The terms fairness and why? Have you heard them?

SSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 04 Sep 2014 02:55:50 -0400

As many of us are parents and many of us have had the cry of unfairness or why, from troops under us we can understand it's implications in the work place.

Life is not fair in some respects but we often look the gift horse in the mouth. Feeling we need justification for some action, wrong or right and that we are being picked on unfairly.

In the book 'Slaughterhouse Five' the issue of 'why' came up and the response in the book was, "why this, why that, why anything for that matter? There is no why, there just is.

A lot of people ahead of us have asked these questions and I think we all can say, "Beats me"?

Response by SSgt Gregory Guina made Sep 4 at 2014 3:43 AM

SSgt Gregory Guina — Thu, 04 Sep 2014 03:43:32 -0400

My 6 year old daughter is the master "its not fair" girl you could ever find. Guess what though she is learning that no life isn't fair. Noe everyone gets the same things or same opportunities. Sometimes it is because she is 6 and her brothers are almost 13. Other times it is because her sister is not quite three and doesn't understand everything that a 6 year old does and should. She is learning and it is becoming less and less so hopefully her mom and I are teaching her properly and she wont become such an entitled brat that I see out there all the time. (She is a bit spoiled though they all are).

Response by SFC Mark Merino made Sep 4 at 2014 4:01 AM

SFC Mark Merino — Thu, 04 Sep 2014 04:01:59 -0400

That's a serious deep thought SSgt Private RallyPoint Member . I spent too long being upset and angry at the world. It is so easy to point out the bad in the world or to try to swim in an ocean of crap and try to keep your head above water. I don't put blinders on to the world, but sometimes I just can't focus on the negatives at times. I don't think that we were put on this planet to make piles of money and die with a house full of the most modern stuff ever to be made. I can't solve world hunger, and donating $20 a month will not give me satisfaction. I can support people willing to go over and dig a well if I can't do it myself. I'm not a very good civilian yet. I spent all my time wearing a uniform and all I know are a very select group of people. Since I can't wear a uniform anymore, I went to school to try to learn how to help our nation's heroes readjust after their time spent in combat. I did it for a short time and had to return from Alaska to get divorced and get some more surgeries. Until I can get back to doing what I love with the people that I admire, I find myself drawn to this site trying to motivate people's funny bone to work or to give encouragement whenever I can. We live in a beautiful world. We just get sent to lousy places because our country refuses to sit idly by while bullies try to instill terror into people who can't fight back. The media shows the darkest sides of human nature 24/7 because it sells. The haves screw over anyone they can t make themselves richer. Some people refuse to get off their butt because they have a PhD in screwing over hard working taxpayers by working the system. If I have the choice of rioting and burning down my own town or exploiting others for my own personal gain, I chose none of the above. I'm going to do my best to teach others that life is worth living. People need to find a way to help others in need and get off their tush and try to make it happen. I'm rambling......

Response by LTC Hillary Luton made Sep 4 at 2014 7:48 AM

LTC Hillary Luton — Thu, 04 Sep 2014 07:48:12 -0400

I guess I've heard the "that's not fair" line enough that I try to keep it out of my own vocabulary. I may not like the way someone treats me, but its not a matter of being fair. And I'm not sure "why" is even relevant.

I'm a firm believer in life being what we make of it. Good and bad things happen in our lives, and how we handle them is completely up to us. If something horrific happens to someone, they are a victim at that moment, but how long they remain a victim is up to them. I've had bad things happen to me in life, but I refuse to live my life as a victim. I refuse to give someone that kind of power over me.

I also believe there is something to be said for karma. I have seen too many instances in which someone inflicted harm on another and harm came back to them, and the same for acts of kindness. Last night I was walking out of the PX and an older women dropped her bottle of juice. I stopped and picked it up for her. Did something good happen to me on the way home? No, not that I can recall, but that's not the point. I was just glad to help, even if it was just a simple small act.

I have no idea where I'm going with this response, but I guess the point is, if you want to ask the question "why", maybe the the better question is "why not?"

Response by Cpl Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 4 at 2014 12:31 PM

Cpl Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 04 Sep 2014 12:31:36 -0400

As a young Marine, I rarely asked why and instead took it upon myself to investigate. Usually found nothing to which would validate or invalidate which is probably the reason for why.

As I got older and started mentoring my kids and the scouts I was responsible for, whenever I was asked why, I would immediately stop what we were doing to start a critical thinking drill. I would make the individual as well as the group if there was one, crowd source the answer by looking into facts and logic.

The interesting thing, was that over time, I stopped hearing why. Whether this was because they had learned to critically think (I would like to believe this) or they were tired of being put into critical thinking mode (more likely) I do not know. But the why questions did stop.

Response by Cpl Dennis F. made Sep 4 at 2014 1:31 PM

Cpl Dennis F. — Thu, 04 Sep 2014 13:31:15 -0400

I recall an old quote "Life is not fair, it is neutral."

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 4 at 2014 7:14 PM

MSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 04 Sep 2014 19:14:01 -0400

A lot has happened in my 53 years of life some not so fun. But if I continued to ask why me it's not fair this would be a very depressing life. I did have a time in my life where I did question the outcome. I was 28 and had my left leg crushed in an accident. They weren't even sure I would keep my leg. I would ask why me, God it's not fair. What opened my eyes was when I was getting fitted for a brace and saw a young woman remove both her legs. It hit me, I have my leg, I can walk what the hell is my problem. I have no reason to be mad at the world. It's was a moment that changed my life forever. Now that I'm battling prostate cancer and winning mind you. I know The Lord sends us thru trials in our life. All I need to do is have faith and live my life. It isn't the first test won't be the last. All we can do is adapt and overcome and carry on.

Response by SFC Michael Hasbun made Sep 4 at 2014 7:50 PM

SFC Michael Hasbun — Thu, 04 Sep 2014 19:50:33 -0400

I have no problem with "why?".

In garrison (read: not actively engaged in combat), I actually encourage my people to understand the "why'. That's how we learn. When you educate your people, not only do you give them a deeper understanding, but you can also grant them a sense of ownership in the mission.

I can just tell you "you have to head-space and time the M2 before firing it" and just leave it at that, but once you understand WHY you have to do it, suddenly it's a lot more important to learn.

In combat, clearly that is not the best time for discussion. In garrison however, they shouldn't have to ask why, because you should already have told them. You have two options as an NCO you can either;

A) Train them to do a task, which will train them to do that and nothing more.

or

B) Teach them what, how and why they are doing an action, so that as they mature, they can later teach subordinates of their own.

As an NCO, I would hope you'd always go for option B. We are here to train future leaders, not brain dead automatons..

There's a time and place for everything, but in Garrison, nothing is so important you can't do your job, which is to properly train and mentor your people.