Should Wives 'Honor and Respect and Follow Their Husband's Lead'?

SGM Matthew Quick — Sun, 01 May 2016 18:05:11 -0400

In a recent interview with the Christian Post, the former Growing Pains star said, "Wives are to honor and respect and follow their husband's lead, not to tell their husband how he ought to be a better husband. When each person gets their part right, regardless of how their spouse is treating them, there is hope for real change in their marriage."

Response by CPT Jack Durish made May 1 at 2016 6:07 PM

CPT Jack Durish — Sun, 01 May 2016 18:07:56 -0400

Someone is asking for a whole lot of a$$ whooping, aren't they?

Response by CPT Jason Torpy made May 1 at 2016 6:14 PM

CPT Jason Torpy — Sun, 01 May 2016 18:14:41 -0400

Only if you're a stoneheaded, woman-hating fundamentalist.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made May 1 at 2016 6:32 PM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 01 May 2016 18:32:43 -0400

Absolutely right, SGM. Don't tell my wife I said that, though.

Response by CPT Joseph K Murdock made May 1 at 2016 6:54 PM

CPT Joseph K Murdock — Sun, 01 May 2016 18:54:39 -0400

My wife takes all my money and I am the house hussy. My spirit is broken like a $10 mule.

Response by Capt Daniel Goodman made May 1 at 2016 7:56 PM

Capt Daniel Goodman — Sun, 01 May 2016 19:56:16 -0400

I suppose that, stereotypically in the present era, such an notion would be characteristically dismissed as pure, mere anachronistic mid Victorian drivel. That being said, marital bliss aside, perhaps in the svcs, where of course, I'd never been married at that point, the predominantly male view of what I gather is still a mainly male body of participants might conceivably still hod at least some sort of sway, regardless!of how clearly anachronistic such a viewpoint might be deemed by the rest of society. There was a quote interesting and equally pithy remark due I think to the actor hugh Jackman to the effect, would you rather be right, or would you rather be married, which, as I think about it, pretty much does just about say it all, lol.

Response by PO1 William "Chip" Nagel made May 1 at 2016 8:45 PM

PO1 William "Chip" Nagel — Sun, 01 May 2016 20:45:52 -0400

If I want someone or something to follow me that Uncritically I'll get a dog.

Response by MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca made May 1 at 2016 8:53 PM

MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca — Sun, 01 May 2016 20:53:26 -0400

The feminists are probably having a ball with this one!!

Response by MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca made May 1 at 2016 9:00 PM

MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca — Sun, 01 May 2016 21:00:30 -0400

Honestly for the past 22 years I've been following my wife's lead and it's worked out pretty well :-) We make all our decisions together because we honor and respect EACH OTHER. Sometimes she drives, sometimes I drive based on where the priorities of our kids and families are in our lives.

Response by CMSgt Private RallyPoint Member made May 1 at 2016 9:18 PM

CMSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 01 May 2016 21:18:16 -0400

If this is the kind of relationship a husband and wife desire, so be it. However, in my experience a successful marriage depends first on love and trust, not a power dynamic. It certainly isn't made successful by establishing - or abiding by - a hierarchy and following whatever rules the top dog deems appropriate, regardless of where he (in this case) claims to draw authority from.

In my own marriage, my wife has some talents and I have others. We work well together as a team, without the need for any implicit or explicit hierarchy. I don't need a field manual, regulation, instruction, directive, set of laws, or book of ancient wisdom to tell me what my - or my wife's - role is or should be for us to have a rich, fulfilling relationship and success in life. And what more does anyone want out of their marriages than that? I don't mean to belittle anyone's beliefs, but it boggles my mind to be reminded that some folks depend on ancient wisdom literature to tell them who they are and how to be good spouses, good neighbors, and good people.

Oh, and regardless of beliefs, Kirk Cameron is the last person I'd turn to for advice on anything other than child stardom.

Response by SGT David T. made May 1 at 2016 9:21 PM

SGT David T. — Sun, 01 May 2016 21:21:48 -0400

If that is what they choose then so be it. It wouldn't work for me because I prefer an equal who will challenge me but that is just personal preference.

Response by SGM Mikel Dawson made May 1 at 2016 9:30 PM

SGM Mikel Dawson — Sun, 01 May 2016 21:30:58 -0400

Seems to me it's up to the parties involved in the marriage on how they want to work out their relationship - after all - it's them who's got to make or break it.

Response by SFC William Farrell made May 1 at 2016 10:29 PM

SFC William Farrell — Sun, 01 May 2016 22:29:38 -0400

I think the last sentence really says i all SGM Matthew Quick. Marriage is a two way street, we both have to do our parts.

Response by CPT Aaron Kletzing made May 2 at 2016 12:02 AM

CPT Aaron Kletzing — Mon, 02 May 2016 00:02:47 -0400

I think it's just a certain interpretation of scripture and should not be taken out of context beyond that

Response by MSG Jay Jackson made May 2 at 2016 1:17 AM

MSG Jay Jackson — Mon, 02 May 2016 01:17:14 -0400

I can do anything I want to, whenever I want to sleep on the couch!

Response by Keri S made May 2 at 2016 1:18 AM

Keri S — Mon, 02 May 2016 01:18:33 -0400

I think if you have a good husband that does right by you, then absolutely. But a good husband would confide and talk with and look to his wife for support and discuss things with her.
I would atand by my husband and do as he said or needed me to.
However, if he is treating me bad or just plain ignorant and not thinking things through or even listening to others ideas or intaking more then just his own ideas or opinions then he can take a long hike off a short pier.
Just saying.

Response by SFC Joseph Weber made May 2 at 2016 4:44 AM

SFC Joseph Weber — Mon, 02 May 2016 04:44:45 -0400

I just had my 33rd anniversary. If I told that to my wife I'd be in the hospital by the next day.

Response by PO2 Joseph Hodges made May 2 at 2016 5:01 AM

PO2 Joseph Hodges — Mon, 02 May 2016 05:01:29 -0400

Sorry but this is not the 1950s. Women work, raise kids, and go to college to become doctors and lawyers. There needs to be mutual respect for a marriage to last.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made May 2 at 2016 7:30 AM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 02 May 2016 07:30:09 -0400

Yes, absolutely, just like the wise and seasoned PSG "follows" the bumbling 2LT's lead. :) Just kidding.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made May 2 at 2016 9:54 AM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 02 May 2016 09:54:07 -0400

I would say each marriage is unique. What works in some will not in others. It is the responsibility of the partners to figure out rules, roles, and etc.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made May 2 at 2016 10:09 AM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 02 May 2016 10:09:01 -0400

Well, if this particular comment on the marriage plan works for him and his wife, then good on him............but that plan will NOT work in my house.

Response by SGT Aaron Atwood made May 2 at 2016 11:02 AM

SGT Aaron Atwood — Mon, 02 May 2016 11:02:38 -0400

Before I put any ring on my wife's finger I made us agree to tell each other anything and everything regardless of any emotional repercussions it may cause on the other (basically say what we need to hear vs what we want to hear). It has made our relationship difficult at times, but I'll argue all the way that the agreement has saved our marriage multiple times already.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made May 2 at 2016 11:50 AM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 02 May 2016 11:50:35 -0400

I've been married for 22 years and I learned a long time ago that while we are very different, we also very equal.

A marriage is not a hierarchical relationship.

Response by MAJ Keira Brennan made May 2 at 2016 6:54 PM

MAJ Keira Brennan — Mon, 02 May 2016 18:54:26 -0400

More conservative Christian scheisse on RP. Rally Point = republican party. Good luck with that.

Response by PO2 Private RallyPoint Member made May 2 at 2016 7:09 PM

PO2 Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 02 May 2016 19:09:22 -0400

I think it should be Honor and Respect each other. Who follows whose lead is entirely up to the couple though. Personally in my relationship it depends on the situation for who follows whose lead.

Response by SrA Lauren Kresse made May 2 at 2016 7:13 PM

SrA Lauren Kresse — Mon, 02 May 2016 19:13:43 -0400

In a marriage both parties should honor and respect one another. My husband and I work together, we do the same job, but I've been a cop longer, I make more money, the house is in my name, the car is in my name and I pretty much call the shots. But my husband is a very laid back calm man who does not mind if I take the lead. Depends on the the people in the marriage. I'm not religious at all, so I'm not really down with the old school thinking of women doing what the man says and support him no matter what. It's got to be a 2 way street!

Response by COL Charles Williams made May 2 at 2016 11:11 PM

COL Charles Williams — Mon, 02 May 2016 23:11:42 -0400

I personally think that is a two way street. Being married is team effort. I have been with my wife since HS, and married since 1983, and never considered myself to be in the lead.

Response by Capt Gregory Prickett made May 3 at 2016 12:45 PM

Capt Gregory Prickett — Tue, 03 May 2016 12:45:39 -0400

Kirk Cameron is an idiot. Why would I be inclined to follow his advice?

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made May 3 at 2016 2:03 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 03 May 2016 14:03:37 -0400

Husbands and wives should honor and respect each other, they should be equal partners in a relationship.

Response by SPC Edward Robinson made May 3 at 2016 3:26 PM

SPC Edward Robinson — Tue, 03 May 2016 15:26:21 -0400

The way I see it you both are equals, not above or below each other. Treat each other with respect and honor the marriage. I rather have someone who is my equal not above me or below me, we work together not against each other.
As for listening to someone out of Hollyweird NO THANK YOU! People God gave you a brain use it and trust in prayer it works.

Response by Maj Kim Patterson made May 3 at 2016 6:50 PM

Maj Kim Patterson — Tue, 03 May 2016 18:50:57 -0400

Perhaps that's what I got wrong, I'm a leader by nature and nurture. I am capable of following and certainly honor and respect. I tried the follow the husband's lead the first time around and lived to tell the tale. I would go to the base and be in command of hundreds of airmen and go home and take the subservient wife role. It was just too big of a change. In my second go round there exists a mutual respect and we take turns at the lead. We have different strengths so it's not even always 50:50. Sometimes it's 90:10 and some times it's 100:100 when we both give it all we've got. I got lucky. I found someone that respects women and believes in honor, to self, family, service and God.

Response by CPT Pedro Meza made May 3 at 2016 7:19 PM

CPT Pedro Meza — Tue, 03 May 2016 19:19:52 -0400

No wives should not be forced to "Wives 'Honor and Respect and Follow Their Husband's Lead", women/wives have the right to do what is in their hearts, and if men have to demand then they should not have married them to begin. The fact that one woman/wife suggest it, only applies to this one woman/wife. Me I life my wives feisty and do not like Stepford wife!

Response by CPO Sheryl Alford made May 3 at 2016 7:43 PM

CPO Sheryl Alford — Tue, 03 May 2016 19:43:23 -0400

The Bible instructs wives to be submissive to their husbands; meaning...their husbands are the head of the household and his wife should honor that. The Bible also instructs husbands to love their wives as God loves the church.

Response by Capt Terry Fillmore made May 3 at 2016 8:42 PM

Capt Terry Fillmore — Tue, 03 May 2016 20:42:33 -0400

My wife and I have been married for 36 years. Before we got married we were both Christians, and I told her that if we got married, we had to make a commitment to never divorce. She agreed. She agrees that I am the head of the home, but we make decisions together. I think many of the posters are misinterpreting Kirk Cameron. There is no question that the husband is to be the head of the home, just like Jesus is the head of the Church. If we do not agree about something, my wife will always concede to me, but that rarely happens in our marriage. We've had our ups and downs, but the longer we've been married, the stronger our bond has become. I promise that Kirk was not saying that the husband is to lord over the wife, contrary to what many think.

Response by MAJ Keira Brennan made May 4 at 2016 2:44 PM

MAJ Keira Brennan — Wed, 04 May 2016 14:44:47 -0400

Misogynistic bronze age crap. Posted by a outdated caveman and supported a bunch of white males. How people can take this stuff seriously in the 21st century is IMO laughable.

Response by PO1 Private RallyPoint Member made May 4 at 2016 5:01 PM

PO1 Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 04 May 2016 17:01:07 -0400

The need for a joint resolution to that question is paramount. Marriage has a way of "nulling" ego in either man or woman. If neither can agree, revisit the vows and the life immediately before the I'do's.

Response by SGT Anthony Rossi made May 6 at 2016 3:51 AM

SGT Anthony Rossi — Fri, 06 May 2016 03:51:24 -0400

He is correct when it comes to a relationship between two Christians.
And for this Pastor who's wife is also a veteran it has worked rather well for our 20 years of marriage. The general rule is this:
HUSBAND LOVE THEIR WIFE (putting their needs first)
Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

WIVES RESPECT THEIR HUSBAND (honoring him as the leader)
Eph 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

It's not hard for a woman to follow a man that would always place her needs above his own!

Response by SPC Mark Beard made May 6 at 2016 7:29 AM

SPC Mark Beard — Fri, 06 May 2016 07:29:33 -0400

I feel communication is so very important in a marriage however not to tear down are cut down the other but to say to your spouse how much you love them and how your marriage would be so much stronger if they did this after all your spouse and you should have a 50/50 relationship

Response by SGT Anna Kleinschmidt made Jun 15 at 2017 5:05 AM

SGT Anna Kleinschmidt — Thu, 15 Jun 2017 05:05:00 -0400

I have a cousin that is an evangelical pastor and he and his wife both believe this. On the surface they are the perfect happy couple. Those that know them closest know it's all an act. They are misrable. I would leave him if I were her! My husband knows not to try that crap with me, but then one of the things that he fell in love with me for was because I was an independent strong woman that could think for herself. A solider doesn't need a wife that needs to be taken care of. We need someone that can take care of business when we have a mission to focus on.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 15 at 2017 8:12 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 15 Jun 2017 20:12:27 -0400

No. Women are people not pets, they don't need to submit to us. That's absolute drivel if I've ever heard it and contradictory to the third Army Value.