Parents, With the way our military has changed and is changing, would you recommend your child to be in the Military?

2016-01-04T22:29:33-05:00

There have been a lot of changes some good, some I see as bad, Some examples automatic promotions, repel Don't ask don't tell, Open Transgenders serving, women in combat roles, getting rid of the 20 year retirment

Response by CSM Charles Hayden made Jan 4 at 2016 10:36 PM

2016-01-04T22:36:17-05:00

SFC Private RallyPoint Member Regretfully, I could not suggest my sons enlist or attempt the military!

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 4 at 2016 10:39 PM

2016-01-04T22:39:07-05:00

Honestly, I would only have one of my children enlist if it was to assist them with college but I would hopefully be able to steer them to another career that they would be able to be happier, better pay, better retirement, and as a parent hopefully not as dangerous. But also at the same time I would feel more than proud if either one of them were to join.

Response by SFC Joe S. Davis Jr., MSM, DSL made Jan 4 at 2016 10:44 PM

2016-01-04T22:44:28-05:00

SFC Private RallyPoint Member great question, I am asking my children to join all the time. Anyone who performs DUTY HONOR COUNTRY I have the utmost respect for. America still must be defended, and I am forever grateful to ALL whom defends this NATION.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 5 at 2016 12:43 AM

2016-01-05T00:43:17-05:00

Why not? If you think your kids shouldn't work in an environment like you described, you better not let them into the civilian world either, then. There, gays and transgenders live and work openly, women do all sorts of jobs, and no one gets a 20 year retirement. It seems to me your issues aren't really with how the military has changed, but rather how society has changed. The military always ends up reflecting society. Most likely by the time a young kid today gets to military age, they will think nothing of the topics that are such an issue to some today. As ancient predjudices fade away, a larger portion of our society will be able to live and work together, which will be a plus for our country and our military.

Response by SFC Stephen King made Jan 5 at 2016 5:15 AM

2016-01-05T05:15:11-05:00

Great question SFC Private RallyPoint Member I have had this particular conversation who my son. I told him if he chooses to serve like his father & grandfather's before him do it because he wants to. If he decides not to that is fine as well. Lastly, in all the changes that our military is enduring we are evolving and growing be aware of these as you make your choice.

Response by PO1 Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 5 at 2016 8:09 AM

2016-01-05T08:09:33-05:00

There are a lot more positives to come out of serving than negatives, even with the changes. If you are unable to overcome change or people who are different than you, maybe you need the military. I would absolutely support my kids joining if they chose to do so.

Response by SGM Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 5 at 2016 8:12 AM

2016-01-05T08:12:44-05:00

I think there are many more good reasons to want to serve. And I would support my son and daughter equally if they chose to serve in the military.

Response by SSgt Jim Gilmore made Jan 5 at 2016 8:16 AM

2016-01-05T08:16:45-05:00

We will still need war fighters regardless of the generation. The future military people will find a way to make the changes needed to keep the country safe in generations to come. I would never tell someone NOT to serve.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 5 at 2016 8:33 AM

2016-01-05T08:33:32-05:00

I know I'm not going to mention it to them. If they show some interest I will educate them and support them. Everyone has their own path.

Response by SGT Ben Keen made Jan 5 at 2016 8:40 AM

2016-01-05T08:40:01-05:00

Are you fearful of your kids working in an organization where homosexuals and transgenders are allowed to work and women allowed to serve in new areas? That what it seems like from your notes. If that is the case, are you not going to let your kids go to a college that accept homosexuals and transgenders as well? Are you not going to let them work somewhere that a female is the boss?

I would agree that the military has seen it's share of good and bad changes. I see the change of a 20 year retirement as a good thing, it allows service members to have a little more security when transitioning out. Automatic promotions for ranks above E4, probably not the best move the military has made but so was some on the newer MREs they introduced.

I just feel that the way you worded this discussion SFC Private RallyPoint Member, is going to leave a lot of people wondering what are your intentions.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 5 at 2016 9:41 AM

2016-01-05T09:41:54-05:00

If my children are set on joining the military, then who am I to stop them? After all my years in, if my kids ask me my opinion and I tell them to not join, then I would feel like a big old hypocrite. The only thing I would suggest is that they be certain and solid about their choice before signing.........and to get their college education first. Because, personally, I would LOVE to stand proud and tall watching my daughter(s) graduate from Basic Training.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 5 at 2016 9:52 AM

2016-01-05T09:52:43-05:00

Absolutely. My daughter served 8 years in the National Guard. My oldest son could not get in, due to childhood asthma. Youngest son is planning to make it a career.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 5 at 2016 11:07 AM

2016-01-05T11:07:53-05:00

My children are the most precious things to me, and I only want their happiness. If they were to want to follow in my footsteps, I would be immensely proud.
My concerns are probably similar to most parents' -

Will they be well-trained? I look around the climate of the military, and we seem to be prioritizing a lot of things that are not preparing us to fight an win the nation's wars.

Will they be taken care of? I hope so, but I know it is a function of the quality of leaders they get. I can best prepare them by teaching them how to help themselves.

Will they return to me with a hug, or in a box? Every parent's worst nightmare is to have to bury a child.

If they return home and are not whole, will they receive the best treatment possible? Sadly, the answer to that seems to be no.

Ultimately, it will be their choice to find their own way. My middle son has expressed some interest. In his eight year-old mind it would be cool to be a Soldier. When he's ready, I'll tell him what it is really like. Until then, I will raise them to be the best people they can be, and hope that they make good choices with the tools and opportunities that they have.

Response by PO1 Cameron Rhyne made Jan 5 at 2016 11:11 AM

2016-01-05T11:11:50-05:00

I worked recruiting and while I don't yet have kids, I probably will someday. My answer is the same one I had as a recruiter: If my child showed an interest in it, I'd be happy to talk to them about it and find out what they wanted out of it. I'd also happily go to the recruiting station(s) with them when the time came to make sure they knew what they were getting into and make sure that was the right choice.

The military suits some people very well and others not so much. There is no one size fits all.

Response by Capt Mark Strobl made Jan 5 at 2016 11:28 AM

2016-01-05T11:28:16-05:00

As veterans and parents, my wife and I, both, have reflected on this very question. My son (10) says he wants to be a Marine. My second daughter (15) has her sights set on the Air Force Academy. This afternoon, my oldest (17) is interviewing for an Army ROTC scholarship. We've had long, heart-to-heart conversations --with the girls especially. We're guarded in these choices --because we've "been there/done that." Women in combat, transgender people, blacks, whites, gays, straights, Democrats, Republican... Really? Who gives a flying red rat's backside?! By the end of high school, today's teens are quantum years beyond us old fogies who sit and swear at the television news. Especially for women, the military offers an equal footing to start one's journey into adulthood. The experience that lies before them is unparalleled. Would I deny them that? No. Do I WANT my kids to join the military? Well, not really. But, I would support them 100%.

Response by SFC William Adamek made Jan 5 at 2016 11:36 AM

2016-01-05T11:36:44-05:00

I have a HS senior at home that cannot join because of a metal rod in his leg along with other metal appliances. Before this accident happened we had discussed him going into the military in quite detail. The only real guidance I gave him was to only go in for one enlistment. As a recruiter that sold free medical for life to retirees and seeing the continued degradation of benefits (to include for profit commissary and PX's), it is obvious that the phrase "Thank you for your service" is nothing more than lip service in DC. Go in, do your part, and get out, is now this recruiters guidance.

Response by SGT Cody Skinner made Jan 5 at 2016 12:05 PM

2016-01-05T12:05:14-05:00

To begin with, I will support my Children 100% in what ever they want to do with their life as long as it makes them a Productive Member of Society. There are many different things they can do and I will steer / teach them the best I can to help make them Productive Members of Society.

Personally I do not want my Children to Serve. I enjoyed my time in the Service and I would do it agian in a heart beat because I had lost my direction and needed something to put me back on track. But, the Military has left My Wife and I mentally and physically "broken" for lack of a better word. I do not want my Children to have to live and fight the Demons we struggle / deal with on a daily basis. I want them to be able to grow up to do what ever they want to do in life, but Military Service is not one that I would prefer the do.

Response by SMSgt Thor Merich made Jan 5 at 2016 12:06 PM

2016-01-05T12:06:23-05:00

While the Military has changed, there are always changes in life. Some good, some bad, and most indifferent. Humans, in general, don't like change so any change has a negative connotation.

That being said, yes I would recommend to my children to join. The best part of the military are the more intangible things. Like learning how to work in a team environment. Being exposed to people who are not like themselves and trusting them. Most importantly trusting that the man/woman next to you will have your back no matter what.

Few occupations offer that type of environment and for most folks it will be the only time in their lives that they experience it.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Jan 5 at 2016 12:22 PM

2016-01-05T12:22:48-05:00

This is ultimately a selfish reason. I want a son to go into the military so he can get his shit together, and for that, I feel shame.

Response by SSG Carlos Madden made Jan 5 at 2016 12:59 PM

2016-01-05T12:59:24-05:00

If an individual chooses not to serve their nation because they don't want to be around other Americans within the ranks, then its probably better for everyone they don't join.

Response by SCPO Charles Thomas "Tom" Canterbury made Jan 5 at 2016 1:48 PM

2016-01-05T13:48:29-05:00

SFC Private RallyPoint Member - That's a tough question but one I've pondered since my son was born. My youngest is a toddler and his older sister wouldn't qualify for the military. I know many have followed their parents' footsteps into the military. These are crazy times though within our own society.

I will give my son the final say in that time, but I will push him towards higher education and help him make the best choices. We can only provide the avenue but ultimately they will do what they want. I will make sure he knows my concerns and I will let him know what I think is the best way but ultimately he must choose his own path to manhood and if rather him make a harder life for himself and in doing so being happy than to take Dad and Mom's wishes before his own and be miserable.

This is a hard one. The mentality that worked for us doesn't work on these millennials and who knows what leadership style it will take to lead the next generation.

Response by PO1 Glenn Boucher made Jan 5 at 2016 1:56 PM

2016-01-05T13:56:09-05:00

I advised my children, their friends and my nieces and nephews about military service.
I told them that they have to decide what they want to get out of the service and that the military is nowhere close to a civilian job. Your on duty / call 24/7, 365 days a year. You cannot just take vacation when you want to, you have to follow stricter grooming and uniform standards. Your life will change and if your not willing to make the change then your life will be hell.
I also told them not to believe any recruiter who tells them they guarantee they will not have to go to a war zone or deploy. The job of the military is to go where told and do what they are told, its not a choice.
Overall the military was very good to me, but I went in having a good idea of what I wanted to get out of it and where I wanted to be. The military is only a bad choice if your not prepared for a major change of your current lifestyle.

Response by Lt Col Scott Shuttleworth made Jan 5 at 2016 2:37 PM

2016-01-05T14:37:00-05:00

I have always told my daughter that in order to be successful in life you have to find out what makes you tick and makes you happy and you will be good at it and you will be a success...may not make a lot of money but you will have a great life. The military was extremely good for a young punk kid like me...I would have never been where I am now if it wasn't for the military. If the military for her then so be it. She is very patriotic and Duty/Honor/Country mean a lot more to her than most teenagers...she gets it as do a lot of military kids. I wouldn't recommend it or push it but if she chose to serve, I would support it wholeheartedly. Unfortunately, the military is a microcosm of society and she will face the same issues mentioned above working as a civilian. For every "negative" thing I can remember 20 good ones i.e., Teamwork/Mission Accomplishment/Fitness/Housing/Invaluable training/Leadership opportunities, and so on and so on.

Response by LCDR Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 5 at 2016 3:56 PM

2016-01-05T15:56:21-05:00

Short answer? No.

I really don't care where society is "going"...it's been going to hell on handcarts since as long as anyone bothered to keep score, and I don't see that changing soon-Particularly with a lot of people cheering it on.

My dad didn't want me to go...because he did. His grandfather, a WWI vet (who raised him because his dad didn't make it home from WWII) didn't want Dad to serve. I won't want "E-Bug" to ask me to sign those papers either...but it isn't really my choice, is it?

If he goes, I can't imagine watching him train to fight an enemy no one will define, with rules that don't allow him to win...worse still, I can't imagine watching him deploy without being able to hide my old and busted a few hundred yards away-just in case.

If he does it, I'll honor him as not only my son, but a man with the courage and honor to put skin into the game...If he doesn't, I'll be grateful to God he doesn't have to work for years to get it "out of his system", losing a lot of valuable time and life along the way.

Sorry...probably a little grimmer than I wanted it to sound, but the pics bring back memories.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 5 at 2016 4:31 PM

2016-01-05T16:31:52-05:00

No. I would absolutely not. Not until we lose this "politically correct" nonsense of catering to the tender-hearted feelings of incoming soldiers. Just in the last two years, the changes that have worked their way into the Army (I frequently talk to Infantry OSUT graduates to compare my experience with theirs), have nearly destroyed what made us the baddest military on the planet. We are now afraid to put our trainees through pain and mental anguish, which ultimately made us stronger and more resilient. I watched a grown man break down crying because his team leader told him to stop "being a little bitch" and do his job, and that insult was too harsh for him to take. That tells me that his IET cadre failed him by not making him a resilient soldier. There is nothing that someone can say to me that will cause me to break down like that, because form a young age, I was shaped into a resilient person. From bullies, to an Army father and family, to my IET cadre, to my NCOs and Officers in my units. But that way of life doesn't exist any more and I will not encourage or recommend that my children be a part of this organization, so long as this mindset and weakness is allowed to continue to plague this military. You are weak until your feelings get hurt. It is then that you find out how strong you really are.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 5 at 2016 9:19 PM

2016-01-05T21:19:36-05:00

I recommend and encourage my children that they join as soon as they are old enough. I don't care what branch, active, guard, reserve. It's about service and opportunities. Fortunately my daughter has already joined and will leave for basic in June after graduation. Regardless of auto promotions, women in combat rolls, I feel that it is important to encourage our children to follow in our footsteps and serve our country. Lord knows the pickings are getting slim for people who are going to willingly and faithfully serve their country.

Response by PFC Stephen Eric Serati made Jan 5 at 2016 9:28 PM

2016-01-05T21:28:27-05:00

My Son will be 17 in May,athletic,and good hand eye coordination me and him played HALO 4 the other day and beat it on campaign on normal in 5hrs he carried me.I love my Country but I love him to.I have no doubt he would be better than me.My biggest consern is that we send our Sons and Daughters to wars that never should have happened and the profiteering off war and resources.That may not be Patriotic of me maybe selfish,I just believe war should be the very very last resort.

Response by SGM Matthew Quick made Jan 5 at 2016 10:28 PM

2016-01-05T22:28:00-05:00

I'd not only recommend military service, I'm ENCOURAGING it!

The military (and society) is ever-changing...no need to shy away from service to our Nation because of kainotophobia (fear of change).

Response by SGT Chris Hill made Jan 5 at 2016 11:36 PM

2016-01-05T23:36:31-05:00

This is going to sound sexist but oh well, if it's my son, it would depend on how he grows up. If he lacks a lot of qualities he needs in the civilian sector, then yes, he should serve and learn. If it was my 2 girls, HELL NO. JUST NO. This should not need an explanation.

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 6 at 2016 3:57 PM

2016-01-06T15:57:12-05:00

Don't have a problem with any of the things listed above except the loss of the 20yr retirement. I really feel for all those recruiting right now. It's going to be hard to sale this lifestyle without it.

Response by CSM Charles Hayden made Jan 6 at 2016 9:37 PM

2016-01-06T21:37:03-05:00

SFC Private RallyPoint Member After my brother, uncle of my 5 & 6 year old sons was KIA in Nam and the people who fled to Canada to escape the draft were "pardoned", my attitude has changed!

I am bitter; the US steps in, helps, takes crap, gives pallets of $100 bills w/ little accountability and achieves nothing!

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 7 at 2016 6:44 AM

2016-01-07T06:44:13-05:00

Yes, I would encourage them to join. Especially if thats what direction they wanted in life. I was very proud watching my son SSG Steven Borders graduate basic training and watching him progress through his career.

Response by SFC Dr. Joseph Finck, BS, MA, DSS made Jan 7 at 2016 6:54 AM

2016-01-07T06:54:28-05:00

SFC Private RallyPoint Member My daughter, enlisted and has taken her initial enlistment oath in the United States Air Force. I could not be more proud of her choice. I have trepidation over the change to the retirement system, if she selects to remain until she is eligible; however, The culture, ethos, and values we shared with our predecessors is alive and well and I look forward to the favorable influence and impact this will have on her.

What greater legacy can we have than a child who serves our Great Republic as a Soldier, Sailor, Airmen, Marine, or Coast Guardsmen?

Great topic,

Response by TSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 7 at 2016 1:01 PM

2016-01-07T13:01:20-05:00

Even with the changes you describe I will still recommend it as an option to my kids. I think that it helps build character, self reliance, respect for authority, leadership skills; at least it did for me. And if nothing else, to pay for college; I know I am sure not paying for them.

Response by A1C Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 8 at 2016 8:57 PM

2016-01-08T20:57:48-05:00

Of course I would recommend the military to my child, I don't see why someone wouldn't. But honestly, that would be something you should leave to your kids. You can always state your opinion, give them facts, pros and cons as well. But at the end of the day, they're going to do what's best for them and their future. No matter what the military is going to keep changing, as it is now. It'll be different 5 years from now, and most likely much different not too long down the line from then. If my daughter were to come to me and says eh wanted to join the military, I'd definitely be proud of her brave and bold decision, but I wouldn't think anything less of her, even if she wanted to be in combat. I'm proud of the country I serve now, and I'ld be forever grateful if she wanted to follow in my footsteps years from now.

Response by Patricia Poteet made Jan 9 at 2016 4:22 PM

2016-01-09T16:22:21-05:00

Response by John Brouse III made Jan 10 at 2016 11:51 AM

2016-01-10T11:51:18-05:00

As a Father of a soldier that is diploid over seas with out a doubt I would say yes. I can't be more proud of what my Son is doing. Not only the life lessons that he is learning but the discipline and structure that is instilled in these young men and woman. My Son went in the Army at the age of 17 and just from boot camp and the initial training that he received he came back changed for ever (in a good way).

Response by SGT Benjamin Lindsey made Jan 16 at 2016 10:15 AM

2016-01-16T10:15:11-05:00

Yes, in a heart beat. The military always changes, to say it is the same as when your father, mother, uncle or aunt were in is untrue. The skills I learned while in the Army will be learned by my children/nephews just the same as my dad and uncle learned when they were in. Though things change in the civilian world the military still has higher standards than the civilian world does. Those standards are what they will learn and remeber for the rest of their lifes There is also no better pride than that of selfless service to one's country.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 3 at 2016 5:46 PM

2016-02-03T17:46:35-05:00

SFC Golden, regardless of the changes, I would 100% be proud for both of my daughters to serve in the military.

Before I enlisted (at 25), I had a go-nowhere attitude and job, and my life reflected it. The Marines squared me away, the GI Bill gave me a degree, and the Army gave me a career. If I had not joined the military, I don't know where I'd be, but it wouldn't be good.

I understand your reservation with social changes in the military, but I think the tangible (job skills, college money, benefits) and intangibles (values, citizenship, teamwork) of being in the military tip the scales towards the "good side" (in my opinion).

If my kids don't want to serve, I am okay with that too, but I would definitely support them if they chose to enlist or become an officer.

Response by Sgt Ken Prescott made Mar 4 at 2016 7:07 AM

2016-03-04T07:07:49-05:00

Today's military is not being trained and equipped to fight and win on the battlefield, but they're going to be called to fight.

America is going to pay a ghastly price for our loudly-self-proclaimed-betters' sins, and anyone foolish enough to enlist today is going to pay that price in blood.

When I see today's children of privilege getting drafted into "trampler battalions," I might change my mind.

Response by CSM Darieus ZaGara made Apr 17 at 2016 5:53 AM

2016-04-17T05:53:10-04:00

Service to country is a selfless act. For most the journey does not begin that way, but through the first tour is settles in. You have to be all in, if your values are not in line with military values you should not join. If those values change post service you should think about leaving as it is your responsibility to follow orders of those appointed over you.

Response by PO3 Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 19 at 2017 9:27 PM

2017-04-19T21:27:45-04:00

I would say yes absolutely.
But ensure they choose the job that can be used in the civilian world.
Study the jobs, test out early and use the delayed entry.
With good guidance that little one can become leadership and have a positive influence to the whole organization.

Response by SFC George Smith made Apr 19 at 2017 9:30 PM

2017-04-19T21:30:55-04:00

My Grand Son id going to enlist in July... I think the next 4 years will be interesting...

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 19 at 2017 9:46 PM

2017-04-19T21:46:19-04:00

I'll never force it on them; I will tell them what I have experienced-which is only a fraction of what the army i-and let them decide for themselves. From an organizational standpoint, all I can do is try to leave my foxhole better than I found it and encourage others to do the same.