What are your techniques, practices, lessons learned or stories on the best ways to deal with poor leadership and conflict management?

2020-11-18T04:27:30-05:00

Conflict Management: Telling your Peers/Senior Leadership they are “lousy” leaders and not doing their jobs.

We all have probably had good and bad experiences with this and I would like to start a PD post to get some of your best techniques, practices, lessons learned or stories on the best ways to deal with this and conflict management in general. It usually boils down to the type of relationship you have with the individual and how you approach the situation but would like some other input, especially from Senior NCOs.

**Just to clarify I am not currently in this situation**

Response by SGM Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 18 at 2020 5:01 AM

2020-11-18T05:01:33-05:00

This most certainly requires a strong professional relationship, especially if addressing those senior to yourself. I’d say the key factor is selecting a forum that allows the person’s defenses to be lowered.

Response by CSM Darieus ZaGara made Nov 18 at 2020 5:49 AM

2020-11-18T05:49:39-05:00

I would say this is an example of leading up, not conflict management. Conflict management may come to bare, selecting the right Tim, location, and others of a like mind. Then ask for this person to listen as there xxx have all come to this feeling or conclusion. Come out with it and ask for what it is you are seeking them to do.

When a group of subordinates with like minds bring to a leader an issue it is almost always impossible to deny, unless of course the group are a bunch of weak minds not prepared for military service. That will come out too.

Response by MSgt Steve Sweeney made Nov 18 at 2020 8:06 AM

2020-11-18T08:06:11-05:00

First, don't do that. Until you have held that position, you are not really in a position to make that call. The best you can do is, when appropriate and the opportunity presents itself, ask them why they made the decisions they made. Ask what factors influenced their judgement that you may not have been aware of or considered. Of course if they are the type of leaders that will refuse these kinds of inquiries, you aren't going to get very far telling them they don't know what they are doing. If they do engage this sort of conversation, however, you have an opportunity to discuss with them the bad aspects down the chain. Do this under the guise of seeking counsel or wanting to bring some details to their attention.

Failing that, the strongest form of leadership is the personal example that you set and being able to shield the people below you from the impacts. You become the insulator and if shit rolls down hill, you try to stop as much of it as you can or at least slow the roll a bit.

The last resort scenario if you really do have people above you that are incompetent or vindictive to the point of danger is to go around them using the Request Mast process. Not sure of the army equivalent, but there must be some sort of formalized process where you can bypass command channels to talk to the top. If you go this route, make sure it is for the right reasons and that you have all your ducks in a row. If there is any indication that your efforts are self-serving, they will more than likely fail... and piss off leadership. Be very clear on what you are trying to achieve, why you are trying to achieve that end, and how everyone benefits.

Response by SPC(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 18 at 2020 8:07 AM

2020-11-18T08:07:03-05:00

This had been a constant struggle in my civilian job as well as with my military experience.

My Lt took me aside one day and asked me “why are you so upset? Is it because no one is working as fast as you? As hard as you? You don’t think they’re motivated enough?” I told him yes. He said “we’ll you need to remember who’s in charge here” and I looked at him and said “than that person needs to BE in charge.” He stepped up that day. He realized that people were looking for leadership and if he wasn’t going to do it someone else would.

In my civilian job, for months no one had been held accountable for their actions or lack thereof. As a supervisor explaining job duties to my employees, one of them would constantly throw fits and talk to someone else who will coddle them. My production managers don’t agree on anything and communication is severely lacking.
When my shop manager and both production managers were on the shop floor I expressed some of my concerns. They said the same PC responses as usual that meant nothing would change. I told them “the culture of any organization is shaped by the worst behavior the leaders are willing to tolerate” and that leadership collaboration was needed to deal with the chronic issues at hand.

Since then, little improvements here and there have been seen.
I wasn’t rude or arrogant or condescending. Just factual. And my leadership respected that and took what I had to say to heart.

Response by CWO3 Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 18 at 2020 9:48 AM

2020-11-18T09:48:18-05:00

Developing peers and subordinates is your job as a Sgt. Watching over your seniors is not, unless asked or as a trainer. That's up to your senior NCOs. If you are a PSG, it's good to have open comms with your PL, but stay in your lane elsewhere. If you find yourself in such a situation, just remember that your people watch and judge you, same as you do with seniors. Loyalty demands that you obey those in charge and never appear to work against them. That ends with unlawful orders, or situations that needlessly jeopardize the mission and men. At that point exercise tact, professionalism, and military courtesy. You'd best be right with your concerns, or run the risk of being labelled by seniors as indecisive and less than knowledgeable. Courage and a good mentor help too.

Response by SGT Carl Forsman made Nov 18 at 2020 10:01 AM

2020-11-18T10:01:37-05:00

I have always attacked the situation as a cup is always full, I have to give some away person. I always have been able to change most situations and if I can't I keep moving. I have been accused of leading the leadership by causing situations that make them do something, how you do this is what stiers their response. My X wife is a mathematician and a licensed hypnotist, she made a study of me for some years and figured out that I have the ability to naturally create an algorithm with different people and since my world is full of math she accused me of changing peoples "states" using these equations she discovered. She is quite good at this herself and makes about 200k a month at the top of her game. I don't have to answer to anyone at the moment but when I have, I take the tool "leader" and manipulate that person or group to get what I need to get what I want done. I will say that I may be a freak, my brain doesn't really think of what I am doing as a J O B. I have had places I spent my time, but the way I look at life and who I am, I just get up in the morning, make sure the parts are working, take a dump and go be me all day. The fact that people started handing me money and I paid taxes when I was 12 just meant I get money for being me. I think this is why I am one of those sicko's that never got my feelings hurt during my ten years in the military. I never worried about money, it just happens because making it is fun, I get to hang out with or lead people to solving problems. Look into the math/speech/psychology/hypnotist thing. Once my X used half a note book showing me the crazy algorithm I used in an argument with her of which I won, and I always won, reason we aren't still married, lol. I pay more attention to the math in my speech and actions. For most guys reading this word salad, I lost them about a paragraph ago. If you made it here, I am sure you'll check it out, let me know how it works for you.

Response by Sgt Dale Briggs made Nov 18 at 2020 7:39 PM

2020-11-18T19:39:41-05:00

I’m fortunate as I’ve said many times, my Sr NCOs were all top notch, if there was ever a problem the problem was probably you. They truly cared about their Marines and would move a mountain to help you if he could.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 18 at 2020 9:29 PM

2020-11-18T21:29:52-05:00

You need to know how that person thinks because that dictates how you present information to best influence higher. Phrase things in line with their priorities and what impacts different COAs could have on those priorities. Knowing when to approach is also key. Presenting info that could sway a decision in a public forum might not get you far depending on who you are talking to. Sometimes you have to reattack in a more private setting.

Response by Maj Kim Patterson made Nov 19 at 2020 2:08 AM

2020-11-19T02:08:40-05:00

SGT Private RallyPoint Member clearly I am not a senior NCO. However, I learned most of my lessons from NCOs. Observe. Document. Suggest. Ask. Demonstrate. Then, close the door and have an undocumented conversation. The best advice I got remains: “Shut up and color” meaning sometimes there is nothing you can do or say and it is best to remove yourself from a potentially volatile situation.

Response by SGT Tiik Taaka made Nov 19 at 2020 5:47 AM

2020-11-19T05:47:11-05:00

You are asking two completely different questions. The first concerns doing a job. The second concerns leadership styles.

Both questions rely on one similar thing...What currency are they using?

If my peer is not doing a job according to training, you must find the motivating factor that the peer is spending the most time with...the currency. There are many ways to address the problem of sub-par work ethics. As a peer and future leader, I would start with the basic principles of leadership -lead by example. Start there.

If my boss or senior leadership is lousy, one effective way to manage the relationship is to spend more time in their realm. Recognize their leadership style and find out what it takes to be successful in their world. I found that out-performing my peers the easiest way to keep negative attention from you. You need to move closer to the fire in order to get used to the heat. Start with another principle, 'know yourself and seek self-improvement.