Posted on Nov 7, 2014
SSG Robert Burns
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It's no secret that marriage is tough in the military. After a decade of war, one of the biggest casualties has been our marriages and relationships with our significant others. I would like to use this forum to give folks the opportunity to share how they made it through long separations with the added stress of war. Feel free to share as much as you like. You could help save a family and someone much heartache in the future by sharing your lessons learned; successes and failures.
1. How did you do it?
2. If you didn't make it, how did you fail?
3. What should you not do?
4. What's the best thing your spouse can do for you while you are away?
5. How do you avoid "deployment love?"
6. Is there a such thing as too much communication while away?
Please don't limit yourself to these questions they are just ideas. Please provide any insight you may have.
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Responses: 14
SSG Human Resources Specialist
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Maintaining an intimate bond with your partner while living miles apart is a challenge. In order to make this circumstance more workable, a couple should establish clear expectations and boundaries in order to stay connected. Calling or Skype everyday, although great in concept, it's not just realistic. With my wife, I was calling everyday, not to be nosy but doing it because I was in far away place and reassuring her everything was alright. She got annoyed quickly and here's why. It didn't give us the opportunity to share things with each other in a more meaningful way. We both had work schedules, she had her own things she needed to get done, places to go, people to see etc. Our boundary was we set a time each week for me to call, it gave us the opportunity to share our events over the week, it gave us a lot more to talk about.

Along the same lines, give your partner every reason to trust you. Don’t put yourself in risky situations and keep independent tendencies in check. Be sure to use discretion when spending time with members of the opposite sex and remind yourself that you are in a relationship even when your partner is somewhere else. When in doubt, ask yourself this: would this situation make your partner uncomfortable? If the answer is yes, you’d be smart to avoid anything similar in the future.

And as corny as it sounds, yea I read the 5 Love Languages, it helped, really it did.
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SSG Robert Burns
SSG Robert Burns
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Removing yourself from the threat is always a good idea. ;-)
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SSG Jon Turner
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Much much prayer.
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SGT(P) Photographer/Owner
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Well for me personally before I even go into a relationship I let her know that we are both going to have to make sacrifices in order to make it work. And that it will be hard, but with hard work you definitely make the long haul.
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