Posted on Jan 23, 2014
What are the best excuses you have heard for people not joining the military?
811K
3.72K
786
73
73
0
People always have some pretty colorful excuses for not joining the military. What are your favorite/ most absurd?
Posted in these groups: 
Humor
Humor
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 343
420
420
0
My 26 year old cousin has wandered a lot in life, and his argument since high school has been “can’t get a job without experience, can’t get experience without a job.”
So, one Thanksgiving dinner, it was mentioned that he could join the military (in my extended family, replete with a plethora of cousins, I’m the only one that joined.) The table became uncomfortably quiet at that suggestion, and he said “No way! I support my military, but I’m not getting shot at.”
“But you support someone else doing it, though,” I said. “You support someone else getting shot at or blown up in the defense of your Constitution and your freedoms and your liberties, but you’re unwilling to secure those things for yourself, is that it?”
I don’t get invited to many Thanksgiving dinners anymore.
So, one Thanksgiving dinner, it was mentioned that he could join the military (in my extended family, replete with a plethora of cousins, I’m the only one that joined.) The table became uncomfortably quiet at that suggestion, and he said “No way! I support my military, but I’m not getting shot at.”
“But you support someone else doing it, though,” I said. “You support someone else getting shot at or blown up in the defense of your Constitution and your freedoms and your liberties, but you’re unwilling to secure those things for yourself, is that it?”
I don’t get invited to many Thanksgiving dinners anymore.
(420)
(0)
SSG (Join to see)
My 27 year old nephew. " I support the troops, but not the war"
Finally got him hooked up with a recruiter. Nephew was living in his mom's pumphouse, jobless.
Went through all the steps and got a date for basic training. Mid May. Nope, would interfere with his summer vacation.
I tried
Finally got him hooked up with a recruiter. Nephew was living in his mom's pumphouse, jobless.
Went through all the steps and got a date for basic training. Mid May. Nope, would interfere with his summer vacation.
I tried
(2)
(0)
LTC Rodney Joye
Have a birth brother with the same attitude. I am not invited any more either. I think it is best that way.
(0)
(0)
247
247
0
They would have joined, but they'd never make it through basic because if someone gets in their face and yells at them they'd knock them out...
(247)
(0)
CPO John Magill
Have heard that one a lot. But in reality. Soon as the DI board that bus on arrival. Every one of those tough guys are the first ones pissing themselves.
(6)
(0)
SP5 Dave Forrest
Bone spurs that prevent service but not varsity tennis. At my enlistment induction physical they said my eyesight and hearing were too bad to qualify. I found the head doctor and told him a failure to join would break a 5 generation history of service. He "adjusted" some numbers, then during the physical at boot camp (Fort Ord January 1967) a doctor laughed and asked how I got in and when I told him he "adjusted" his test results too.
(6)
(0)
SPC Sharra Schwartz
SP5 Dave Forrest That's actually a beautiful story. Lol. I always loved the Docs who would help you out for a good reason.
(1)
(0)
SPC Sharra Schwartz
I've probably heard this more than any other excuse. Day 1: Drills enter the arrivals bus, and EVERY butthole puckers. But keep lying to your fragile-egoed self, pal.
(3)
(0)
201
201
0
"I'm not the Army type. I cant deal with being ordered around. If I do join, I would try to start off as like a Sergeant or Officer or something so that I can be in control" - Lowe's Employee <br>
(201)
(0)
SPC (Join to see)
MAJ (Join to see) had an LT make us empty some storage rooms and move everything from the room with the longer property list into a larger room, and take everything from the big room (shorter list) and put it in the small room. The smaller room did end up with a short property list, but it was also full to the ceiling with tank parts now. The big room ended up with a pile of DAGRs in the corner, but mission accomplished! The big room had the most items. When the mentioned LT came to inspect, he said something along the lines of "somethin aint right" and decided that the best course of action was to "just move everything upstairs...its not that hard guys" yea just mine rollers and tank plowes, not that hard to move upstairs right? Long story shorter, after a few days of wasting time and playing musical rooms, we finally settled on putting everything back where we found it in the first place. Job well done Sir, have a promotion.
(0)
(0)
Read This Next
Continue with Facebook 
Continue with Google