

Response by SFC Vernon McNabb made Nov 21 at 2014 10:43 PM

SFC Vernon McNabb — Fri, 21 Nov 2014 22:43:32 -0500

If there is a request from the family, I would think they would pass it along to the CAO. The CAO would them speak with the NCOIC of the detail.

Response by CW5 Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 21 at 2014 10:43 PM

CW5 Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 21 Nov 2014 22:43:57 -0500

SSG Private RallyPoint Member, at off-post funerals (off Arlington National Cemetery), I have had next of kin refuse the flag. It happened on a funeral detail I was part of once, and I've heard of it happening other times. Everyone handled the situation with respect and honor though. Especially the military (funeral detail). The flag was eventually handed to another relative.

I think you never know how grief will come out, but as long as you are professional, respectful, and courteous, you should be okay.

When I worked funerals - a LOT of them - in the Old Guard, there was a significant difference between what we called "on post" (Arlington) and "off post" (other cemeteries) funerals. It was at the off post ones that the strange things seemed to happen. In Arlington, families and next of kin generally knew what to expect. Away from Arlington that was not always the case.

Response by Cheryl Carrier made Apr 19 at 2016 2:43 AM

Cheryl Carrier — Tue, 19 Apr 2016 02:43:42 -0400

Any requests by the families are usually requested through the CAO who then in turns relays the requests to the Casualty office for further recommendation and guidance.